Chapter 33: Strike While the Iron’s Hot

Translator: Exodus Tales  Editor: Exodus Tales

Translated by XephiZ

Edited by Aelryinth

Xu Qinglang vomited until the world started spinning. He almost puked all his bile out.

Zhou Ze shook his head. The kid was still too naive; perhaps he did not watch enough horror films when he was young. Stumbling into a ghost in the wild and being treated to a meal was actually a typical scene in a horror film. The delicate dishes served to them were actually made of maggots, worms, cockroaches, ants, and other vermin.

He was so done with the horror films using the same idea over and over again. Even if Zhou Ze was able to eat properly, he would not bother raising his chopsticks.

Did the man really think a ghost was able to go buy fresh ingredients every day and cook the food on a stove?

Zhou Ze remembered an incident he was told. Once, a man went to visit his friend. The friend said his wife had gone traveling, so he had to entertain the man himself. The man ended up staying at his friend’s place for a week. The only complaint he had was his friend rarely cooked vegetables. It was all meat, but he had to admit that the soup was actually very delicious.

The man said goodbye to his friend and then stumbled into his friend’s neighbor. The neighbor mentioned that his friend had not left his house for almost a month. He had been shutting himself in his house.

The man immediately vomited after hearing that…

Zhou Ze subconsciously picked up the cup of wine before him, but quickly placed it back down. He almost forgot that the wine was brewed with piss collected from pedestrians.

“If husband isn’t feeling well, maybe you should go and get some rest,” the ghost lady glanced at the servant girl wearing a black dress.

The servant girl nodded and went over to help Xu Qinglang up.

Xu Qinglang pushed the servant girl aside and sat upright in his chair. “Just spill the beans, I’m tired of your games.”

Xu Qinglang was angry, seriously angry!

The ghost lady rose to her feet and went up to Zhou Ze. Zhou Ze could clearly smell her fragrance. The lady had an alluring, well-rounded figure. He could not help but have some imaginative thoughts.

Zhou Ze let out a relieved sigh. It seemed like he was still normal, even after spending most of his time with Xu Qinglang.

However, Zhou Ze did not have the courage to flip up the veil covering the ghost lady’s face. He would most likely find the face of a skeleton under it.

Judging from the decorations and the layouts inside the house, it was likely that the ghost lady had died quite a long time ago. If the lady was in a good mood, she might be willing to show them the face she had when she was still alive. However, if they were unlucky, they would be staring at a rotten face crawling with maggots instead.

Zhou Ze remembered reading an article in the newspaper in his previous life. There was a time when it was quite popular for a husband to stay with their wife in the labor ward when their wife was giving birth.

Many people assumed it would help the husband understand the pain and sacrifices their wife went through birth to their children. However, a Japanese man once suffered depression after watching his wife giving birth. He could no longer live with his wife, and the two ended up divorcing.

In Zhou Ze’s case, he had a neighbor that was prettier than most women. If he was emotionally scarred after seeing the ghost lady’s face, it might end up leading his sexual orientation into a deep abyss.

He had yet to fulfill his desires either in his previous life or his current one. Zhou Ze had no intention to get ahead of himself so quickly in his current life.

“Your Excellency, I wasn’t being disrespectful by inviting you here instead of paying you a visit. It’s just that I am not allowed to leave this place,” the ghost lady said to Zhou Ze sadly.

“As for the reason why I picked this man to be my groom, it was because he once joked to his friend when he happened to pass by this place when he was still a kid. He said that if a ghost was as pretty as Joey Wong, he was willing to marry her.”

Xu Qinglang dropped his jaw. –Did that really happen?- He had completely forgotten about it!

Zhou Ze gave Xu Qinglang a thoughtful look. -How surprising! Despite your feminine looks, your thoughts were already so precocious when you were still a kid!-

“So, what do you want exactly?” Zhou Ze did not threaten the ghost lady, who he would send to Hell if she was misbehaving.

The little girl had mentioned that he was the most sensible person she had ever met. It was actually quite fitting; Zhou Ze would never place himself in danger if he did not feel obliged, or there were no benefits for doing so.

“Your Excellency, don’t you worry, I’ll be leaving today. My soul is returning to the afterworld!” The ghost lady smiled and added, “My surname is Bai, I’m the daughter of a well-educated family from the reign of the Daoguang Emperor. Unfortunately, I died the night before I was married. I was buried here around two hundred years ago. I have turned into a ghost, but I have not performed a single misdeed. Instead, I have helped to look after the well-being of the neighborhood. Mr. Se An even built a shrine to remember me, but the shrine was destroyed within the last sixty years. No one knows there was once a Yin shrine here anymore.”

“Who’s Mr. Se An?” Xu Qinglang blinked.

“Zhang Jian,” Zhou Ze replied.

{TL Note: Zhang Jian was a politician. He was among the pioneers of Chinese modernization.}

“Oh, him,” Xu Qinglang immediately recognized that name.

Zhang Jian was quite famous in the final years of the Qing dynasty. He had drafted the Imperial Rescript of Emperor Xuantong’s Abdication; he was a scholar and an ethical entrepreneur back in the days.

The Yin shrine that the ghost lady mentioned did not necessarily mean that the place was filled with the presence of evil. It was a shrine that was not officially recognized by the ruling dynasty back in the days, more of an illegal shrine.

