Li Chuntao took her time and decided to do a bit of sight seeing before she left this place for good. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to come back here and visit these children again. 

It pained her to know that they would part ways like this, not seeing each other for a long time. Perhaps one day, once she had truly moved on from the grief caused by Ying’s death, she would be able to face everything with a lighter heart. Her eyes sparkled with tears as she thought about her sister. She could only hope that with everything that had calmed down, her heart would be at ease to embrace this reality.

She heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw Qin Linfeng running towards her in a hurry. 

“Miss Li…” He leaned forward and supported his weight by resting both hands on his legs. “I’m glad you haven’t left yet.” 

Li Chuntao furrowed her brows in confusion. 

“Why? What’s the matter?” She had already discussed the Li family’s continued support for the orphanage. It’s just that Zheng Yue would be the one overseeing it for the coming years.

“Nothing. I’m just making sure you are alright.” Qin Linfeng paused and gave her a good look, “Are you?” 

“Of course,” Li Chuntao scoffed and turned away from him to appreciate the manmade lake situated within the orphanage’s perimetres. “Do you think Li Chuntao would easily be upset by a simple delay?”

The management took time to sort the papers she needed and she had left Su Ling behind to deal with it while she took the time to look around. 

They must have created this lake to give a scenic view for their guests, but she thought that the orphanage would need to add precautionary railings to make sure the children wouldn’t accidentally fall in it. Things could happen in a split second whenever it involved children.

Qin Linfeng shook his head and shifted to stand beside her. He only knew her for a year, but they had become good friends, just like he was with Li Xiuying when she was still alive. Although, to be honest, he was always the one who kept the conversation going, Li Chuntao would just occasionally respond monotonously to his questions. It was still comfortable anyway.

“No. That’s not it. I’m just making sure that you are really okay now.” 

He wasn’t clueless about Li Chuntao’s regret over her sister’s death, how she really felt. It’s not that she could stop Lin Meirong and Yao Qigang, but Li Chuntao simply wished that she had personally come to escort her sister away rather than to let Li Xiuying suffer alone. If she was there with Ying, at least in her death, her sister wouldn’t be alone.

It was clear that Li Chuntao was suffering from survivor’s guilt as the symptoms had persisted, even after marrying Shen Zichen. There were nights that she couldn’t sleep and there was a sense of apathy around her. 

Li Chuntao even went as far as admitting to having nightmares as the last moments of Ying’s life played repeatedly in her mind, leaving her guilty and helpless at the same time. 

Qin Linfeng was worried that Li Chuntao would have a hard time coping with her loss as Li Xiuying’s sudden death had truly left a traumatic pain on her sister. 

Li Chuntao would need to accept and allow the feelings to surface. As medical practitioners, they both knew that it would take time to process the guilt, grief, fear, and loss that accompanied a traumatic event and the loss of life. Now that she had a family of her own, it’s crucial for Li Chuntao to overcome this trauma. 

“I can’t say that I’m totally fine.” Li Chuntao answered him, her hands buried in the side pockets of her coat. The chilly wind breezed through them, her breath slightly fogged in front of her. “I still miss her so badly, but I think I feel better these days because of Xiulin.” She admitted. 

Just by looking at her daughter, her heart would automatically be filled with warmth and joy. Life still continued for her even after losing her parents, her firstborn child and her twin sister. Li Chuntao also learned to cherish every moment and time she shared with her loved ones because of it. 

“Then that’s good.” Qin Linfeng slightly nodded his head before adjusting the scarf around his neck. It was getting colder lately as winter was approaching. “I hope this will lead to your full recovery.” 

Li Chuntao chuckled at that. 

“I’m not sick, Dr. Qin, but yes, I will be fine. My sister wouldn’t want me to grieve for too long and blame myself for her death. Aside from those two idiots, no one wanted her to lose her life. Not like this.” She muttered. 

“Are you and Mr. Shen leaving for good?” Qin Linfeng asked her which she responded with a hum. 

“Yes. We need to. We both agreed that it’s better to start again on a clean slate. Being here would make it hard for the three of us. I’m not sure how long it would take but someday, we will be back. But until then, I hope you will also live your life to the fullest, Dr. Qin. Go out and maybe meet a lady instead of keeping yourself here 24/7 looking after the kids. You also need a life, you know.” She grinned at him. 

The corners of Qin Linfeng’s lips quirked up. Perhaps if they had met under different circumstances and she wasn’t in love with Shen Zichen, he would’ve surely pursued Li Chuntao. Alas, it was too late for him to make a move since Li Chuntao’s heart was already set for Shen Zichen, even before he met her. 

“I’ll be fine, Dr. Li. You worry too much.” He assured her. 

It must be true that some were destined to meet but not fated to be together, just like him and Li Chuntao.