BOOK 3: NO PATHS ARE BOUND

Ch.89: The Mid-Autumn Festival; Battling Lanterns on Moon Watch Eve

CLANG.

Sparks flew.

The blade penetrated deep into the stone floor, and Xie Lian, both his hands gripping the sword, bowed his head and rested his forehead on the hilt, his teeth gritted so hard they might grind to powder in his mouth.

“USELESS TRASH!” Qi Rong laughed out loud. “WHAT USELESS TRASH! I knew you wouldn’t dare to kill me! No matter how much I ridicule you, no matter how I drag you through the mud, as long as I have a knife on someone else’s throat, you can’t do anything to me. You useless coward, for what do you need to live for, a god like you?”

However, Xie Lian had already completely calmed down. He looked up, his eyes cold.

“Don’t be too happy too soon. I can’t do anything to you, but there will naturally be someone who can.”

Qi Rong hmphed. “Are you thinking of hugging Jun Wu’s legs to beg him to help you out again? Dream on. Did he care back then? Hm?? And you still shamelessly follow his lead, are you really that stupid?”

Xie Lian peeled that stately and glamourous God-Pleasing costume set off of Qi Rong. He called forth Ruoye, bound him, and threw him aside.

“You better keep your mouth shut.”

“I’m not afraid of you, you’ve got nothing on me!” Qi Rong retorted.

“Then, are you afraid of Hua Cheng?” Xie Lian said.

Qi Rong’s smile froze for an instant, and in that instant, Xie Lian said lightly,

“Just to give you a heads-up, if one of these days I get into a bad mood, maybe I just might hand you over to Hua Cheng, and have him think of a way to deal with you. So you watch yourself, hear me?”

Hearing this, Qi Rong couldn’t laugh anymore. He said, terrified, “What the fuck, you’re vicious! I can’t believe you’d come up with something like that! Why not just hand me over to Lang Qianqiu?!”

Xie Lian knelt on the ground and used his hands to pick up small, coarse granules from the ground and from under the coffin, one by one. Truthfully, he wouldn’t be handing Qi Rong to the Heavenly Court for the time being; the reason being Lang Qianqiu. If he handed Qi Rong over and Lang Qianqiu learned of Qi Rong’s whereabouts, he would charge immediately with his sword to kill him. Should he be killed? A headache; if he was killed, then what’s next? Another headache. Thus, it wasn’t wise to hand Qi Rong over to the Heavenly Court at the moment.

All things considered, requesting Hua Cheng’s help seemed like a pretty good idea. But really, he was only using Hua Cheng’s name to scare Qi Rong a little bit. After all, he had already troubled Hua Cheng too many times, and every time something happened he’d think of Hua Cheng first; it’d almost feel like he was being overly familiar. Just using his name to scare Qi Rong made Xie Lian feel rather embarrassed.

Qi Rong turned his head and spat some blood-laced spit in a different direction, and that child reached out pathetically to pat his forehead.

“Dad, are you okay? Does it hurt?”

Qi Rong seemed to really enjoy this game of father and son, and responded derisively, “My good son~ Daddy is okay~~ Hahaha.”

The rims around Xie Lian’s eyes were red as he picked up those granules, and he placed them with the utmost care onto the God-Pleasing costume. That child quietly crawled over and helped Xie Lian pick them up, too.

Xie Lian saw those little hands and looked up at him, and that child said in a small voice, “Gege, won’t you stop beating my dad up? Let us go. I won’t steal from you again.”

Xie Lian’s heart tightened; he forced the feeling away. “What’s your name, little one?”

“My name is Guzi,” that child replied.

Xie Lian had finished collecting all the ashes and wrapped them in layers of that costume, tying it up neatly before placing the bundle within the coffin anew, closing the cover.

He then slowly replied, “Guzi, the one over there is not your dad, but someone else. He’s been possessed. He’s currently a bad guy.”

The child couldn’t comprehend what he said, and looked confused. “Someone else? No? I recognize him, he’s my dad.”

Qi Rong commended, “Not bad, not bad, I’ve picked up a cheap son, what a great value! Hahaha…oof!”

Xie Lian kicked him.

Guzi was still young and had always lived dependent on his father, so he was quite attached to the body Qi Rong had possessed, refusing to leave it alone. Xie Lian couldn’t think of a way to take care of him for the moment. With the sword Fangxin on his back, he kowtowed solemnly towards the two coffins thrice. Then, with Qi Rong hanging from his left hand and Guzi under his right arm, he left Mount Taicang, returning speedily back to Puqi Village.

Having left for many days, by the time they made it back, it was deep into the night. The doors to the Puqi Shrine were wide open, clouds of incense rolling out; upon the altar the incense burner was filled to the brim with sticks of incense, and the table itself was covered with offerings. Xie Lian entered, swept a look, and grabbed two meat buns from the altar. He passed one to Guzi, and rudely stuffed the other into Qi Rong’s mouth. That body was alive, after all, and until Xie Lian figured out how to pull Qi Rong from that man, he still needed sustenance.

