Translator: Exodus Tales Editor: Exodus Tales
Translated by XephiZ
Edited by Aelryinth
“Do you want to replace me?”
The question took Zhou Ze by surprise. –What did that mean?-
Did he suddenly turn from an illegal migrant forced to hide under the radar into a government official?
It was too much of a surprise, so Zhou Ze was hesitant to accept it.
There were times when pies would fall from the sky, but most people ended up dead when the pies hit them right on their heads.
Most importantly, Zhou Ze was not naive enough to think that the girl was treating him differently just because he had saved her life.
He had yet to learn the truth about the death of the cab driver. The little girl might look adorable, but that was only her skin.
Xu Qinglang told him that she had shown up in his restaurant and stuck her tongue out expressionlessly to retrieve the souls of his parents. She did not budge when he begged her tearfully.
It was unwise to think that a person like her would feel grateful for the little kindness Zhou Ze had done. He should be relieved that she did not tear out his throat in return.
She was an envoy from Hell!
How many sorrowful departures had she witnessed? How much evil of human nature had she seen? How much hatred of the dead had she observed?
She was definitely not an innocent little girl!
“What is it? Why are you quiet?” the little girl asked.
“I don’t know what to say. Was it just a random question?” Zhou Ze asked cautiously.
“You can say if you’re not interested in it,” the little girl said.
Silence followed.
The little girl eventually added, “And then, I’ll send you down there.”
“…”
See, wasn’t that a lot easier? Why even bother giving him a choice when there was only one answer? If the answer to the question was not ‘yes’, he would be shot in the head!
“I agree,” Zhou Ze said. He did not hesitate this time.
The little girl turned around with an innocent smile. She walked up to Zhou Ze and tried to help him tidy his collar like an adult. It was like a superior expressing their high hopes to their subordinates, like an emperor inviting his officials to dine with him during ancient times.
Unfortunately, the little girl was just too short. She could not reach Zhou Ze’s collar. She simply helped dust off his belt.
“Lift me up,” the little girl twisted her lips and ordered him.
Zhou Ze leaned forward and picked up the little girl in her arms.
The little girl helped Zhou Ze tidy his collar and frowned, as if she had realized how inappropriate it was that Zhou Ze was carrying her like she was his daughter.
“Do you think I’m a fool for doing this?”
“It’s very adorable.”
The little girl reached out her hand, about to slap Zhou Ze in the face.
Zhou Ze’s nails suddenly elongated and blackened. A black mist was circling deep within his eyes.
The little girl stopped, grinning thoughtfully.
Zhou Ze did not move.
“You do know that it’s foolish to express your anger, or try to resist in front of me?” the little girl asked.
“Doesn’t matter, I have already died once.”
“You are just lucky that you managed to leave not long after you reached the Yellow Spring. You haven’t even tasted the tortures and the pain in the path toward Hell!” the little girl snapped. “That torture alone is enough to make everyone that ends their own life regret it instantly! Better to live a bad life than die a good death… someone didn’t just come up with that saying as a way of comforting people!”
“Really?”
“Put me down.”
Zhou Ze put her down promptly. The little girl leaned back to look up at him and asked, “Do you know why I chose you?”
Zhou Ze shook his head.
“It’s because you’re smart, or should I say, you have a mild temper, and you’re sensible,” the little girl rubbed her fingers, “The dead have their order, the living have their rules. Lots of dead people have trespassed into the living world for many reasons, but you are the calmest I have seen so far.”
“I don’t believe that’s the actual reason,” Zhou Ze said.
“I won’t tell you the actual reason,” the little girl stretched. “I’m just tired, I want to go down and rest. I just happened to stumble into you, and I learned that you are unlikely to stir up any trouble, so I chose you. Hehe, there was one guy at Chengdu that caused a great scene. He was a trespasser from the dead, but he thought he was a judge and tried to serve justice. Wasn’t he a fool?”
“He was,” Zhou Ze replied. Zhou Ze immediately recalled that Old Dao was from Chengdu. “What happened to him?”
“He was silenced.”
The little girl turned around with an innocent face. “The rules are amenable, but those that cross the line will lose all their hope.”
“Is he dead?” Zhou Ze asked, “I mean did they take him back to Hell, or did he just perish?”
The little girl wore an annoyed look, as if he had touched her reverse scale.
“It’s none of your concern.” The little girl grabbed Zhou Ze’s palm, and lined her hand up with his.
Zhou Ze immediately felt his palm burning. When the little girl moved her hand away, he saw a black rune on his palm.
The rune did not seem complicated. It resembled an eye.
