“Mei,” Kei called out. Raising her head, Xiu Mei clashed eye contact with Kei’s. She immediately saw his playful turn into a serious gaze at her. “You’ll be able to get through it.”
He was saying that to her like he was assured that it would really happen but she, herself, wasn’t sure whether she could really do it or not.
“I don’t know.” She smiled that wasn’t exactly a smile. Her gaze now on the foods on the middle of the table.
“You will. Because you’re the strongest person I know, Mei. Ever since we were little kids, you’ve always been the strongest among all of us.” If Kei was sitting beside her, he would’ve definitely given her a hug for comfort.
Xiu Mei didn’t raise her eyes and thought about his words. Is she really that strong? What if Kei was just overestimating her capability and maybe, she was actually the cowardly person that other people was calling her?
If she was strong, why weren’t she able to save her best friend from harm? Why were she still alive and her best friend dead? Why… was she left to live just to suffer all those memories?
She was thinking too much that she failed to notice that Kei was already standing beside her. When she had finally noticed his presence, she unconsciously raised her gaze seeing that he was towering over her seated form.
Kei squatted down, to be on the same level with her gaze. He placed his hand on her hair as he pulled her to him. Xiu Mei didn’t reject his hug and wrapped her arms around him. She hugged his shoulders like she was clinging to live. Her face buried in his neck, tears scarily making their way at the corner of her eyes.
The both of them stayed in that position for a few minutes before they released each other.
“Sorry for reminding you such a bad memory.” He apologized realizing he had made her cry and sad.
Xiu Mei shook her head. “It’s nothing. And, this day had always been the dimmest day of the year for me.”
Kei just gave her a light smile before standing up again and walking back to his seat. “Let’s continue our meal.”
The both of them finished their meal half an hour later before they parted ways. Xiu Mei, realizing that she spent a lot of time eating lunch than the usual rushed back to the office to continue the piled up work she doing.
With all the paperwork she was covering for 3 people, she was only able to get off work at 10 in the evening. When she got back to her car, she quickly checked the thing she had on her backseat.
It was a single Iris, the flower symbolizing Ying Yue and Xiu Mei’s friendship. It was the special flower the both of them shared with each other a lot of times years ago.
Knowing that it was still alive and good, Xiu Mei drove to the cemetery where Ying Yue was buried.
Climbing off the car, she wore her windbreaker and carried the Iris flower in her hand, removing it from the vase.
Since it was nighttime, almost everything was pitch black except the garden lights that was lit up along the path. The cemetery gave off an eerie yet comforting feeling even when the sky was already dark. Xiu Mei didn’t feel a bit scared to say the least.
She walked through the gravel path that was surrounded by countless trees. Beside the roots were engraved names and pictures of the people that was buried underneath those trees.
After walking through the familiar path she had walked on every year, she stopped in front of a tree. Her gaze automatically shifted to the picture on the ground-the girl smiling brightly that would instantly lift up your mood except for this time, it was a smile that crushes the heart of Xiu Mei.
She knelt on the ground, laying the Iris flower beside her name.
“It’s been awhile, YueYue.” She caressed the engraved picture as she continued to speak like the person she was talking with was in front of her.
“It looks like a lot of people has been here before me. I’m sorry I got here so late.” Her eyes trailed onto the various flowers that was left beside the tree.
“The boss had to go abroad for some work and I had to cover for his workload today. Oh, and I met Kei today actually.”
Xiu Mei tried making her voice a bit cheerful, to make it as similar as possible to her usual conversation with Ying Yue.
“Did you meet him today? He said he was gonna visit you this afternoon and I sure hope that he did not tell you anything unnecessary.” She laughed lightly. “He’s a bully you know, he made me cry while we were eating lunch. Could you please go and haunt him for me please?”
Xiu Mei suddenly blanked out. She actually thought all the topics she would be talking about with Ying Yue today but suddenly, she didn’t know what to say to her. She couldn’t continue her words when she felt something cold stream down her eyes.
She reached out to touch it and felt something wet her fingers.
She was crying.
For some reason, she suddenly cried. Why?
Her eyes was glued to the drop of tears that stained her hands. After ten years, she still hadn’t emptied her tears. She can’t seem to stop from breaking down in front of Ying Yue every year.
She… how can this be called strong when she’s breaking down like this?