Gina seemed to not understand Jerlina’s pain and felt like she was blaming her for attending a wedding.

“Linny, what’s there to-” she let out a deep breath as if she was wronged. “I know Gerard and you were planning to marry, but it didn’t work out. It happens! He found someone better for his career! Do you have any idea how many millionaires and politicians attended their wedding?” she shrugged. “And just because of that we cannot be close-minded and ignore him, right? Plus… Ugh! Leave it, Linny,” she pouted as the last resort since she couldn’t come up with any more excuses.

Jerlina wanted to laugh out loud. She knew those two never loved her, but still she was nice to them, and provided for their extravagant needs. She thought she’d need someone as family in times of her troubles.

After reading a news article about a girl who lived alone who was not reported missing even after a week which resulted in her demise, she got scared. She thought if she kept those two close, they’d at least file a missing person’s report if they can’t find her.

But no one looked for me for a month! A month! What use are they to me other than plundering my hard-earned money?

“Ah, Linny… I looked for you two weeks ago…you weren’t even going to your job? ”

Gina said and Jerlina’s heart got warmed immediately.

She looked for me? So… Did TJ lie to her and stopped her from looking for me?

“You searched for me? ”

“Yes,” Gina smiled and Jerlina had an urge to hug her and cry.

At least someone looked for me!

“My foundation got finished and I looked for you to hook me up with that guy who gave me seventy percentage discount with cosmetics the last time… I went to your office looking for you, but then I found the guy myself. He only gave me fifty percentage discount this time,” she pouted.

Heh, why do I expect anything from her?

Jerlina wanted to bang her head. “So you learnt that I am not going to the office for two weeks and you didn’t bother to check up on me?” Jerlina asked.

She usually won’t ask her these type of questions, but she got curious how someone like Gina thinks.

“Check up? Why? Gina laughed. “You just got broken up from a long term relationship and I thought you were taking a break. There is no need to check-up on you! You’re strong and you’d be able to handle anything life throws at you. Like I always say, you’re amazing, Linny,” Gina grinned ear to ear.

Jerlina clenched her fists as her throat felt heavy.

Strong woman.

Is that a compliment? Just because I don’t complain, people say ‘I am strong’ and no one would even bother to check up on me? I am a human too! I get hurt too! I want to hug someone and cry too! I want someone to share my worries with too! I am not a rock to feel no emotions! Why would no one understand me?

I don’t want to be strong… I want to have the privilege to be weak and get pampered too… I want to live with no worries too… Like this Gina; like that Emma… I want to have rest without having to work hard to get what I need!

“And Linny, you haven’t paid my car bills for last month. I get you’re sick, but if you don’t pay each month, the interest will add up and it will only be hard for you to pay in lump. Ugh! Why did I buy that BMW in a hurry? If I had waited a little longer, I could’ve bought the latest Audi. But Linny, how do you still drive that old Camry? I get that its your dad’s car, but still… Eww! I won’t be caught dead in that worn-out car!” Gina’s face twisted with disgust.

That Camry….

“I don’t want to drive that Camry either,” Jerlina snorted and a drop of tear escaped her eye. “If only I don’t have to pay for the second mortgage your mother took on our house, if you could afford to pay for your car and tuition, I would have bought a car with good safety features too…”

Jerlina bowed her head hiding her tears. If she had a better car, the airbags probably would have protected her and she wouldn’t have lost her baby.

“Linny, this is wrong! You’re talking as if you’re the one supporting us. Mom took a mortgage on the house for your tuition! And-”

“Yes, after spending my college fund my dad saved for me in a frigging Casino! And I finished college using the scholarship money and doing part-time jobs. Your mom even went on and spent the mortgage money on some ponzi scheme and lost it all!!” Jerlina lost herself and raised her voice.

She always took everything thrown at her silently and tried her best to move forward. But who is the one losing all the time? It is them who get everything good, while she is the one suffering all the time.

“Your dad? He was my dad too, Linny. How could you-” Gina’s eyes reddened and Jerlina turned her face away.

When she was seven, her father brought home a new mother and little sister who was just one year old. She used to think that she should share her dad to her new little sister since she didn’t have a dad. But she ended up losing her dad. Her dad became Gina’s dad and she had no dad since Gina didn’t want to share. And yet, she accepted it silently.

But when her father died, the mother-daughter pair didn’t even bother to arrange for a funeral. She, who was barely eighteen year old then, had to arrange for his funeral single-handedly.

“Aren’t you late for class?” Jerlina lied on the bed, showing her back to Gina. She didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

These days she only remembers the bitter parts of her past and every time it only brings her hurt and makes her heart to get wringed with pain.

“I’ll ask mom to pay you my tuition money back! I only accepted your money because you offered. It’s not like we need your money!” Gina huffed and left the room.

Jerlina flinched as the door got slammed shut.

I offered? Who were the one waiting by my office entrance and talked about how hard it is for her to send her daughter to college in front of my Co-workers just to humiliate me as an uncaring daughter? Was it not your mother?

Maybe I should have stood firm. I shouldn’t have paid for anything! It was my fault for thinking I need someone to call as family!

I have no family! I have no one!