Chapter 38 | The More I Get to Know You

translator/editor: astralmech | editor: ghost

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She probably would’ve had a fairly nice morning if it hadn’t been for Linden Kleinfelder.

The food in front of her was wonderful and it would’ve been nice if a certain someone could’ve seen her done up in a dress she actually quite liked. Maybe he’d tell her he thought she was lovely again.

……That would’ve been very nice.

Rienne carefully cut into the roast and placed a small piece in her mouth. She chewed, but she couldn’t taste a thing, even though she was certain it must be an amazing dish.

But she couldn’t taste anything good.

Whenever she had to deal with that man, there were far too many things to handle, all tangled up together. It gradually made a bitter feeling pass through her, to the point of blocking out all else.

[Rienne] “. . .”

I can’t eat anything.

But as Rienne set down her fork, quietly swallowing the food she had forced herself to eat—

Bang!

With a hurried motion, the door of the dining hall swung open.

It was Black.

[Rienne] “…….What? …..What are you doing here….?”

She didn’t think he’d come. Rienne turned her head towards him, her eyes slowly blinking in a daze. Black rushed towards her, grabbing the chair she was sitting in and jerking it to face him.

It was done with so much force, it felt incredibly vigorous and rough.

[Black] “Why are you here?”

[Rienne] “……..I’m sorry?”

So he’d heard about what happened today and now he was angry.

Well, it’d be stranger if he wasn’t.

Once again, Black was hearing that Rienne was involved in another incident concerning Rafit Kleinfelder. He knew she’d bargained with the Kleinfelders over Rafit’s release and that the idea of killing him had somehow entered the equation, too.

Even if Rienne had no real intention of doing so, he would have no choice but to doubt her.

Their relationship was turning sour, again.

He wouldn’t believe her.

[Black] “I asked what you’re doing here. Why? Why are you acting like nothing happened?”

[Rienne] “I……I didn’t want to break my promise.”

But maybe that wouldn’t happen this time.

[Black] “Did you think I’d do something to you if you didn’t keep your promise to have a meal with me?”

[Rienne] “No that’s not what I said……”

[Black] “Are you afraid of me?”

She’s heard those same words before.

Back then, the question was asked under completely different circumstances. But as the words repeated themselves in her head, they began to lose all meaning. Like the question itself was pointless to ask.

[Rienne] “No, I’m not.”

[Black] “Then why are you here? Did you think it’d be a big issue if you didn’t keep your promise?”

[Rienne] “I kept it simply because I wanted to, but I didn’t think you’d return, Lord Tiwakan. I just wished to be alone for a time.”

[Black] “But why here?”

Those words felt strange.

[Rienne] “Where else would I go if not here?”

[Black] “Not in this kind of place…….”

Black interrupted himself, suddenly grabbing Rienne’s arm.

[Black] “Shouldn’t you be lying down?”

[Rienne] “What? Why would I do that?”

[Black] “You’re hurt.”

As he lifted up her wrist, a clearly visible hand mark was bruised into her skin. It was completely swollen at this point, too.

[Rienne] “It’s nothing.”

[Black] “Doesn’t it hurt?”

[Rienne] “Just a little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle…….”

Black swept his fingers along the bruise as his lips tensed. Without taking his hands away, he muttered.

[Black] “You’re hurting.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

No matter what she said, he knew she was in pain, even if he wasn’t specifying what exactly was filling her with so much hurt. ⁽¹⁾

[Rienne] “But it doesn’t hurt enough that I need to rest.”

[Black] “I’m not just talking about your wrist.”

[Rienne] “If………..If you’re asking if I’m hurt anywhere else, I’m not. I’m really fine.”

[Black] “It must have been hard going through that alone, Princess.”

[Rienne] “It’s alright…..”

[Black] “It’s meaningless to say that if you can’t promise it with a straight face.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

Rienne couldn’t say anything back—her words completely gone.

It felt like there was a lump of hot air inside of her, rising up through her throat. It was all happening so quickly, she didn’t know why she was having this kind of reaction.

The only thing she could sense was how worried Black was about her.

[Rienne] “………nge, don’t you think?”

When Rienne was finally able to open her mouth, her voice was coarse and uneven.

[Black] “I didn’t catch that.”

[Rienne] “It’s strange, don’t you think?”

[Black] “What do you mean?”

[Rienne] “You’re worrying for me, Lord Tiwakan. It almost makes me happy to see.”

[Black] “……..Why is that strange?”

Rienne swallowed hard, struggling to bite back the swarm of emotions that seemed to have solidified in her throat.

[Rienne] “Lord Phermos was hiding in the King’s Office, so you must’ve heard it from him. I was told to kill you, Lord Tiwakan.”

[Black] “And I also heard you didn’t agree.”

But that wasn’t everything she was worried about.

[Rienne] “That’s not all. They said you were going to kill me once you held Nauk in your hands.”

