unedited
Epilogue
He had once said half-jokingly to Shen Yan that collecting those diaries in their bookcase each year kind of reminded him of ritualistic blessings, as if with each book they added, their path would become more smooth and their days better.
Him saying this stemmed, of course, reflected his purely optimistic attitude.
However, as if by some prearranged agreement, year after year, everything unfolded favourably in their lives.
After the first diary was placed on the bookcase, the Lunar New Year seemed to approach unnoticed. On the afternoon of the twenty-eight day of the New Year, he was hurrying at the provincial train station with the news production team, working on a rushed special programme about people heading home during the Spring Festival rush. It was then that he got a very fitting call for the occasion. He stared at the caller ID for a good while, missing the first call, lacking the courage to answer the second, and only after the third one called did he slowly walk away to a quiet corner, away from the team, to reluctantly answer the call.
【During the New Year celebrations, take a day to come back.】
His father’s words came through the phone.
The tone he used was a bit cold and commanding, yet it was still the most affectionate words he had heard from his father during the years of them becoming estranged.
He didn’t remember if he responded at that time, or how he did it… It was as if those brief minutes of memory had been erased, leaving only the recollections of the others to fill him in. The rest of the team later recounted that when he came back to the recording site, his eyes were red, scaring everyone who saw him.
Because of that, he couldn’t return to recording right away, and he had to calm down for a good while before they continued shooting.
After completing all their work, he observed the hurried flow of people at the train station, each one boarding the trains to return home. This scene unexpectedly pricked at his heart like the gentlest of needles, prompting him to sit alone in a corner of the car on the journey back to the office, where he finally let tears stream down his face.
On the first day of that year’s Spring Festival, he spent it with Shen Yan.
On the second day of that year’s Spring Festival, he packed his belongings and prepared to take a coach back home. Shen Yan, who had come to see him off, held onto his hand tightly until he boarded. Just as they were about to part, he said one thing.
“This year, you’re going back alone. Perhaps next year, the year after, or maybe some other year in the future, we can go back together.”
This ‘perhaps’ Shen Yan was talking about wasn’t at all certain.
But at least they had some ‘perhaps’, and he suddenly found himself having a glimmer of hope towards the idea of ‘going back home’. Even though it was bitter-sweet, it was also no longer completely hopeless.
After the second diary was placed on the bookcase, at the end of that year’s summer, ⟪Trap⟫ audio drama production also got finished with a total of three episodes.
The people that were there from the beginning, the people that joined along the way, the characters in the drama—each of them following the ebb and flow of the storyline. However, the friends beyond the narrative all remained, and everyone persisted until the very end, ensuring the completion of this audio drama for their listeners to enjoy. On the day of completion, he released a deep breath, gazing at the words【The End】in the last episode’s title, his emotions unable to settle for a long time.
The Bronze Sparrow Terrace’s version of ⟪Trap⟫ didn’t update anymore, and only came up every now and then in the gossip of the forum’s netizens.
Bronze Sparrow Terrace himself also gradually faded from view. Reportedly, he returned to his YY channel, dedicating his attention to hosting karaoke events, listening to the lines of fans offering him their confessions, and other activities that had nothing to do with voice acting. In the audio drama community, where those with a title of Great God came and went in generations, if you lacked high-quality works by your name, the day would come when the sole asset of having a ‘good voice’ would no longer be enough.
—Aside from this, their teaser with the smut scene for which they appropriated and used his recordings had also disappeared without any trace.
He had mentioned off-handedly on one occasion, and Tan Zixian’s placid words finally revealed him the truth, “Oh, that time I sent Bronze Sparrow Terrace a legal letter.”
A legal letter sent by a lawyer, with a genuine-looking seal of the legal office on the envelope, appearing completely authentic—of course, it wasn’t actually valid.
To a layman like Bronze Sparrow Terrace, it was practically impossible to discern whether it was real or not. However, a single glance at the words ‘demanding a compensation of five thousand yuan from the copyright-infringing party’ on it would be enough to scare him silly.
“Bronze Sparrow Terrace had to file in his personal information when applying to ⟪Order to End The Heavens⟫ competition. So, I just called that guy and used his position to get his name and address. But who would have thought that he would get scared away by the mere five thousand? So boring.” For this Mr Tan Zixian Esq. who had always given people an impression of being cool-headed and rational, to actually play with such surprising means, it really left people tongue-tied. When Qi Jing heard this, he was first dumbfounded, then burst into laughter as he applauded.