Qi Rong spat out that meat bun and cussed at how bad it tasted, then yelled, as if a little worried, “I say! You won’t actually hand me over to Hua Cheng, will you??”

Xie Lian sneered. “Are you scared?”

He didn’t have time for his nonsense, and turned around to rummage through his pickle jars on the ground.

Qi Rong was petulant. “Me? Scared? You should be the one scared. As a heavenly official, you’d dare get so chummy with a Supreme. You…”

As he talked, his eyes suddenly focused and locked on to something. Turns out, when Xie Lian bent down, something slipped out of the front of his robes.

It was a crystal-clear ring. That was what Qi Rong was staring at.

Xie Lian didn’t notice his gaze, but Qi Rong’s face grew suspicious behind him. After a while, he spoke up.

“Cousin crown prince, what’s that thing on your chest??”

Xie Lian was going to keep ignoring him, but what Qi Rong brought up was something he himself was curious about. He turned around, his finger hooking onto the thin silver chain.

“This? Do you know what it is?”

“Bring it here, let me see and I’ll tell you,” Qi Rong beckoned.

But Xie Lian said, “If you know, then say it. If you don’t, then shut up.”

Qi Rong grumbled bitterly, “You’re always so nasty to people who are close to you; if you’re so amazing, why don’t you go show off how cool you are to outsiders?”

Xie Lian stuffed the silver chain back into the inner layers of his robe, pressing it against his skin and straightening it.

“If you’re so amazing, keep talking. Every word you say I will keep count, and with every count, you’ll be one step closer to Hua Cheng’s blade.”

Somehow without him realizing, he’d gotten used to using Hua Cheng’s name.

Qi Rong sneered. “Don’t you use him to scare me, maybe one of these days you’ll be the one dead under someone’s blade! Don’t you wanna know what that is? I, who make part of the Four Supremes, shall tell you: that’s a cursed accessory, an object of misfortune! Hurry and throw it out. I can’t believe you’d keep it on you; think you’ve been living for too long?”

Hearing this, Xie Lian straightened up instantly. “Is that true?”

“Duh!” Qi Rong said. “I’m telling you, whoever gave that to you, man or ghost, must not have good intentions.”

“Oh.” Xie Lian squatted down again.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘OH’?!” Qi Rong cried.

Xie Lian didn’t bother turning to face him, and said flatly, “‘Oh’ just means it must be a miracle for anyone to believe you. I choose to believe in the person who gave this to me. I’ve decided to keep wearing it on my person.”

Xie Lian had always been gentle and courteous to others, but to Qi Rong, he was exceptionally cold. Qi Rong was madly furious, cussing nonstop, and Xie Lian only pretended to have heard nothing. He realized that he couldn’t find the pot that contained Banyue no matter how much he looked, and thought, “Perhaps the Wind Master already came by and took her away?”

As he listened to Qi Rong, he suddenly felt something was off.

Strange. Qi Rong was so obviously terrified of Hua Cheng, so why was he trying to provoke him nonstop, as if…as if he was intentionally trying to distract him!

Realizing this, Xie Lian suddenly attacked. He whipped around to glare at Qi Rong, and sure enough, he saw his eyes avert for an instant, looking mighty suspicious. Xie Lian’s gut instinct made him look up. He raised his head, and on the beams that weren’t very high overhead, he saw a black-clothed man. He had his back pressed against the ceiling, adhered above, just like a giant bat.

Xie Lian immediately pulled out Fangxin and hurled the sword up. That man was pressed onto the beam, and to dodge the attack, he flipped around and fell down.

Guzi was so terrified his meat bun fell to the ground, and he wailed. Just before Qi Rong could scream too, Ruoye sealed his mouth, dragged him to a corner and bound him. Xie Lian had thought it was one of Qi Rong’s planted lackeys at first, yet after a few quick parries, he noticed this man was fast and aggressive, oddly familiar. He could say with absolute certainty that with Qi Rong’s competence, he wouldn’t have the power to subdue such a subject. Then he saw there was something held in that man’s other arm. Upon a closer look, it was a black pot, and that pot was the very one that contained Banyue!

The Wind Master hadn’t taken Banyue away? Xie Lian instantly remembered who this was, and blurted out, “Little Pei!”

Turns out Little Pei had come to steal Banyue away, but he unexpectedly bumped into the Xie Lian who’d just returned, and could only hide above on the wooden beam. Because Qi Rong was bound by Ruoye, lying on the ground, he immediately saw Pei Su hiding above. He didn’t know who that was, and had only thought that if it was something harmful to Xie Lian, it must be beneficial to him. He was afraid Xie Lian would notice someone was lurking above, and purposely kept trying to distract him with noise, but who knew Xie Lian would still notice.

Xie Lian carried two cursed shackles, and Pei Su was in exile; neither of the two had spiritual power, so they could only fight barehanded. Xie Lian had fought through his eight hundred years with nothing but his fists, so how could Pei Su possibly compete? It didn’t take many rounds before Xie Lian subdued him.

