Have been, and always will be …

I closed my eyes for a moment to quiet my surging emotions. What had I done to deserve such privilege, to deserve him?

“Speaking of your progress,” Bai Ye changed the subject, “I’d like to see it. Show me your forms.”

It took me a little while before I managed to find a calm voice. “Which form?” I asked.

“Pick one that’s heavier on offense than defense.”

I went through the options in my head and readied my stance.

The Thunderbolt form was one of the entry-level moves taught to new disciples at Mount Hua. It was a bit too basic for my current level, but the wide-open stances and aggressive attacks made it a good candidate to show my command of spiritual power, so that was the one I chose.

I moved through the poses. The form was simple but straight to the point, and I focused on the flow of my power through the blades. Twin Stars pulsed with energy in my hands. I had no doubt that if I were facing a real enemy, the forces it’d unleash against my opponent would be sweeping and relentless.

“Pause for a moment.”

I halted at Bai Ye’s voice, my arm still extended in a lunge position. He came up behind me and held the back of my hand. “The idea behind Thunderbolt is to take down your opponent as fast as possible. That’s why it emphasizes offense instead of defense. But to achieve that goal,” he brought my arm back towards my body, “you need speed. Take them by surprise. Your attack needs to be like this—” he thrust my arm forward, the blade slicing through the air with a whoosh, “—swift and clean. Try again.”

The strength and speed he just showed me were incredible. Impossible. I blinked at him. “How should I guide my spiritual power to be able to move like that?”

“Push it through to where the most strength is needed,” he ran his fingers down my arm, past my elbow and pausing at the wrist, “and leave it up to your blade once it’s here. When you lunge,” he held my hand again, “don’t hold it in a death grip. Feel the power, and let it lead the blade forward along with your body.”

It was his typical way to correct my poses, holding my hand from the back and helping me feel the right posture. Only this time, the soft tickle of his fingers tracing down my arm and the warm touch of his hands … awakened something different in me. I didn’t know how it happened, but my grip on the sword loosened when he clasped his hand around mine, and before I could regain my hold, the sword slipped and clattered to the ground.

I froze. “I’m sorry!” I blurted out. “I …”

How could I explain myself? He was only showing me the proper form like he always did. Where did my mind drift to? What had gotten into me?

Bai Ye glanced at me. “Focus,” he said simply.

“Yes, Master.” I bit my lips. I could tell from his tone that he was displeased.

I resumed the ready stance, repeating the previous move based on what he just showed me. My power pulsed stronger this time, and although I could tell that my thrust wasn’t nearly as impactful as his, I could feel the strength growing and flowing more smoothly under my command.

Bai Ye nodded when I completed the form. “Remember the feeling and keep practicing your control,” he said and gestured for me to join him at the tea table.

I shuffled my feet and moved towards him slowly, afraid that he would either scold me or tease me for the earlier mistake. He had never scolded me before, so that was less likely, but teasing …

He reached out with his arm and yanked me forward, and I fell into his lap with a yelp.

“Seems like I’ll have to change my way of teaching next time to avoid distractions,” he laid his palm over the back of my hand. “What would you prefer that I use instead?” He traced his fingers down my arm like he did before, only slower and lighter this time, purposefully seductive. “How about a whip?”

I stiffened. Whips were what teachers used to punish disobedient pupils. I remembered the bone-chilling screams that used to forever surround the school near my home when I was a child, and I imagined Bai Ye holding a whip, raising his hand …

“Qing-er,” he cut off my thoughts, the playfulness gone from his voice. “Distraction is the worst enemy in cultivation. Your mind needs to stay sharp and focused, not just for making good progress, but more importantly, for not losing yourself along the way. Always remember which path leads you to your destination.”

“Yes, Master,” I said guiltily, realizing the gravity of my mistake. The thought of him raising a whip at me became even more terrifying. “I promise it won’t happen again. Could you … Could you not …”

“Use a whip?” he laughed softly and pecked me on the lips. “How could I bring myself to do it?”

I gazed into his smiling eyes, and suddenly the fluttering in my heart returned. Despite all his talk on distractions and focus, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his.

I hadn’t kissed him in broad daylight before. Although our hall was far from the main peak, I couldn’t be entirely certain that no one would walk in on us, but at that moment, those thoughts vanished completely from my mind. The kiss felt different under the sun, warm and reassuring, less hidden, less forbidden. As I pressed myself harder into him, measuring the depth of his mouth with my tongue, his words resounded in my ears:

“How could I bring myself to do it?”

“If you aren’t entitled to the best I can offer, who is?”

I couldn’t control myself. I loved him, no matter how much I knew it was a distraction and a mistake.

“Qing-er,” he broke the kiss and breathed, “you should know the consequences when you treat a man like this.”

Before I could respond, he lifted me from his lap and dropped me down on the tea table.. Then he leaned in and kissed me again, hard.