The pain I expected didn’t come. He slid into me like a soundless oar gliding into the water, leaving only a ripple of sensation that actually felt … comfortable.
I draped my arms over his shoulders, pulling him lower towards me. I liked the closeness of him, and I didn’t want anything else between us. The rhythm of his body rising and falling above me was soothing, reassuring, and the flex of his muscles reminded me again of that glimpse I caught, his graceful figure gilded in the golden afternoon sun.
Only a week had passed since then, yet so much had changed.
His hand was still tracing over my body, caressing every inch of me with his touch, relentlessly eliciting my pants and gasps. Flutters stirred in me, and I suddenly wondered what he felt like, so I followed his lead, running my fingers slowly down his spine. His broad frame and lean sinews pulsed under my palm, and his skin was surprisingly smooth, radiating heat.
“You are burning me,” he breathed, his lips hot against mine.
The flutters intensified. I heard the encouragement in his voice, and my hand slid further down, past his strong waist, his wide hip bones. I couldn’t have been more familiar with his figure after watching him from the dark for the past five years, but the touch was foreign, enticing, consuming. He was burning me as well.
His breathing grew heavy when I reached his tightly muscled lower abdomen, and I suddenly realized that I was almost at the spot where we became one. Heat rose to my throat, but my hand halted, giving in to my false illusion of modesty.
I didn’t want him to mistake my hesitation for reluctance, and I fought my stubbornness. But before I could will myself to move again, he clasped his hand over mine and brought it to his chest, pressed against his heart.
“Qing-er,” he locked eyes with me, his pulses strong beneath my palm. “I know what my heart desires, and I know yours. You don’t need to force yourself to prove anything to me.”
I gazed at him as if in a trance. Even as our bodies entwined in the most intimate way possible, those simple words sparked something different. Warmth flowed and filled me, swelling like a bubbling hot spring.
If he meant what he said … then this wasn’t simply dual cultivation any longer. It was something more. Much more.
I let my other hand reach up, running my thumb over the corner of his full lips, the bridge of his tall nose, the tip of his thick lashes. Pale moonlight cast a soft, cool shadow over his sharp features, but his face was hot to the touch like the rest of him.
“I … I had wanted to do this last time,” I said as I cupped his cheek. His lips curled into a smile, and he tilted his head slightly, planting a kiss into my palm.
“And this.” I wrapped both of my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, burying my face into his broad shoulders and swaying along with his motion. His long hair cascaded over me, silky and cool against my skin, smelling like fresh summer rain. I held him tight, as if that would stop anyone from taking him away from me, as if that was the last thing I wanted to hold on to in this world.
His hand slid into my hair, and he kissed me on the top of my head. “I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured me as if he read my mind.
Warmth swelled in me again, and the next thing I knew my lips were on his, hungrily demanding his scent, his breath, his love. He moaned softly and pressed deeper into me. The sense of warmth became even stronger, and then I was suddenly aware of what that feeling really was.
“Bai Ye …” I whispered, nervously clutching his shoulders.
The sensation was so unfamiliar that it didn’t seem to belong to my body. It was subtle at first, but grew quickly with every movement of him, every pulse building sharper and stronger. The room became hot. I started to feel sweat breaking on my forehead, and the sheets turned sticky against my back.
“Qing-er.” He brushed aside a wet strand of hair stuck to my face. “I had wanted to do this last time,” he whispered my own words back into my ear and circled his arm around me, kissing me harder, thrusting faster.
“Um … Bai Ye … ah …” I couldn’t suppress the moans anymore, and they echoed along with our heavy breaths all around us. I felt like a tiny raft riding the high seas, drifting and rising and falling at the mercy of the wild waters. The waves surged higher, higher, so high that I was terrified of the moment when it would break. I writhed in his arms, clutching him tighter, afraid to be consumed by the unexplainable feeling. Yet it was so irresistible, so … pleasurable.
“And, this,” he said and plunged into me, hard and deep.
I cried out loud as the wave of sensations finally carried me to the peak, and a tremor shot from deep inside all the way to my fingertips, my toes, my every inch of being. It was a sensation that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling, and it overwhelmed all my senses, blacked out all my thoughts, leaving my whole body trembling in ecstasy.
I panted, my breaths a broken series of shivering puffs. I couldn’t process what had just happened, and the world ceased to exist.
A gentle brush of lips brought me back to my senses. “Like my proof?” He gathered me in his arms. The unmistakable spiritual power from him was already pulsing in my veins, vigorously, lovingly.
I understood then how wrong I was. None of this had ever been about his responsibility to save my life. It was about me.
“Why me?” I asked, my voice still trembling.
There was a brief pause. Then he kissed me again, “Do you believe in destiny?”
I smiled and sealed my lips against his. But in my mind I replied: I don’t believe in destiny.. I believe in you.