To commemorate the completion of ⟪Trap⟫ audio drama, the production team happily organised a closing interview. They specially invited an outsider who frequently conducted interview programs within the audio drama circle to host it—after all, there’s no fun in interviewing each other, so this arrangement only enhanced the entertainment value of the interview.
The interview featured the author, Blackbox, the entire staff, and most of the cast. Nearly everyone was present, short for a few voice actors for the minor roles who couldn’t attend due to other commitments.
And, of course, the two main character roles were undoubtedly the focal point of this interview.
Qi Jing, being a seasoned reporter, was quite accustomed to those kinds of interviews. He had no trouble replying to the questions, chatting and cracking jokes with the interviewer and the staff members. With him around, the atmosphere remained lively throughout the entire event.
Meanwhile, Shen Yan diligently answered each question he was asked. Even after his popularity brought by ⟪Trap⟫ audio drama soured, he still didn’t show a sliver of arrogance, remaining humble and earnest as always.
He only slipped up with one question.
“May I ask if Kitty’s Papa would consider taking on roles in other audio dramas if it involved smut scenes? And if so, then what level of explicitness are you comfortable with?”
This question asked by the interviewer was exactly one the covetous bunch of producers wanting to recruit him looked forward to.
Shen Yan wavered for a moment, remaining silent for a little bit before declining graciously.
“I don’t think I will,” He replied in a hushed tone, “That’s not related to the quality of the script; it’s my personal issue. Because… If I were to act in scenes like this with someone other than my boyfriend, I would feel a bit unnatural. With an unnatural voice acting, the end effect would suffer a lot.”
Geese Fly North’s boyfriend, that is, his flatmate.
Everyone in the online voice acting community knew of this individual. However, all the insiders were very careful with keeping the secret, and it concerned his real-life privacy, so in the end, the identity of this person has never been revealed to the public.
Upon hearing his response, the interviewer spontaneously blurted out, “Eh? But your voice acting in ⟪Trap⟫ was very natural?”
At that moment, all of the ongoing conversations in the channel came to halt, falling into a silence as if everyone sensed that something was amiss.
After a moment, they heard Shen Yan gasping quietly. His voice tinged with self-reproach, he asked quietly, “…I’m sorry… Did I just, accidentally let it slip?”
At that moment, they heard a cheerful laughter coming from the other main voice actor from ⟪Trap⟫ in the background, not denying it, “It doesn’t matter.”
In the next moment, the host and everyone who wasn’t privy about this situation exclaimed in astonishment.
“Whaaaat&#k2014;!?”
And just like this, their efforts of&#kJ0; secrecy came to an end.
After the third diary was placed on the shelf, a gentle rain persisted throughout that year’s Qingming Festival. They took two days off and returned to the provincial capital to visit Shen Yan’s grandpa’s grave, as they did every year.
However, a certain man had beaten them to it.
Qi Jing had never seen this man—his posture was rigid, his clothes were neatly arranged, every button perfectly aligned. It was as if his own life could also follow a straight axis like the rows of buttons on his clothes, and he would never possibly encounter any forks in his path. The man’s expression mirrored the cold hardness of the rain-soaked concrete, and despite his carefully-groomed, still-lustrous greying hair, he carried an air of ageing.
He shivered slightly, immediately realising who this person was at first sight.
Qi Jing had heard about him multiple times before, so he already had a fuzzy outline in his mind. And now, those vague sketches suddenly became clear, leaping off the pages and standing right before him.
He gazed at Shen Yan, surprised, and Shen Yan also gazed at this man, both frozen in place for a while.
The man seemed to sense their attention, lifting his head to take a short look at them before lowering his gaze to fixate on the grave in front of him. His expression remained stern, and he didn’t utter a word.
“…Wait a moment, just a moment.” Shen Yan said, giving Qi Jing’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before releasing it and walking alone towards the man.
Of course, the implication behind it was not as simple as it sounded, so Qi Jing didn’t follow. He stood still, silently watching as Shen Yan walked step by step to that man’s side, placing a bouquet of white chrysanthemums with an expression as calm as if the person next to him didn’t exist.
