Weeks passed and Jocelyn still didn’t know what she was supposed to do about these new developments. She saw Delta less and was fairly certain it was because he was busy with his volunteer fire department training. But when she did see him he acted more lighthearted than usual. 

It seemed her pep talk had gotten to him. Around her at least he wasn’t keeping up his more Mercury-like persona anymore. 

She was glad. He shouldn’t have to be anyone but himself. 

Jocelyn also saw Keith a lot more. In addition to her daily orders at the Lucky Lotus they went out to dinner at least twice a week. He hadn’t been joking about that restaurant tour. All of the places he took her to were delicious so she couldn’t possibly decide which she liked best. 

She was genuinely enjoying spending more time with him but didn’t know what this meant going forward. Did he like her or not? She hadn’t figured that out yet through observation alone.

It was difficult to do since he largely acted the way he always had around her. There had been something off about him for a little while after the incident she suspected Delta told her about but he seemed to be back to normal now. 

Jocelyn was 99% sure they were the same person at this point. Delta’s absences coincided with when Keith was busy and his behavior was a lot more like her best friend’s too. 

Maybe it was because they were the same two people now acting more like their usual selves both in and out of costume but she felt like there wasn’t much of a difference between the flavor of their interactions whether they were Frostine and Delta or Jocelyn and Keith. 

Probably because he felt more comfortable joking around with her now so she laughed. That never would have happened before. They were both too professional in hero mode for that before they acknowledged they were friends after all. 

They were just too similar. She hoped he didn’t figure out that she was Frostine for a similar reason. She was being very careful but you never know when you might slip up. 

It would be very difficult to explain her way out of knowing his secret identity. He would likely be angry and embarrassed because of everything he told her thinking she was someone else. It was amazing what people would do when they were talking to someone anonymously opposed to in person. 

Jocelyn was having a good time but also waiting for the other shoe to drop. She didn’t like that feeling at all. 

But what else could she do? Spending time with Keith brought her more satisfaction that anything else in her life did, whichever identity he was using at the time. She was stuck. Unsure how to move forward but unable to go back. 

She found herself being swept along by their enthusiasm in both situations, unable to resist. Which was dangerous because of the strong potential for it all to come crumbling down around her due to the secrets she couldn’t tell anyone about. 

Jocelyn couldn’t do anything about it so she had to focus on what she could do. Right now that was grocery shopping. She needed more toaster strudel, snacks for her clients in her office, shampoo, and laundry detergent. 

It was a beautiful day though. She got sidetracked and ended up wandering around Central Park trying to sort out her thoughts first. She could head to the store and then do her laundry afterward. There would still be plenty of time to do hero work after. Chores had to be done sometime.

Normally, she didn’t stop to smell the roses like this. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her lately. 

It might be because she was finally slowing down and living for herself a little by doing things with her best friend after work two to three times a week. She had never done anything like that before. 

Her life used to be categorized solely by work/school and being Frostine. She couldn’t honestly say that was the way things were anymore. She had a tiny semblance of a social life. 

Even being a hero had become more fun since Delta started being friendlier with her. She never would have described that part of her life as fun before. It was more of a necessary evil than anything. Something she had to do because she had nothing better to do with herself than keep helping people even after helping them all day. 

People were milling about taking advantage of the unusually nice day considering the time of year. Riding bikes, pushing strollers, rollerblading, jogging. Whatever they could do outside while the sun beat down and provided warmth to the chilly air. 

Jocelyn found herself wandering toward the southeast corner of the park. She had been thinking about all the people she walked by, wondering if it was possible for her to ever be like them. 

To have likes and dislikes. Hobbies. Goals. Family and friends. 

Keith was a hero too and he had more of those than she did. More of a personality too and he was just as busy as she was. How had he managed it? 

She was blander than an unsalted potato chip. It was no wonder people didn’t like her. They wanted to interact with people who were interesting and she didn’t exactly fit the bill. He thought she was interesting though. That would have to be enough. 

Jocelyn didn’t know why. She couldn’t help but worry that once he saw how little there was to her that he wouldn’t like her anymore. He wasn’t aware of the full extent of her lack of likes and dislikes. Only that she didn’t have a favorite food or restaurant. That was tame in comparison to the truth. 

She didn’t have a favorite color, movie, book, band, song, season, activity, anything. She just…existed. Largely opinionless. 

Her life was her work. She had nothing outside of her two jobs (though one was unpaid) until she and Keith started hanging out more often. Their restaurant tour was the most she had done for herself since she had gone off to college. 

A young child ran past her, squealing in delight as it chased a pigeon. She had never been allowed to be that loud or have that sense of childlike wonder. That was the main reason she went into marriage and family therapy where she largely worked with kids. She wanted them to have a chance to have what she didn’t. 

Jocelyn couldn’t change their situations but she could do her best to help them heal so it didn’t affect their futures too much. Those they were able to build for themselves. 

What had she done with hers? Helped a whole lot of people without ever helping herself. 

She sighed and looked up at the cloudless blue sky. What would she do with herself if she retired? She couldn’t realistically keep being Frostine forever. She didn’t have a goal or a sense of direction since she already had a career. 

So many empty hours to fill sounded like a nightmare. Most heroes who retired had a reason to. They retired for a person like Mercury or new opportunities like Delta. 

Jocelyn didn’t have a reason. So she would likely carry on indefinitely until she got seriously injured like Mercury had. And then what? She didn’t have anyone to take care of her. She had minor injuries before but nothing serious. She had always gotten lucky but you never knew what could happen. 

As heroes got older their reflexes weren’t what they used to be. It was why there were almost no heroes over the age of thirty-five. Death or retirement were the only options. No one could be a hero forever. 

It would be nice if she could talk to a retired hero about how they managed to do it without going crazy. Unfortunately, they didn’t keep in touch. Nobody knew anyone else’s secret identities except her because she had unfortunately sharp deductive reasoning skills. 

Her neck was starting to get sore from craning it so she looked straight ahead again and nearly did a double take. Was that Mercury and his family?

She recognized his wife’s distinctive white hair sticking out from under a light blue and white beanie even if her violet eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. She was heavily pregnant and was holding one of their daughter’s hands. He was holding the other and looking down at her fondly. 

Jocelyn had wanted to know what was going on with them but also hadn’t wanted to run into him in person because of her desperation for advice. She didn’t want to freak him out and have him potentially perceive her as a threat. Especially because she couldn’t explain how she had managed to figure out both of their secret identities. 

She had seen them and they looked happy so she should go before she did something stupid. And yet…she found herself following them inside the entrance of the Central Park Zoo. 

Since she had been right behind them in line at the ticket counter she was able to continue following them easily enough. She was paying more attention to them than the animals despite never having been to a zoo before. 

Bailey wanted her mother to pick her up but she clearly couldn’t due to her pregnancy and looked at her husband beseechingly. Mercury not only picked the little girl up but tossed her in the air as she giggled in delight before placing her on his shoulders so she could see the animals better. She seemed pretty happy about that. 

So did he, honestly. He looked like there was nowhere in the world he would rather be than at the zoo with his wife and daughter. 

How had he done it? How had he managed to untangle the mess that was his and his wife’s secret identities and still end up being so happy together? Was such a thing even possible to replicate?