“Give back the pot!”

Xie Lian only shouted that randomly, yet unexpectedly, Pei Su actually tossed the pickle pot back to him. Startled, Xie Lian thought, was this General Pei Junior really that easy? He’d return the pot just by having asked? Usually wouldn’t they have to push each other around for a bit longer?

Yet at the same time as Pei Su tossed him the pot, he also warned in a low voice, “Hurry and go!”

By that tone, it sounded like he was quite anxious. That pot was still in mid-air and Xie Lian was reaching out to catch it when suddenly, it changed course and flew out the window. The next second, they heard another man’s voice coming from some distance away.

“You’ve really disappointed me.”

Pei Su’s face dropped. “…General!”

He and Xie Lian rushed out of Puqi Shrine. Sure enough, standing far away on the roof of a house was Pei Ming.

He wasn’t wearing his armour; his robes were casual, tall and slender, bright like the sun, he was the very image of carefree. That pot leisurely flew next to Pei Ming then stopped, floating. With a hand relaxed on the hilt of his sword, he spoke to Pei Su, who was standing below.

“A man looks at the big picture and puts his career first. You’re meant for great things, but what’s going on? You’d mess yourself up for a little girl? Do you take yourself for an immature brat?”

Pei Su hung his head low and didn’t speak.

Pei Ming added, “Did you think it was easy to obtain that position in just two hundred years? I even paved the road for you. It’s easy to go down, but it ain’t easy coming back up!”

They say it’s lonely at the top. However, whenever a god of heaven descended, they usually preferred finding high places to stand; the higher it was, the easier it would be to watch all that was below. Xie Lian used to have that bad habit; of course, after he fell that one time, now whenever he stood high up he could feel his leg aching, and that bad habit went away. Yet, the tallest building within Puqi Village was the village head’s house, and that house was a simple tile-roofed building; having General Pei stand upon it really was doing him an injustice.

However, that wasn’t the point. The point was, with just at a glance, Xie Lian knew what was going on. Last time, Pei Ming had the intent to push all the blame onto Banyue to clear Pei Su’s name, and Xie Lian stopped it. Although in front of Jun Wu, Pei Ming appeared to have given up, but obviously he hadn’t abandoned the idea.

This time, after Xie Lian’s crummy business with the Gilded Banquet got out, he could barely take care of himself and his reputation no doubt crashed; General Pei probably thought it was an opportune time to bring up old affairs, find Pei Su, and bring both him and Banyue back up to the Heavenly Court to appeal for a new trial. Truly relentless.

However, Pei Su didn’t seem overly thrilled at the prospect, and breathed a sigh. “General, let’s…just forget about this whole affair.”

“YOU—!”

Pei Ming looked speechless and exasperated. He must’ve been too frustrated to lecture Pei Su in front of Xie Lian. A moment later, he suddenly said, “Well, now I have to see just what kind of amazing girl could make all my hard work go down the drain.”

He reached out, seeming to plan on shattering the pot. Such a way to open it shouldn’t have been a problem, but the real problem was Xie Lian didn’t know whether Banyue’s wounds were healed. If not, and the pot shattered, it would be bad. Xie Lian’s face dropped and he leapt to charge.

“DON’T BREAK IT!”

Unexpectedly, before Pei Ming’s hand even touched the thing, the pot went BANG and exploded by itself.

In that instant, the air was filled with the smell of pickles, strong enough to make a man suffer a mental breakdown.

Pei Ming, who stood closest to the pot, was unfortunately covered with pickles all over; entirely flabbergasted by that pickle shower. Immediately after, the clear, sonorous voice of a woman rang in mid-air.

“General Pei is such an honourable man!”

A white-robed individual flipped out of that small pot; at first, she was only the size of a fist, but the more she flipped the bigger she became.

Xie Lian looked closer, and cried, “Lord Wind Master!”

The one hidden in the pickle pot wasn’t Banyue, but Shi Qingxuan! She hid in that pot and blew a barrage of pickles at Pei Ming, but she herself was still all fluttering white robes, not a spot of stain.

She landed steadily, swung her whisk, and proclaimed, “Thank goodness, thank goodness. Good thing I already sent the little lady to someone else beforehand, otherwise, she wouldn’t have escaped the long reach of General Pei.”

Pei Ming prided himself on his charm, and no matter what, he had to keep his composure; yet now, he stank of pickles, and even in the face of Shi Qingxuan in female form, he couldn’t help but feel a little woeful.

“Qingxuan, why do you have to fight against me like this?”

If it was anyone else, he probably would’ve beaten them to a pulp already. But just thinking of who Shi Qingxuan’s older brother was, he could only pick off the pickles, brush back his hair, and grit his teeth. He shook his head.

“…You, you. You better not let me find out just where you sent the little girl, otherwise I will certainly pay a personal visit.”

The tone of his voice was clear. Whoever dared take Banyue in was opposing him, and he would go seek trouble. However, Shi Qingxuan clapped.