[Black] “I was surprised to hear that, too.”

[Rienne] “Does that mean it isn’t true?”

[Black] “I told you before. If I wanted to get Nauk, there would be more than a few ways I could’ve done so. All of them faster than proposing.”

[Rienne] “Then what about revenge?”

[Black] “Revenge?”

[Rienne] “I keep hearing that what you seek is revenge. That someone in Nauk is responsible for spilling the blood of your family.”

[Black] “. . .”

With those words left to hang in the air, creases formed on Black’s forehead—his expression distorting. Seeing his face twist so quickly, Rienne felt her heart drop in her chest, like something was curdling inside her.

He’s not denying it.

Then that must mean…..there’s a bit of truth to it all.

[Rienne] “That’s what makes things like this strange.”

Rienne’s form and voice had grown so small, one could hardly hear her words. She shrank away as she tried to pull out of Black’s grip.

[Rienne] “Please let me go. I’d like to leave now.”

But Black didn’t let himself get pushed away.

[Black] “I don’t think its strange.”

[Rienne] “………Why….?”

As he carefully held onto Rienne’s wrist, he reached out his other hand and swept Rienne’s tousled hair behind her ear.

The gesture was both gentle and hesitant. No different from the flap of a butterfly’s wing.

[Black] “Everything you’re telling me now, Princess, was said to you by another person. And I’m not interested in other people.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

[Black] “Is there a lot of debt?”

[Rienne] “………?…….”

[Black] “Is the debt the reason why you’ve had to put up with so many unreasonable things?”

[Rienne] “. . .”

Rienne didn’t answer, but the stiff expression on her face said everything for her.

[Black] “How long has this been going on?”

[Rienne] “………..Please don’t ask me questions like that.”

It was far too pathetic for the ruler of a nation to use debt as an excuse for the state of things.

And more than that, Rienne didn’t wish for him to see how terrible the poverty she’d been dealing with was. He already knew about it since before, but knowing and seeing were two different things.

Rienne tried to turn her face away, but Black kept his hand firmly on her cheek, keeping her in place.

He was acting differently from last night.

He was still just as kind as before, but his actions didn’t feel as forceful. The hand that was holding her cheek felt firm and strong, but somehow, it also felt like it was filled regret.

[Black] “Answer me.”

[Rienne] “……..No.”

[Black] “Why not?”

…..Because I’m ashamed. I don’t want to admit to you that I’m a weak and pathetic person.

[Rienne] “I just don’t want to. You yourself haven’t answered my question from before either, Lord Tiwakan. The one about the revenge you supposedly seek.”

For whatever reason, Black gave a soft smile as he started gently caressing Rienne’s cheek with his thumb.

[Black] “Where did you hear that?”

[Rienne] “Don’t look at me like that……..Stories like this have been circulating all across the continent. Such a belief is rampant everywhere but Nauk.”

[Black] “That’s weird. How haven’t I heard about this?”

[Rienne] “……..You didn’t know?”

[Black] “Though it is true that those of my blood are dead. They were killed in this land a long time ago.”

[Rienne] “You……”

His calm expression betrayed how harrowing his words were— so casually speaking of his family’s death like that.

It was a face not suited for someone who was carefully sharpening their blade, seeking to avenge their fallen loved ones.

[Black] “I was only a child when it happened. At first, I was filled with so much anger that my flesh and blood were all gone, but I had to focus on staying alive. Eventually, I forgot all about it as I grew up. And like I told you before, the reason why I proposed was because I didn’t want you to be taken away by someone else.”

He was answering so clearly and plainly, a sense of confusion gripped Rienne.

[Rienne] “So…wanting revenge…… was just hearsay?”

[Black] “I didn’t even know such a rumor existed.”

[Rienne] “But this…….This doesn’t make any sense. We had nothing to do with each other before now, so what makes you say ‘taken away’ like that?”

[Black] “Is that what you really think?”

[Rienne] “Am…..am I wrong….?”

[Black] “I called this land my home until the loss of my family. You may not know me, Princess, but I know you.”

[Rienne] “Ah….but how is something like that possible…..?”

All of this….is too strange.

[Rienne] “A long time ago, you said……When was this, exactly?”

[Black] “About twenty years ago, now.”

[Rienne] “Twenty years?”

Of course she wouldn’t remember. If this was around twenty years ago, Rienne would’ve been barely a child—only five or six at most.

[Rienne] “Did I know you back then, Lord Tiwakan?”

[Black] “Probably not. I think you were too young for that.”

[Rienne] “Then, how did you know about me?”

[Black] “I only knew your name.”

[Rienne] “My name?”

[Black] “My father wanted to arrange a marriage for me. With the Arsak family.” ⁽²⁾

[Rienne] “Wha……”

Rienne’s eyes widened.

She’d never heard anything about this.

Rienne’s father, the late king of Nauk, never mentioned anything to her about a childhood engagement. Not once.