“Hell has its order, the Yellow Spring is crossable,” the little girl said sternly, “Those that deserve to go down, you send them there, and those that deserve to be eliminated, you do so too. That being said, if you want to be a hero, go for it, but you will have to bear the consequences. If you overdo it, there are ramifications!”
The little girl yawned, as if she was worn out.
“You said that you’re tired. How long are you going to rest for? Am I taking over your job for the time being?” Zhou Ze asked.
“We’ll talk when I get back,” the little girl headed for the stairs.
Zhou Ze asked, “What do I do, then? Do I have to patrol at night, find the dead, and deal with them accordingly?”
“The choice is in your hands. Do whatever you like. You can still manage your bookstore. You are a ghost that has claimed someone’s body. Those filthy things will keep gathering around you. You are like the light of a candle in the dark, and they are the moths. Affter leaving you with the seal, I’ve basically upgraded you from a candle to a light bulb, bright enough to blind their eyes,” the little girl said.
“…”
——
The little girl went downstairs. Zhou Ze followed.
“I will be reading some books for a while. The mother of this body will come and pick her up.”
The little girl sat on a plastic stool and started reading an illustrated storybook.
Zhou Ze stood beside her. He was not trying to serve her, but there were still questions that were bothering him.
“Say it,” the little girl said.
“Do…do I get paid for doing this?” Zhou Ze asked, “You know, this place isn’t doing so well.”
“There has been a recession lately. It’s getting harder to earn the money of the living,” the little girl confirmed.
“Yeah,” Zhou Ze agreed.
“Just earn the money of the dead, then.”
“But I can’t use that,” Zhou Ze shrugged.
“That’s because you’re not doing it right,” the little girl opened her hand, “Give me some joss paper, the kind that you get from the dead.”
Zhou Ze took out a stack of joss paper and placed half of it in the little girl’s hand.
“You’ve been earning some money,” the little girl smiled.
Zhou Ze did not mention he had gotten half of it from Old Dao. Somehow, Zhou Ze had a feeling that he would be in trouble if the little girl learned about that.
The little girl took the money and left the bookstore. She crouched beside the road.
“Lighter.” Zhou Ze gave her a lighter.
The little girl set the joss paper on fire. It soon turned into ashes and scattered in the wind.
The little girl rose to her feet and dusted off her hands. “It’s done.”
Zhou Ze was a little confused as the wind blew on his face, “Am I depositing money into the account in the afterworld in advance?”
“Just wait and see, it’s too deserted here,” the little girl and Zhou Ze stood at the entrance of the bookstore and waited for half an hour.
——
The little girl’s face was turning a little red from the wind. Zhou Ze was not scared of the cold, but it still felt strange standing by the road while looking around.
Finally, a man with a huge gut walked past. He dropped his wallet and walked away as if he did not even realize it.
Zhou Ze went and picked up the wallet. Inside it were a few thousand yuan, an identification card, credit cards, and so on.
“Should I give it back to him?” Zhou Ze asked probingly.
The little girl giggled, “The man did a shameful deed. The loss of his wallet prevented the disaster waiting for him. The money is yours.”
The little girl went back into the bookstore and rubbed her hands. She was freezing after staying outdoors for half an hour. It was a lot warmer inside the bookstore.
Zhou Ze came in with the wallet and said in disbelief, “Won’t he call the cops?”
“Just hold onto the money. It won’t burn your hands.” The little girl was a little impatient.
“Fine, so I just need to burn the joss paper in front of the bookstore whenever I need money, and someone will deliver it to me?” Zhou Ze did not know if he was supposed to be happy or sad about it. Nevertheless, it was quite amusing.
Xu Qinglang came in with a huge jar of plum juice.
“Hey, I only have enough ingredients for this much, I’ll prepare more for you once I stock up…”
Xu Qinglang saw the little girl as soon as he walked in. He tripped a little and the jar in his hand smashed on the ground.
The plum juice splattered across the ground.
Zhou Ze looked at Xu Qinglang, hinting for him to control himself.
The little girl completely ignored Xu Qinglang’s presence.
“Whose daughter is this? She’s so cute, HAHAHA, little girl, come, I have a tank goldfish at my place, do you want to come with me?” Xu Qinglang said with an awkward smile.
The little girl snapped, “Piss off.”
Xu Qinglang laughed hollowly and returned to his restaurant.
“Do you think I overdid it?” the little girl lifted her gaze and looked at Zhou Ze.
“A little,” Zhou Ze said honestly.
“I’ll tell you one more thing; that driver died because I was feeling bored on the school bus. I was just pulling a prank on him by revealing my true self. Do you think I’ve overdone it even more?” The little girl slanted her head sideways. She was staring at Zhou Ze with an innocent face.