The white flowers he placed and the ones already arranged in front of the grave were nearly identical. With the same variety, the same pruning, and the same wrapping paper.
It was only when they got placed side-by-side that their striking similarity became evident—they were so similar that it almost bordered on awkwardness.
Shen Yan didn’t utter a word or ask anything. He simply lowered his head, following the custom and cleaning the gravestone and the stones around it, as though the man’s eyes on his back were air. He continued to sweep until there was no place left to tidy, yet he still didn’t rise.
The atmosphere was even more unfamiliar than one between the strangers, more fitting to disperse in silence, ending with a full stop as one of them left.
The man stood in silence for a long time. There was a soft sound under his shoe soles, hinting at his intention to leave first.
However, it didn’t end without a single word exchanged.
“After I pass away, will you come to sweep my grave?”
Shen Yan was momentarily stunned, his brows instinctively furrowing, as he pursed his lips tightly.
Unexpectedly, the man just nodded his head, as if he knew what Shen Yan thought. The man’s tone was so calm that it was hard to imagine that he was talking about the situation after his death.
“You don’t have to come,” The man slowly walked away from his side without turning back, “I was the one who wronged you… and your mother.”
At that time, Shen Yan suddenly said, “Thank You for Your flowers.”
Shen Yan couldn’t bring himself to call that man ‘dad’, and he didn’t want to either. Instead, he softly thanked him in the tone one would use to address one’s elder. His voice was a bit raspy, but it carried sincerity, not weakness.
That man’s footsteps paused for a moment, and he stood there like a clay figure, then nodded once more and continued heading toward the main gate. They couldn’t see the man’s expression from behind or perhaps they wouldn’t even be able to see it from the front. He left, expressionless, gradually becoming a grey spot in their field of vision before disappearing entirely.
Perhaps, that grey spot in your heart will also fade away someday—Qi Jing thought, then joined Shen Yan by the grave, where they stood together in silence until the sky cleared up.
After the third diary was placed on the shelf, his three year-long internship came to an end, and Shen Yan officially graduated with his bachelor’s degree.
They had already reached the highest point in their life so far.
However, the road ahead was far longer and farther, offering even more opportunities to reach even higher.
The experience and connections accumulated over the past three years at the national TV station gave him an opportunity that even Mr S.O.B. couldn’t obstruct. He went back to that familiar city, to that familiar TV station building, finally fulfilling his long-cherished dream—for the first time, he was hosting his own program.
The program wasn’t lengthy, just a short thirty minutes of air time, airing only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Yet, it revolved around his favourite topic—news analysis.
He was already deeply content with it as a starting point.
Tomorrow would mark his official recording day for the first episode of the show, as well as his debut as a ‘news anchor’ in front of the audience.
That night, he specially asked the program’s producer for the key to the broadcasting studio they would be using, claiming that he wanted to rehearse—the producer readily agreed.
The studio’s location was excellent, facing the city centre. Positioned on the twentieth floor, it provided a stunning view through the large floor-to-ceiling windows. As the night descended on the cityscape of buildings, the twinkling lights resembled scattered stars. The stream cars on the main road rushed by, leaving a trail of golden light like sprinkled sugar, blending seamlessly into the city’s every corner against the backdrop of the dark sky.
“So beautiful,” He exclaimed with sincere admiration, “It was indeed worth coming here at this time.”
The official recording would be during the daytime; at that time, they wouldn’t be able to see such beautiful scenery.
“It really is.” So beautiful. Shen Yan replied gently from the side, yet his eyes weren’t on the scenery behind the glass, but on the man in front of it.
Upon hearing his response and then seeing Shen Yan’s eyes reflected in the window—eyes that were fixed on him from start to finish—he couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. He said teasingly, “What are you talking about? It’s not really the same as what I meant, right?”
They had been together for four years now.
Even Qi Jing himself couldn’t believe it. So many years had already passed, and he should be used to it all. Yet, after toiling throughout the day, whenever he wearily returned home and was tenderly enveloped in that person’s arms, he would still feel like most of the weight dissipating off his shoulders. He would still find himself so… content to indulge in this sensation.