“That’s easy! It doesn’t matter if I tell you where I sent her, I’d love to see you go visit. Listen well: that little girl is currently staying on Mount Yulong, in the cave right next to the Rain Master’s residence! You dare go?”

At her words, Pei Ming’s face dropped, and actually didn’t look as confident as he did before. He schooled his expression and suddenly became serious.

He said to the Wind Master, “Qingxuan, you’re still young, that’s why you like to fight for justice over every little thing. Hopefully when you get older, you won’t regret the things you’re doing now!”

Done, he leapt off the roof, and his figure disappeared. He actually left in quite a hurry.

Xie Lian was feeling a little bewildered, and thought his words contained hidden meaning, so he asked, “Lord Wind Master, what did he mean…?”

Shi Qingxuan, however, replied nonchalantly, “Nothing but empty threats.”

Pei Su watched Pei Ming’s silhouette disappear before coming over to greet the other two.

“Lord Wind Master, Your Highness.”

Shi Qingxuan patted his shoulders. “Little Pei, you knew to come and stop your general this time, very generous of you. Take good care of yourself down here and reflect properly. If there’s a chance, I’ll speak well of you in the Heavenly Court, don’t you worry!”

Pei Su was speechless for a moment, but still replied, “Then, thank you, my lord. However, I still think you might’ve misunderstood something. General Pei isn’t usually like this, and it was only because of what’s happened previously that he’s overly worried about me. Besides, you know too that the Rain Master…”

In the end, Pei Su still felt he spoke too much, shook his head and courted his hands. “Farewell.”

The two of them watched him leave, and Xie Lian spoke up again.

“Lord Wind Master, the Lord Rain Master you spoke of earlier, was it Rain Master Huang?”

Shi Qingxuan turned back around and replied, “That’s right. The Rain Master hasn’t changed in centuries. What, someone you know? An acquaintance?”

Xie Lian shook his head and said softly, “Although I haven’t had the honour to meet the Rain Master, I owe a debt and I am profoundly grateful.”

Shi Qingxuan smiled. “That’s true. Although there aren’t many who are acquainted with the Rain Master, those who are have never spoken a bad word. Oh, except Pei Ming.”

“Is there a dispute between them?” Xie Lian asked.

“Naturally. Those who have hung around the Upper Court for so long all have some sort of dispute or deceit. Let me tell you, that Rain Master is a shadow in Pei Ming’s heart.”

“…Shadow?” Xie Lian wondered. In his mind, he always thought the Lord Rain Master was just someone who ploughed fields.

“You know Pei Ming,” Shi Qingxuan said. “He’s got plenty of descendants, his grand-however-many-sons are everywhere. Before Little Pei, there used to be another Deputy General at the Palace of Ming Guang, and it was also a descendant who was first appointed and then ascended.”

Xie Lian was amazed. “That General Pei sure has many talented descendants.”

Not just anyone could turn ascension into a simple homeschool lesson. Shi Qingxuan flashed her fan open and said,

“He was indeed a talent, but was more or less the same as Pei Ming. Powerful, but also full of bad habits. That deputy official would often stir up trouble in other people’s domains, but he had Pei Ming behind him so no one dared say much. Until one day, he messed around at the old residence in the Kingdom of Yushi.

“The Lord Rain Master rarely comes out, and only plants fields deep in the mountains, so there’s a nickname ‘Old Farmer of the Deep Mountains, Rain Master Huang’. But, who knew the moment the Rain Master emerged, that descendant of Pei Ming was beaten to a pulp. He got dragged back to the heavens, thrown in front of the Heavenly Emperor, and got sentenced to exile.”

“Why does this sound so familiar?” Xie Lian thought.

Shi Qingxuan continued, “At first Pei Ming thought, exile? Whatever. He could very well fish him back up in a hundred years. But, how much can happen in the mortal realm in a century? Every year, every day even, new and impressive talents appear like flashes of light, wave after wave, you can barely keep count. It only took ten years before all the devotees changed their idol; after fifty years, that heavenly official was completely forgotten; and after a hundred years, he could no longer be recalled. The young heavenly official with a once-boundless future was thus wasted, no more. It wasn’t until Little Pei came around that Pei Ming found another right hand he liked.”

No wonder General Pei would do everything in his power to fish Little Pei back up; so there was a precedent, and he was afraid Little Pei would go to waste too. Although, his methods weren’t quite right.

Xie Lian mused, then sighed. “The human world.”

Shi Qingxuan agreed. “Yeah, staying too long in the mortal realm will always wear down one’s spirit and will.”

The two nodded to themselves. The difference, however, was Xie Lian only nodded subconsciously, whereas Shi Qingxuan was intentionally nodding in an exaggerated manner. After nodding for a while, Xie Lian suddenly remembered an incredibly important individual.

He called out, “…Lang Ying! That child!”

Too many things had happened all at once; the excitement was too great, and he had forgotten about that child.