“You’re quite impressive then.” Xu Qinglang finally recovered from his intense vomiting. He felt at ease when the ghost lady clarified that she was only pulling a prank on him because of some joke he said when he was a kid. It was a relief that the ghost lady was not forcing him to be her groom.

The ghost had cultivated for two hundred years. She had even had a shrine for people to worship her. It was likely that she was beyond being a ghost now, right?

“Now, I’ve perfected my cultivation. It’s time for me to descend to the afterworld. However, I have a favor to ask.”

The ghost lady bowed slightly at Zhou Ze and pleaded, “My flesh is vivid and well-preserved after two hundred years because of how it was buried. My soul is going to the afterlife, but I won’t be able to bring my flesh along. My flesh is slowly turning into an evil spirit since I’ve been around for two hundred years. I’m worried that it is going to harm innocent lives once I leave, which is why I’m asking Your Excellency for help.”

“How can I help you?” Zhou Ze rubbed his hands. It was a relief that the ghost woman was willing to turn herself in.

Hang on, it did not seem like the ghost lady was turning herself in. It was more like a rebelling army whose influence had grown to a certain level in the past, so the ruling dynasty has no choice but to recruit the army and make them officials in the court.

Either way, it was fine as long as the ghost lady was not hostile.

“I would like Your Excellency to look after my body on my behalf and cremate it with bamboo on the first night of the next Winter Clothes Festival,” the ghost lady said.

{TL Note: Winter Clothes Festival (a.k.a Tomb-sweeping Day or Hungry Ghost Festival) are the days for people to offer sacrifice to their ancestors in China. It starts on the first day of Lunar October.}

“Look after your body on your behalf?” Zhou Ze hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Does that mean Your Excellency is willing to help?” the ghost lady confirmed, “I’m utterly grateful.”

“You’re welcome.” Zhou Ze subconsciously lifted the cup of wine, then put it down again.

“It’s time for me to excuse myself.” The ghost lady slowly faded away.

Zhou Ze smacked his lips. The next thing he knew, his surroundings had slowly faded away. Both he and Xu Qinglang were sitting on two blocks of stone instead.

The banquet had completely disappeared too. Their surroundings were covered in weeds and broken stones.

Xu Qinglang lit up a cigarette. He seemed a little depressed.

“Disappointed because you didn’t get to see what your wife looks like?” Zhou Ze asked.

“Why didn’t you flip her veil over yourself?” Xu Qinglang harrumphed coldly.

Time would eventually reveal a person’s character. Xu Qinglang clearly remembered that Zhou Ze had set him up a couple of times tonight.

“She’s your wife, I wouldn’t dare to cross the line,” Zhou Ze observed his surroundings and stomped the ground. “So Madam Bai’s corpse is buried under here?”

“I think so,” Xu Qinglang was not too sure himself. However, he soon noticed two rusted shovels under a bush nearby. “I guess you’re right. She even prepared the shovels for us.”

Zhou Ze and Xu Qinglang each picked up a shovel. There was nothing else to say. It was time to start digging!

——

The two kept digging until dawn. They were sweating buckets when the shovels finally hit something hard. They cleared the soil covering the thing and discovered that it was a red coffin.

It took the two another half an hour to fully dig out the coffin.

“Open the lid,” Zhou Ze said. “It’s almost morning. Let’s just get it done. Otherwise, someone might think that we’re grave robbers and call the cops on us.”

“You do it,” Xu Qinglang wiped the sweat on his forehead, “It feels disgusting.”

“Didn’t she say her body hasn’t rotted yet?”

“Who knows if she was telling the truth?”

Zhou Ze shook his head. He had no other choice since he already given his promise. Xu Qinglang was only lending him a hand, meaning that he had to do the things that Xu Qinglang was unwilling to do.

Zhou Ze pried open the nails and pulled the lid up. He turned on the flashlight on his phone.

“Huh…she’s actually quite good-looking.”

Xu Qinglang moved his head closer. There was indeed a woman in a white dress inside the coffin. She had long hair, a beautiful face, and her body was perfectly fine. She looked like she was asleep.

“She’s your wife, should you strike while the iron’s hot…”

Xu Qinglang nudged Zhou Ze and snapped, “What the heck are you saying? Let’s hurry up and bring her back!”

This time, Xu Qinglang took the initiative. He jumped down into the hole and lifted out the body.

However, Xu Qinglang’s expression shifted as soon as he laid his hands on the body. He immediately put the body down and rubbed his hands.

“He gasped, “It’s freezing, like bone-chilling freezing! The body has a strong evil presence. It’s clear that the body is on the verge of turning into a gyonshi! The woman wasn’t being honest with us. She must have preserved her body on purpose because she wanted to keep her beauty, which resulted in such trouble when she was finally done here.”

{TL Note: Gyonshi here is a Chinese zombie / vampire.}

Zhou Ze went down and lifted up the body. He immediately sensed a chill that could penetrate his soul.

Zhou Ze quickly realized his nails were growing longer. The coldness that Xu Qinglang referred to as an evil presence was pouring into Zhou Ze’s nails too!

An overwhelming sensation surged within Zhou Ze’s soul. It felt so pleasant that his soul was trembling, as if it was nourishing his soul.

“Phew…phew…”

Xu Qinglang, who was checking to see if his hands were suffering from frostbite, pointed at Zhou Ze when he heard Zhou Ze’ heavy breathing and exclaimed in surprise, “You son of a b**ch, don’t tell me you are seriously striking while the iron is hot!”