During those three years in Beijing as a program editor intern, he no longer had to go on business trips as often. He could stay at home more often, leading to a more stable life.
Shen Yan would work during the day and attend university at evenings and on weekends. It was hard on him, but it had its rewards.
After ⟪Trap⟫ finished releasing, their engagement in the online community gradually diminished as they entered a half-retired phase. Especially as their work and studies progressed, they found themselves joining Ninth Lady and the other girls in the ‘Gradually inching towards quitting the community’ group, where they basically just enjoyed their retirement. Shen Yan’s voice acting workload increased at the university, and out of fear for him damaging his vocal cords, Qi Jing didn’t encourage him to continue taking on new roles in audio dramas. Moreover, a new generation of VAs was emerging slowly, and there was no shortage of exceptional talents among them. Even with the disappearance of the ‘elderly’ like them from the scene, the listeners wouldn’t really feel especially lonely.
And as for them, they themselves would occasionally feel a bit lonely and miss the friends they made in the community.
Luckily, their generation of ‘numbers’ would meet up in Beijing from time to time, sharing meals, outings, and heart-to-heart conversations… To some extent, this helped fill the void.
Before their departure from Beijing, everyone came to see them off and congratulated them on their successful careers and academic performance.
Upon hearing that Qi Jing was going back to become a host, Four couldn’t contain her excitement.
Four liked to explore all kinds of professions, and among her previous work experiences, she had worked as a manager of a men’s clothing department in a shopping mall. In her own words, “A woman can definitely have just as good, if not better, taste in men’s fashion after working as a manager in a place like that”. So, with enthusiasm, she took them into the nearby, well-reputed suit store and carefully picked out two sets.
Currently, he was wearing one of them, while Shen Yan surprisingly had the other set on for the occasion.
“It’s the first time I’m seeing you in a suit—”
He smiled slightly, leaning lazily against the wall as he observed the man before him. It was a classic design, a classic black colour, and he wore it all neat and proper, making his figure appear even more straight and his demeanour more upright. Shen Yan hadn’t been willing to wear it even during his graduation ceremony, yet now he had secretly put it on.
Qi Jing had to admit…
“You look incredibly handsome.” He murmured softly, his hand reaching out almost as if on its own accord, his smile widening as he hooked his finger onto Shen Yan’s black tie, lips curling upwards along with the finger.
Shen Yan remained still, his gaze fixed on Qi Jing, neither resisting nor rushing away. He simply remarked, “You said that when you officially become a host, you want me to become your first guest, for a proper, official interview. So, since it’s an official interview, I thought I should dress a bit more formal. Right?”
Qi Jing really did say this, but in reality, it was just their own ‘official interview’ between the two of them; it wasn’t as if they were actually going to be on television.
However, Shen Yan took it very seriously.
“Thank you.” This earnestness was a proof of just how much he valued being a part of Qi Jing’s first step towards realising his dreams.
Qi Jing lowered his head with a faint smile, releasing his hold of Shen Yan’s tie as he guided him to the news desk.
Cameras were directed, lenses uncovered, and with a light press of the recording button—the recording began.
The studio lighting and seating arrangement were all identical to those during an actual recording, with an only exception being the absence of the behind-the-scenes personnel, which prevented them from changing camera angles. But that wasn’t important. What mattered was that their ‘interview’ this time would be captured in its entirety, a cherished memento to hold onto.
Qi Jing adjusted the clip-on microphone on his neckline and, after finishing his preparations were complete, he leaned back comfortably in his swivelling chair, giving the man beside him a smile.
“Dr Shen,” Now in his thirties, Qi Jing’s voice had deepened slightly since they they first met, and his demeanour exuded more confidence and maturity than back in his days as a reporter, “Thank you for joining us in our studio today as my very first guest for an interview—”
“Thank you, host.” Shen Yan slowed down on the last word, his smile warm.
But for that single word, Qi Jing had to temporarily resist the urge to scoot over and steal a quick kiss. Instead, he opened the binder before him. delving into the main topic.
“The topic of the interview for today is—’memories’.”
Memories, that is, they had to go back to the very beginning.
“Maybe let’s begin from those pages?”
He continued to smile as he unfolded a couple of paper pages on the desk. They were just ordinary sheets of memo paper, the kind found in notepads, only slightly larger than the size of a palm. After many years, they had started to wrinkle and fold due to age, yet the words on the paper remained clear.