Shi Qingxuan piped up: “Are you talking about the child you brought back from Paradise Manor? The Heavenly Emperor has seen him, and he’s currently at my place. I’ll bring him down for you when I get the chance.”

Xie Lian mentally noted, “There’s still Qi Rong and another child locked up inside Puqi Shrine, I can’t have anyone see them.”

So he replied, “That’d be too much trouble, how about I go up instead?”

Shi Qingxuan nodded in delight. “Same difference. Coincidentally, it’ll be the Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet soon. It’s a once-a-year event, you shouldn’t miss it! This year my brother will come back too, I’ll introduce you then.”

Her tone was full of pride for her own elder brother, and Xie Lian couldn’t help but smile, thinking, “Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet, huh…”

Every year for the Mid-Autumn Festival, all of heaven would hold a Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet to celebrate and watch the people of the mortal realm as entertainment. Other than that, there was also a very important “game” during the banquet, a sort of grand finale to the feast: “The Battle of the Lanterns”.

One “Blessings Lantern” couldn’t be offered by just anyone. What the gods battled over during the Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet was the number of those Blessings Lanterns offered by their devotees that each heavenly official would receive from their main temple.

Although all you would hear on everyone’s lips was “it’s only a game”, “no need to take it seriously”, “we’re just playing around, no need to mind”, in reality, just how many really didn’t care? The majority all secretly held their breath, hoping this year their devotees would fight for them. If there really was one who didn’t fight, it’d only be Jun Wu; because, obviously, every year the Great Martial Palace stood victorious, and the lanterns even increased year after year. Thus, he was the only heavenly official who truly took this game for a game. As for the other heavenly officials, they didn’t fight for first place, only for second; even then, the competition was fierce.

At the peak of the Palace of Xianle’s prominence, it was also incomparably impressive; standing far ahead of the herd alongside the Great Martial Palace, leaving all the other heavenly officials in the dust. Now, it’d probably look quite sad. Xie Lian didn’t even need to guess to know how many of those Blessings Lanterns he’d get—definitely not a single one!

Ch.90: The Mid-Autumn Festival; Battling Lanterns on Moon Watch Eve 2

However, even if it’d look bad, it’d still be better if he went.

He wasn’t like the Rain Master, who had been living a reclusive life for centuries; he wasn’t like the Earth Master, who had a secret mission on hand; and he definitely wasn’t like the Water Master, who could do whatever he wanted. If he wasn’t anyone, but still insisted on standing out, refusing to attend just because he didn’t feel like it, then after a while it’d create resentment and there’d be talk. Even if he wouldn’t think anything of it, it’d make things difficult for Jun Wu. Thus, he accepted Shi Qingxuan’s invite on the spot.

“Alright. I will definitely be there when the time comes.”

In the following days, Xie Lian tried all sorts of ways, but still couldn’t succeed in separating Qi Rong from that man’s body, and Qi Rong was growing quite pleased with himself. Thank goodness for Guzi who didn’t mind feeding his “dad”, as Xie Lian really didn’t feel like stuffing anything into his mouth. On the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, Xie Lian drew an array outside Puqi Shrine, locked the door from the outside, left Ruoye behind to keep Qi Rong bound, and reported to the Heavenly Court.

In verse they say: “White jaded capital of the heavens, twelve towers five cities. The immortal strokes my head, hair bound to receive immortality.” The “white jaded capital” here was, of course, talking about the Heavenly Court. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, everything was renewed and refreshed at the Heavenly Court, and other than that, Xie Lian could see the streets, corridors, and terraces were filled with increased security guards; they were probably appointed after Hua Cheng’s intrusion last time. The banquet was set under the moon, in open air, surrounded by elegant fragrances; an air of propitiousness, clouds of prosperity, and blossoms flurried in the air like snow, giving way to both the space for entertainment and moon-watching. For moon-watching from the mortal realm, if one were to create a circle by touching one’s thumb to the index finger, the moon could fit right in that frame. However, for moon-watching in the heavens, that moon would be bright and immaculate like a giant jaded screen that stood but a close distance away, as if with only a few steps it could be caught; truly an ethereal sight that could not be seen in the mortal realm.

[[天上白玉京，十二樓五城。仙人撫我頂，結髮受長生] are verses from the longest autobiographical poem by the renown Tang poet Li Bai, lamenting his life and political aspirations while in exile. Li Bai was known to be obsessed with becoming an immortal. Point of Interest: [結髮受長生] “Hair bound to receive immortality”—in ancient China, for the Han, binding hair and tying it up symbolized coming of age. Boys tie their hair up into a bun at fifteen and are crowned at twenty. Girls are given a hairpin for their bun at fifteen, and once married, hair must all be tied up into a bun.]

Seated at the head of the banquet, needless to say, was of course Jun Wu. However, there was a hidden, intricate machination to how the rest should be seated, a method to order and position; seated too up-front was naturally a no-no, but seated too far away, the heavenly officials themselves wouldn’t want to. Xie Lian didn’t really care for these etiquettes, however, one must be formally-dressed for the Mid-Autumn Banquet, meaning one better wear what one’s divine statue looked like in the mortal realm. Xie Lian didn’t have a single divine statue, so he still wore that white cultivation robe with a bamboo hat tied on his back; although a little shabby, he really didn’t have anything better. Dressing this way was kind of conspicuous, so he felt it’d be better if he sat somewhere more hidden away.