[Rienne] “We were engaged….back then?”

[Black] “Not officially. If we had been, there’d be some evidence of it or it would’ve been taken down in writing somewhere.”

And with nothing to solidify the agreement, it was left to exist only in one’s distant memory.

[Rienne] “Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning?”

[Black] “I didn’t think it was important.”

[Rienne] “How is something like that not important if it’s the whole reason why you proposed in the first place?”

[Black] “It was an engagement that was brought up when I was young. There’s a chance it was just a decision my father made on his own. In the end, I’m the only one who still remembers.”

Which meant even if he had told her, she would’ve struggled to believe him or take his words seriously.

And this had nothing to do with her already having someone by her side, either. If any man approached her with the intent to propose, making such odd claims, Rienne likely would’ve laughed them off or passed their words off as some unpleasant joke.

[Rienne] “……..You still should’ve told me.”

But that was when the man in question wasn’t Black.

Rienne reached out, gently tugging on Black’s sleeve.

[Rienne] “If you had, I would’ve……”

Then I wouldn’t have felt so confused and scared, my heart shattering under the uncertainty, not understanding why everything was happening.

Now, she had an actual reason behind his abrupt proposal. Suddenly, everything felt more real. More believable.

[Rienne] “I…….

[Black] “Princess.”

If only he’d told her earlier.

She would never have lied so much if she knew.

[Rienne] “I’m……”

[Black] “I’m listening.”

I would’ve been honest from the very beginning.

[Rienne] “I..would’ve…much sooner……..”

That was all Rienne could say. She couldn’t finish her sentence, her words tapering off as she fell into complete silence.

Black didn’t force her to keep talking. Instead, he had something he wanted to say. His touch upon her cheek was a little teasing, making her body feel as though it were melting.

[Black] “You were afraid what kind of person I was. You thought I proposed in order to take Nauk, and that I was going to kill you one day. All so I could take revenge.”

[Rienne] “………Not necessarily……”

[Black] “And yet, you didn’t want to postpone the wedding, and you didn’t want to kill me before then, either.”

[Rienne] “…I told you I had my doubts…….”

[Black] “You made me take off my clothes so you could tend to my wounds because I was hurt. And instead of driving me out of your bed, you found a spare blanket to cover me with and allowed me to sleep next to you.”

[Rienne] “That’s…..because you’re my fiancé……”

The hand gently touching her face stopped. Black leaned over, bringing his face even closer to hers. It was an unavoidable distance—something she couldn’t turn away from unless she closed her eyes.

[Black] “Is it safe to say you like me? Even just a little bit?”

He asked her so suddenly, Rienne’s tightly shut eyes widely opened and she swallowed hard.

[Black] “It doesn’t matter what it is. If there’s anything good about me that you like, just say yes.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

[Black] “You can nod your head, too.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

Black’s eyes were cold and clear. Rienne stared into them as she slowly nodded her head. Unblinking, he watched her hesitantly move her head up and down.

[Black] “I see.”

Despite how simple the words that floated through the air were, both sides of Black’s mouth were being tugged into a smile.

[Black] “I won’t listen if you say otherwise later.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

Rienne wanted to say something back, but her mouth wouldn’t open. As if to replace her unspoken words, she gripped the hem of Black’s clothing a little tighter.

If I knew, I would’ve grown fond of you much sooner.

Those quiet thoughts—the words Rienne couldn’t say.

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[Rienne] “I’m fine.”

After being forced to rest, Rienne was left to lay idle in bed, though she didn’t fight much. It hadn’t been that long since she first woke up, so this was the fastest she’d ever gone back to bed in a while.

[Rienne] “It’s just a bruised wrist. That’s all.”

But even as she lay defeated, Rienne continued to argue.

Black sat next to her on the edge of the bed, watching her every move. Every time he noticed her try and shift her body, he’d shake his head at her.

[Black] “That’s what you think now, but it could get worse later.”

[Rienne] “That’s never happened in the past. It’s not that terrible. The Kleinfelders are just like that sometimes…….”

[Black] “You’re saying this has happened before?”

Black immediately jumped on Rienne’s words.

[Rienne] “It’s just their nature to do this kind of thing……..”

[Black] “So this isn’t the first time this has happened, but it’s okay because you’re used to it?”

[Rienne] “That’s…….”

If she were to say it bluntly, then yes…..but why did he look so unhappy?

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T/N: (1) Pro-drop! Except this time, the text is pointing it out for me. He’s pointing out her pain, but isn’t being specific about what is causing it/what hurts.

(2) The term he uses here means specifically a dead father. There’s also no pronoun listed, but unless otherwise specified, one is usually referring to their own parent, so I made the assumption in the translation.

astral comment: Didn’t the drought in Nauk start twenty years ago too? I’ve got my theory cap on, but I’m gonna stay really quiet instead.

ghost comment: “Not important” he says. Sir, please.