Chapter 18 – Will I get imprisoned once again if we do something improper? (1)

Translator: SKAIS Editor: SKAIS

“I’m here to ask something.”

As soon as he heard my voice, he tilted his head, and looked at me. His blue eyes speak a thousand words as it  stares at me. He looked troubled and wondered about my sudden arrival.

I am so lucky his rational side is awake today, I thought to myself. Thinking about getting some good responses from him makes me exhilarated. 

“Yes, yes, what is it?”

“Don’t get red. I haven’t done anything yet.” He flinched at my sudden bluntness.

“Well,  what are we going to do then…”

“What were you doing a while ago? It was a complete mess. You’re making a big deal out of it.” 

“Oh, oh, oh, no!”

What was he thinking? He was acting like I made a bad decision by making him walk outside. As if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have experienced that kind of walk that is worse than an animal’s quadrupedalism. Moreover, I haven’t done anything to him, but the way he responds to every move I do, people will think I’m bullying him.

I looked at him with absurd eyes and squatted down to level my face with him.

“Oh, C’mon. I know it’s hard…”

Actually, I ran as fast as I can in here, which left me gasping in air. I was worried as to why he walked so fast and avoided me. I thought he had a problem or maybe he got sick because of the new experience. 

I felt guilty and responsible for what had happened as I was the one who asked Lenag to let him take a walk outside, if that could really be considered a walk. Now I’m just glad nothing serious has happened. I’ve learned my lesson.

To be certain, I scanned Ricdorian meticulously from head to toe, never missing a single spot of his body. He looks fine. However, after examining him, I was welcomed by his face that became redder than before. 

“Why the hell are you turning red? Was it because I am looking at you?” 

Even if I am treated like a pervert, I still wanna know why. Was it because he’s not comfortable with my gaze? Am I even doing things right? 

Then suddenly, he pursed his lips.

“Well. If you make eye contact… Uh, ah.” 

“I’m listening.”

“No one ever looked at me in the eye…”

He hesitated. So I stared at him, whose face was now hidden in the shawl, but his eyes were peeking. But soon, he removed the cloth covering his eyes and looked at me, perhaps because I didn’t respond to what he just said.

“Amazing… Are you curious?”

Ricdorian moved his lips.

“Can I be curious?” He said that and quickly hid his face again, embarrassed.

The moment I saw his red lips glistening under the shawl I gave him, I quickly turned my eyes away from it. 

Oops, that’s enough staring. Ricdorian had a smooth and pale complexion. His lips were as red as a freshly picked rose and so was his cheeks. I think I’ll feel strange if I keep looking at him. 

Frankly speaking, when I read the novel, I liked the appearance of the adult Ricdorian, and did not care about his teenage look. But what I am seeing right now is something that is ethereal. His whole being takes my breath away…

It must be due to the fact that this male protagonist doesn’t have a face that could be compared to a mere human being. He’s more like a celestial being with an exquisite beauty that is out of this world. 

“I see, Uhm. Oh, I gotta go. I just came here  in a hurry because I was wondering what happened.”

His shoulder, wrapped in a blanket, flinched a little as he heard me. But before I could take a step, he lifted his body up a little, making me turn around. I looked at his finger in daze.

He slightly looked at me in the eyes, holding only a tiny area of my cloth, so small that I wondered if an ant could walk in. 

“Go?”

Actually, I was in a hurry, because I only asked an ample time from Hans to go in Ricdorian’s cell and check on him. 

After he saw me nod, he looked up even more, somewhat disheartened. His silvery hair swayed and his bluish eyes stood out even more with his gesture. With all of his aspects, he could easily beguile someone’s heart.

“Why…”

Those tantalizing eyes that held mine seem blinding at this moment.

“…you didn’t come?” I swallowed hard, a little tense with where this is going.

“Oh, when?”

“For the last weeks, in my room…”

Wait…. What do you mean? In my room? Why use such misleading words? 

He blinked, with tears clinging at the corner of his eyes. 

I soon realized what he meant. Oh. But, wait a minute.  Oh no, hold on. 

“…I’ve been waiting.”

Will I get imprisoned once again if we do something improper things right here?

I quickly gathered myself when I saw Ricdorian rubbing his eyes and wiping his tears that flowed down his cheeks. He looked like a crying little kid whose lollipop was stolen. But he’s not a kid nor does he have a lollipop, so why was he crying?

For a while, I am uncertain if I’m emotionally stable as I couldn’t keep up with the male lead’s emotional changes. Because of this I have a doubt, but… Yes, I am still capable of handling adversity and withstand difficult situations. To boot, I still feel sadness and grief whenever I think of the movie ‘A Dog of Flander’…even so, why did I think of a dog? I must be out of my mind.

The Ricdorian who desperately covered his red face with his palm, made the sound of the steel chain clank loudly.

“…will this be our last?”

Hearing those words from him who was weeping like an abandoned puppy, made my heart heavy. I squatted back immediately right in front of him. 

“Nope. I didn’t say anything.” I said, trying to console him.

I kept interfering with his life and as a consequence he has hit the bullseye as I am now having a soft spot for him.

I felt a bit sorry for him. I clearly understand every bit of what he was feeling right now. It’s the first time he had ever felt this way in his entire life, right? And It was so strange to hear such words from him, who had never done anything for the past month except for crying and growling.

I have no idea why I ended up playing the role of the heroine just for this time. It’s the heroine’s job to save him and tame his beast side. But maybe, even if I help him ease his feelings just for now, he would forget this occurrence after a long period of time. 

I feel a little lighthearted knowing that I am not the chosen one. I recognize my limitations in helping him because I know that I wouldn’t be the one to free him.

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