Just as he had already found a random corner to sit, when he looked up, he saw Feng Xin walk his way. Both of them stopped for a moment, nodded slightly to each other, and considered it a greeting.

Feng Xin walked on for a few steps, but turned back around and asked, “What are you doing sitting here?”

Xie Lian thought he sat down in the wrong spot, and stood up. “I thought I could sit anywhere?”

Feng Xin was about to speak when Xie Lian saw, far in the distance, Shi Qingxuan waving at him from the front. Shi Qingxuan was in her female form at the moment, and when Feng Xin turned and saw, it was like he saw something foreboding. Looking aghast, he left Xie Lian to his own devices and hurried away.

Shi Qingxuan shouted, “YOUR HIGHNESS, OVER HERE!”

The Wind Master was someone prominently popular in the Heavenly Court, and her seat was naturally one of the best, close to Jun Wu. This wave and call made many of the heavenly officials look over, and Jun Wu who was at first sitting silently with his hand supporting his cheek, also noticed Xie Lian, and inclined his head towards him, so Xie Lian had no choice but to go over. On the way, there was expectedly no sight of Lang Qianqiu; it seemed he had long since declined his invitation to the Mid-Autumn Banquet in favor of searching for Qi Rong’s whereabouts. Shi Qingxuan found Xie Lian a seat right next to her, a spot with the best fengshui. Xie Lian didn’t think it appropriate, but since the Wind Master was so fervently gracious, she was already pushing him down to sit.

She said, “I’ll take you to the kid later, after the banquet is over. He’s a little ugly, but pretty obedient.”

At this point, he could only say his thanks. Turning his head, the one seated near the two was Ming Yi, playing with a jade cup sullenly; the hand playing with that small vessel was actually whiter than the jade cup. The colour of his face was normal enough, so it seemed the injuries he received whilst at the Ghost City were healed.

Xie Lian greeted, “Lord Earth Master, you seem well.”

Ming Yi nodded once, looking like he didn’t want to talk. Shi Qingxuan, however, was the complete opposite. She knew everyone, and could say a few words to anyone sitting front, back, left, right, even those much further away. Xie Lian was quite in awe of how she could remember all the names of those heavenly officials, no matter their rank. Seated next to him was a young man of eighteen, nineteen; his nose tall, his brows deep, and his raven hair slightly curly. Xie Lian didn’t know him, and he didn’t know Xie Lian either. The two looked at each other for a bit, feeling a little lost, and ended the awkward stare after Xie Lian made up a random greeting. Looking around some more, Feng Xin and Mu Qing both sat as far from each other as they could, and the ones seated right in front of him, chatting with each other with familiarity, were three heavenly officials.

On the left was a black-clad civil official, his brows respectable, his appearance generous. Between words, five fingers gently tapped a regular rhythm on the table, his expression steady and calm, looking somehow familiar. The middle was, of course, the very-acquainted Pei Ming. On the right was a white-robed gentleman, a fan gently fanning in his hand; on the front side of that fan was the word “shui” for water, the backside drawn with three wavy lines. His brows and eyes looked quite similar to Shi Qingxuan’s; seemingly kind, but his expression very clearly indicated he didn’t care for anyone. Who else could it be but that “Water Tyrant”?

Xie Lian got it: they were the “Three Tumours”.

That black-clad civil official must be Ling Wen’s most powerful form, and it sure was impressively proper. The three of them greeted each other, and used all manner of ways, from all ends of the earth and heavens, to praise and compliment each other, to the point where Shi Qingxuan grumbled under her breath.

“Fake. SO fake.”

Xie Lian found it rather amusing, however. Just then, he noticed at the front of the banquet tables was a small, beautiful pavilion with red stage curtains covering all four of its sides.

He asked, “What’s that?”

Shi Qingxuan smiled. “Oh, you don’t know? This is also a really popular game in the Upper Court. Come, come, just watch, it’s starting now!”

She trailed off as a few rumbling sounds of thunder came rolling beyond the skies. Jun Wu glanced at the sky, poured a glass of wine, and passed it down. Then, in the midst of rumbling thunder, the seated heavenly officials started laughing and hollering as they passed around that glass of wine, shouting:

“Don’t give it to me! Don’t give it to me!”

“Pass it to him!”

Just watching others play, Xie Lian somewhat figured out the rules and thought, “so it’s Drummed Flower Passing”. The crowd passed around the glass of wine passed down from Jun Wu to each other, without spilling it; the wine could be passed to anyone, but it must not be passed back to the same person. When the thunder stopped, whoever the wine cup ended up with would be picked upon for fun; only, he didn’t know what kind of “fun” it would be. To Xie Lian, this game wasn’t a friendly one. The one you passed the wine cup to would be the one who got ridiculed, so most would pass it to ones they’re closer with. Yet, he wasn’t close with most of the heavenly officials present, so how could he dare to so nonchalantly ridicule the others? At best, he could only pass it to the Wind Master, but what if the Wind Master happened to be the one who passed him the wine?