‘Meticulous, dedicated, cautious, responsible, patient, compassionate’. Those, and many more…
These keywords were hastily jotted down on the pages, the handwriting a bit rushed and messy. On the slightly yellowed paper, each stroke of the pen conjured an image from years ago.
One depicted a man in the surgery room, enduring the sweltering of over thirty degrees, quietly working to save the kittens brought in, their lives hanging by a thread.
One depicted a man outside of the surgery room, observing him so closely and so intently that he ended up spellbound. The man transformed his emotions into a series of adjectives, serving as the initial material for the news report.
“These pages are exactly the ones from that time,” The surprise in the other man’s eyes filled him with joy, “I’ve been secretly keeping them.”
He paused for a moment, his voice growing softer.
“Those words, they represent my first impression of you. That being the case… I will ask you to also write down your first impression of me on a page—just one is enough.”
Saying this, he took out a sheet of memo paper, similar in size to the ones on the table. He slid it before Shen Yan with a smiling crinkle of his eyes, putting down a pen for him to write with.
He expected that this question would take quite a bit for Shen Yan to answer, but he didn’t expect Shen Yan to only think for a short while before taking the pen and writing down a line of words.
‘Tenacious, driven, rational, kind, self-assured, perceptive, tolerant’
Shen Yan intended to continue writing, but the person in question was too embarrassed to continue watching. With a flush on his face, he reached out to cover the page, wanting to snatch it back, however Shen Yan caught his hand in time, covering it with his own, keeping it from struggling free. And just like this, that pen finished scribbling the last words of explanation—
‘When embarrassed, his ears will turn slightly red’
“Just like now.” Shen Yan murmured quietly with a smile, kneading his red and warm eartips between his fingers, making them turn even warmer than before.
After that, many more questions were asked.
Regarding the car accident.
Regarding the visit afterward.
Regarding their cohabitation.
Regarding home.
For him, listening to Shen Yan narrating their past experiences and emotions from his perspective was an indispensable part of their ‘memories’.
When he finished asking the last question, the camera’s timer had already reached three and half hours without them realising.
“We still have some time,” He posed the routine question every host would ask during an interview,“In that case… Do you have any questions for the host before we conclude this programme?”
“I do.”
Shen Yan replied softly, but he just gazed at him in silence for a long time.
After a while, he produced a small square velvet box seemingly out of nowhere. Slowly, he opened it before Qi Jing, revealing a pair of silver white rings that shimmered gently under the studio lights, reflecting a warm radiance flowing silently along their curve.
“What I want to ask is—Host, will you marry me?”
Now, they both stood at the new starting point in life.
It was at the right moment, as they stood side by side with the fresh faces to meet this new beginning, when it was finally the right time to ask this question—now with all confidence and capability to commit to a lifetime together.
In that instant, the camera captured only the details of change in his facial expressions from astonishment to a silent smile, the tears that had unknowingly moistened his collar, and the enduring embrace they shared.
What Shen Yan’s eyes captured though was the complete course of gaining their happiness.
Him and him, together.
—Will you share this happiness with me?
—I will.
【The End】
A/N:
【The words of thanks for the end】
Me writing this story had a simple origin—since I briefly came in touch with online voice acting, I came up with an idea of creating a story set in this circle.
Before embarking on this writing journey, I didn’t view ‘online voice acting novels’ as a distinct genre, it served more as one of the settings for the two main characters. That being the case, I initially lacked a clear blueprint of how to craft a ‘voice acting novel’, simply allowing my concepts and thoughts to guide the narrative. For me, this was their ‘second occupation’, and I particularly liked illustrating the voice acting process, as well as the voice acting itself. I considered the ‘online’ part merely as a platform and not the focal point of the story, so maybe this novel doesn’t completely align with the idea of an ‘online voice acting’ genre.
Within the online voice acting community, there are certain VAs who work diligently and selflessly, often without much recognition. Perhaps they aren’t widely known, perhaps their busy schedules prevent them from joining numerous audio dramas, but their committed and conscientious attitude is something I admire deeply. I wanted to write a story about voice actors like them, which led to the creation of Qi Jing and Shen Yan.