[“Drummed Flower Passing” is just hot potato.]

“Best if no one passes it to me,” Xie Lian thought. “But, I might be thinking too highly of myself.”

Before he even had the thought, the first round was over. Under the intense watch of everyone, that glass of wine stopped in Pei Ming’s hand. It seemed Pei Ming was used to this, and downed that glass in one gulp amidst the roaring cheers. The officials clapped and hollered.

“RAISE IT! RAISE IT!”

In the thick of cheers, that glamourous pavilion slowly raised the curtains of its four sides. Upon that platform stood a tall general, head raised, steps wide, imposingly impressive. It didn’t look like he noticed any of the heavenly officials from below, nor the strangely beautiful scenery of the heavens. He walked for a few steps and started singing verses, sonorous and enthusiastic.

Turns out, whoever the wine cup ended up with, that pavilion would bring forth the plays written about that particular heavenly official from the mortal realm and perform it for all to see. Due to humans’ deep love for making things up, who knew just what kind of shocking play they would see, and one wouldn’t know when they’d be picked, so this game was very much both thrilling and embarrassing.

However, this was also how entertainment was derived. It must be said that each of General Pei’s plays were all exhilarating, simply because the female counterpart was different every time. Sometimes it was a celestial being, sometimes a ghost, sometimes an unmarried lady; each female counterpart was more beautiful than the next, and the stories were each more shameless than the next. The heavenly officials watched with deep interest, waiting for the woman to enter the scene. Sure enough, it didn’t take long before a black-clad lady entered the stage, her voice like a golden oriole. The two actors sang to each other, the lyrics brazenly flirtatious. The more the crowd watched, the more something didn’t feel right, and they started asking around:

“What’s the name of this play?”

“Who’s the woman the general is seducing this time?”

Just then, the “General Pei” on the stage called out: “Noble Jie—”

[“Noble Jie”: the “noble” here doesn’t refer to Ling Wen’s status, but is rather an expression of endearment.]

Below the stage, both Pei Ming and Ling Wen spat out their mouthfuls of wine.

Who else could that “Noble Jie” be? Ling Wen’s full name was Nangong Jie. The heavenly officials were shocked: did the two actually have a past together?!

Ling Wen used a napkin and wiped the corners of his lips, then said flatly,

“There’s no need to think on it. It’s made up.”

Although the two in question were both a little woeful, still, they were both thick-skinned enough. The play continued to “yeee aaahhh yeee aaaahhh” on stage, and the two below pretended not to see. Shi Wudu wouldn’t let them off the hook so easily, however. He smiled, fanning his fan.

“What an exciting play. Any thoughts, you two?”

“Not really,” Ling Wen replied. “This play is old. My divine statues back then weren’t like the ones now. It’s only a folktale. Think about it, in folktales, as long as they’re women, who hasn’t Ol’ Pei tried to seduce?”

Everyone agreed wholeheartedly.

Pei Ming spoke up, “Hey, you can’t say that. It’s true that I’ve seduced pretty much everyone in folktales, but this one, I really haven’t. Don’t wrong the innocent.”

“By your logic, since the mortals all say I’ve seduced even more male officials whilst I’ve done nothing, wouldn’t I be sitting on pins and needles?” Ling Wen quipped.

Ever since Ling Wen was brought to the heavens via appointment, the folktales all told she did it through seducing another heavenly official; which was also why at the beginning, the Palace of Ling Wen was cold and quiet with very few worshippers. Apparently during a period of intense objection, she was cussed and cursed to the ends of the earth, and there were even those who’d throw menstrual linens and bralettes into her donation boxes. However, if male officials had similar rumours, they’d gain the title “charming” instead, and could take full pleasure in it. Clearly, although the situations were similar, a difference between male and female existed, and the consequences were different.

Just as Xie Lian was thinking this, the next round had begun. Shi Wudu was laughing earlier, but this round came to him. The two Tumours next to him raised and courted their hands in a congratulatory gesture in unison.

“Instant karma. Take it graciously.”

Shi Wudu furrowed his brows for an instant, then drank the wine, and those curtains were raised once more. Before the curtains had even reached the very top, two long trills came from within:

“My wiiiiife—”

“Hubbyyyyy—”

Boundlessly affectionate, the tender voices twisted and turned, filled with lingering yearning.

Thus, from below, Xie Lian saw with his own eyes, goosebumps popping up on over half of Shi Wudu and Shi Qingxuan’s bodies.

Shi Qingxuan jumped to her feet. “GE—!! HURRY AND CUT IT OFF!”

Shi Wudu immediately shouted, “DROP IT! DROP IT RIGHT NOW!”

Even without seeing, one could easily guess the play picked must be from the folklore of husband and wife between Lord Water Master and Lady Wind Master. Tales of love and hatred would always be fan-favourites when people told stories. If either was already there, good. If not, even better, because then anything could be made up. Technically, whatever the gods had actually done themselves were the conventional legends, but sometimes when they saw what the mortals came up with for them, they couldn’t help but be amazed by what was truly legendary.

The moment Shi Wudu spoke up, the curtains really did drop down. The heavenly officials in the audience all wanted to laugh but didn’t dare to, suffering from holding in their mirth.

Xie Lian however, smiled and asked, “Lord Wind Master, I didn’t know you can call for the curtains to drop?”

Shi Qingxuan was still shaking and replied, “Yeah, it’s no big deal. Just donate a hundred thousand merits!”

“…”

Xie Lian sat, speechless, and the third round began. This time, the thunder didn’t rumble for very long, and that wine cup was passed to the young man sitting next to Xie Lian.

Seeing this, the reaction from the crowd of heavenly officials was odd. It wasn’t fervent, but it wasn’t cold; more like they were very interested in seeing the play, but didn’t want to be so obvious about it. That young man didn’t seem to be too interested in the game, but still drank the wine. He put down the cup and the curtains were raised once more.

Two stood upon that stage. One was a young general with curly hair like that of a stone lion’s mane, and although exceedingly exaggerated, he still looked heroically sprightly; so he must be portraying that young heavenly official. The other one had pointy lips and monkey cheeks; the very portrayal of a wretched clown, jumping all over the stage. When the young man faced him, he’d act serious, but greasy and loathsome; when that young man turned around, he’d make faces and take a sword to backstab; no doubt the role of a two-faced, cunning villain.

That clown performed with vigour and over-embellishment, like it was a silly, comedic play, but the reactions from the heavenly officials in the audience were vastly different. Xie Lian noticed that the officials in the lower ranks all laughed uproariously, while the higher-ranking officials like Shi Qingxuan and Shi Wudu all frowned wordlessly, not thinking it amusing whatsoever. At the same time, he also noticed veins popping suddenly on the fists of that young man beside him, and Xie Lian became alarmed. Although he couldn’t understand what was going on onstage, he could still guess it was ridiculing another. Besides, even if he didn’t know who was who, just the way the play was enacted made one feel extremely uncomfortable. That young man seemed ready to throw a fit, so Xie Lian took a chopstick from the table and hurled it towards the rope controlling the curtains.

The not-so- sharp chopstick brushed by the rope and actually snapped it. The curtains dropped noisily, and the officials all cried in shock.

“How can this be?!”

“What’s going on!”

They all looked to Xie Lian, some even rising to their feet. Xie Lian was about to open his mouth when the next second, something exploded next to his ear. It seemed that the young man had shattered that white jaded wine cup in his fist.

It appeared that play had provoked his outrage, and he threw away the shards of that jaded cup in a fit. He jumped to his feet, sprang onto the table, pushed off with his feet and leapt onto that pavilion, barging through the curtains. A number of heavenly officials rushed to lift the curtains, but there was already no one inside. The crowd was in an uproar.

“OH NO OH NO, HIS HIGHNESS QI YING WENT DOWN TO BEAT PEOPLE UP AGAIN!”

Xie Lian wondered, “Qi Ying? The Palace of Qi Ying? The Martial God of the West Quan Yizhen?”

He hurriedly asked Shi Qingxuan, “Lord Wind Master, what’s going on? What’s with His Highness Qi Ying going down to beat people up again?”

Shi Qingxuan snapped out of it and replied, “Beating people up is just…beating people up. Ahem. You might not believe it, but, Qi Ying frequently beats up his own worshippers.”

“…”

That really was the first time he’d ever heard of a heavenly official who dared assault their own followers, since that was something that could destroy their image in a believer’s mind. He wanted to inquire some more, but heard a lower heavenly official further away speak up in displeasure:

“Lord Quan really is too immature. Everyone was just having fun, doesn’t he know to cooperate a little? Who hasn’t been picked on? Did General Pei and Ling Wen Zhen Jun not get laughed at? Besides, it wasn’t even him who was being made fun of, so why so angry?”

“Yeah, he really thinks too much of himself. Even if he’s mad, there’s no need to throw a fit right this second? The banquet is a fun occasion, no one’s here to watch his temper! Really…”

“Alright, alright, a kid is a kid. He’s not even here anymore, and it’ll be more fun without him anyway.”

Xie Lian mused while listening to them talk. The feast was only temporarily disrupted, and Ling Wen seemed to have already sent someone to take care of Quan Yizhen’s affair. After some officials came out and assuaged the others, the banquet and games continued. Thus, the thunder rumbled and the fourth round of Drummed Flower Passing began.

At first, Xie Lian was only watching other people play; he couldn’t blend in and was happy others didn’t bother him. He was just about to chat with Shi Qingxuan when unexpectedly, just then, a hand was suddenly extended to him, and passed him that white jaded wine cup.