But I didn’t anticipate that I would extend to over 150 chapters and exceed 800k characters in length.
For me, who only ever wrote short stories, it also counts as a personal high-score. The story progression ended up deviating from my initial outline by quite a bit—sure enough, the course of the story isn’t always dictated by the author, but by its characters. ^_^
This journey has taken nearly two years from start to finish. Throughout the writing process, there were a lot of changes in my life—some in my offline life, such as my career, my private life, and some online, where I also had a couple of less favourable moments. Luckily, despite numerous hiatuses, I somehow managed to persevere until the end. In light of this, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to the readers who stood by and continued to support me throughout those times.
Right now, I feel the same as the main characters at the end of the competition—I would love to say hundreds and thousands of words of gratitude, however I will just summarise it in two simple words—“thank you”. During the darker periods of my online history, when I encountered a writer’s block or went on hiatus, I was fortunate to have you, the readers, who helped me through those difficult times. Looking back now, I recall how I would sometimes leave rather immature replies to some comments—times when I lost my temper, acted unreasonably, or was overly sensitive. I find these instances laughable even as I read them myself now. To those readers who I may have unintentionally hurt, I offer my sincere apologies, as well as thanks—no matter if you stayed here until the end, no matter if you can see it.
During the course of writing, I often thought, “I want to finish, I want to finish, I want to finish” (because there’s a lot of readers who wait for more chapters to come out or won’t read a novel until it’s finished, flops). However, now that I have actually reached this point, I almost feel reluctant to part with it… But I believe that Kitty’s Papa and 2Yan will undoubtedly continue to voice act, live their lives, and love each other in their world.
So once again, I want to thank everyone for reading so far!
And this time, please, really don’t ask for my return date—
【Regarding Extras】: At the moment, I don’t plan to write any extra chapters. I feel like I’ve already covered enough, and if I wanted to tell the story of the side characters like Five and Noodles, it wouldn’t be suitable to put it at the end of this novel. If I ever intend to write about them, I would likely start a separate novel (but I’m so lazy… lies down).
T/N:
Lucilla: Well… That’s it guys, this is the end. It was an honour to contribute to translating this novel, and I’m so happy that I somehow made it to the end. It took us a long time to get here, that’s why thank you all so much for sticking around for so long. It means a world.
It feels weird being the one to speak for everyone who ever worked for this project, as I wasn’t here from the beginning. Lilies, the original translator for EROVA, recruited me along the way around two years ago. I’m honestly so surprised that she even considered me as a co-translator, as I was completely new to fan-translating, and not even an English native speaker, but I’m so glad she did, as this journey was an invaluable experience.
Unfortunately, she disappeared suddenly a year or so ago and I haven’t been able to reach her ever since. I haven’t brought it to your attention before, but if there was a change for worse in translation quality around that time, it’s because I didn’t have her help guiding my inexperienced ass through it. I’m very sorry if it affected your enjoyment of the story, but I’m glad you stuck around for it.
I think that I’ll come back to some chapters in the future to edit the parts I’m not happy with or correct some translation choices (I don’t have the access to the chapters Lilies updated, so unfortunately I can’t change some things, like the translation of Sleek Horses Run Fast’s ID in the first chapters), but for now, I want to focus on my next translation project.
Huge thanks to Lilies for her amazing translation, guidance and trust in me to learn how to go about it myself. Another thanks to Whiteflare and Mashiro for their help with editing and proofreading whenever they could!
And most of all, thanks to you, readers, for being here to read it—I hope that you enjoyed this amazing novel! It holds a very special place in my heart, so I’m so grateful for being able to share it with you ^^
P.S. Normally, I would encourage you to support the author by buying the raws on jjwxc if you enjoyed EROVA, however the author’s contract for this novel expired a few years ago, so it’s completely free to read. Nevertheless, I hope that someday in the future we’ll once again have a chance to thank the author for bringing Qi Jing and Shen Yan to life ^^
P.P.S. The author added a little extra in their notes, and it will get uploaded as the last chapter of this novel. It’s more of a character introduction than an extra chapter though.
P.P.P.S. For those who would like to check out my future translation project, it’s “Melting City” by Wuzhe. I plan to start it at the beginning of October (I need some time to prepare an ample stockpile hhh), but you can check out this carrd!