Chapter 660: Open Up

Translator: Atlas Studios  Editor: Atlas Studios

“But you don’t like it.”

Cheng Zheng said in a half-joking manner and propped his forehead with a hand as if he was laughing. His tone sounded as if he was talking to a friend with sincerity.

“Xiang Wan, you didn’t know that your initial rejection was a huge blow to me… My self-esteem, self-confidence, self-evaluation all collapsed at that moment… There was even a period where I developed the idea that I must get you from Bai Muchuan’s side at all costs. That time, I felt that if I didn’t have you beside me, my life would be incomplete and dark. This is probably how I reacted in response to jealousy and my wounded pride. I felt like I’d lost control.”

Oh!

He actually analyzed himself to such an extent.

“Well… then I have to apologize to you,” smiled Xiang Wan. “At that time, I was not the same as I am now.”

“Indeed.” Cheng Zheng nodded his head. “If the you back then is the you right now, I wouldn’t have hesitated.”

“Haha!” Xiang Wan felt relaxed to be able to speak so frankly with him. “At that time, I’m not as open-minded as of now. I do not see that as a rejection but it was a type of protection of myself… This is because I don’t have much confidence. I don’t think that I will achieve happiness if I accept you. The bottom line is, I’m a selfish person. I rejected you simply because I wanted another way out for my life.”

Cheng Zheng had never expected that and was slightly taken aback. “So it’s not because I’m not worthy enough for you?”

Ha! Xiang Wan’s smile widened and was a little awkward. “I’m the one who’s not worthy. Let’s not talk about your family background, just your situation alone, you’re definitely a great catch. My youngest aunt would certainly pick the most eligible guy for me that would be in line with her values – to have a comfortable life…”

She blinked and laughed. “Frankly, at that point in time, I’m the one who’s not worthy of you. And, more importantly, it’s not that I really want to turn you down. I realized that you wanted to choose me not because you like me but you feel that I’m suitable as a partner for marriage! Cough! So naturally, my subconscious self-protection acts up. I couldn’t take it and it’s my problem.”

“…”

Cheng Zheng didn’t talk for a long time.

This had stayed in his heart for a long time. It was not something that could be solved in an instant.

He asked, “You’re not consoling me right?”

“Am I that kind of person? I’m not someone who would do that.” Xiang Wan looked serious. “We’re now in a precarious situation. I have no reason to lie at all, agree? After all, we don’t even know how long we could stay alive? Aye!”

The mention of that made the topic seem heavy.

This was obviously not what Cheng Zheng wanted.

He heaved a sigh, touched his neck and loosened his collar.

“After hearing you out, I feel more at ease with myself now.”

“Mm?” Xiang Wan was smiling.

“My pride that got trampled by a woman is being picked up by you.” The corners of Cheng Zheng’s lips lifted slightly and looked into her eyes. “Teacher Xiang, you must have put in a lot of effort to learn psychology. You’re great at consoling people. Thank you!”

He still thought that Xiang Wan was consoling him or wanted to thank him for risking his life to save hers, that was why she said that.

As for Xiang Wan…

Half of what she said was true.

“I thank you too.” Xiang Wan had a half-smile on her face. “Well, I’m actually glad to have the chance to talk it out with you. I believe that by telling me how you have been feeling, you have gotten out of it and no longer hate me for it, right?”

Was that really the case?

Cheng Zheng narrowed his eyes slightly and showed a bitter smile.

“Yeah, I am. I now understand some of the things that I previously didn’t.”

“That’s great.” Xiang Wan showed a genuine smile.

“Well, there’s something,” Cheng Zheng paused for a moment to scrutinize Xiang Wan. “But you didn’t have the same… self-protection that you’ve just said towards Bai Muchuan?”

“Of course I do.” Xiang Wan chuckled. “When I got to know him, I also had that kind of mentality.”

“Oh?” Cheng Zheng looked at her, bemused. “But… Why?”

Why did she get together with Bai Muchuan instead?

He didn’t ask his question in full but Xiang Wan knew what he wanted to ask.

“It’s because… there’s a great difference between your character and his.”

At that time, Bai Muchuan and Cheng Zheng were different, at the very least, they were different in her heart. The way Bai Muchuan handled things was much better and open… He was a presence that Xiang Wan admired. He was able to break her ‘self-protection’ spell, make her open up and became brave. If not for him, Xiang Wan would be not where she was now.

Cheng Zheng: “How different?”

He seemed interested but Xiang Wan couldn’t say the truth.

“Maybe… he’s more thick-skinned?”

She raised an eyebrow and looked at Cheng Zheng with a half-smile.

Cheng Zheng broke into a laugh. “That’s true. He’s been like that since young. Whatever he wanted to do, he must complete it. Whatever thing he wanted, he would be really thick-skinned… I still remember that when he wanted a toy figure I had that, he said ‘brother’s the best’ 100 times. Hur, he’s really…”

As Cheng Zheng recalled, he smiled but the expression on his face suddenly froze.

Brother’s the best…

Guess he wouldn’t be able to hear it again.

He couldn’t go back in time with Xiang Wan, as well as with Bai Muchuan.

Xiang Wan detected a slight change in his expression. “Well, I’ve been wondering about your relationship with him. There are a lot of things that I don’t understand. He told me before that he had believed in someone before but got betrayed. He’s referring to you… right?”

Cheng Zheng remained quiet.

Xiang Wan asked him softly, “Why did you both end up like this?”

Cheng Zheng took a look at her. “He never told you before?”

Xiang Wan shook her head.

Cheng Zheng slowly closed his eyes, a hand slowly rotating a finger of his other hand. While he was hesitating and contemplating, his eyebrows formed a troubled frown.

Quite a while later, he puffed a sigh. “After his mom’s death, he was brought back home by my dad… Xiang Wan, you can imagine that his sudden appearance had a great impact on me and my family…”

Cheng Weiji brought back the son that he had with another woman and even expected that his wife would accept and rear that kid like her own.

Well, he had made a request that most women wouldn’t be able to accept.

And true enough, this was something difficult for his wife to accept.

Even if the child was innocent, it was inevitable that she would feel resentment against him.

As for Cheng Zheng…

At this time, Cheng Zheng, who was two years older than Bai Muchuan, what kind of feelings did he go through then? This was something that most parents had neglected… he was still a child and nobody would consider his feelings, much less respect his thoughts and opinions.

“When he first appeared at my house, dad wanted me to let him have my room. It was because he was younger… I still remember that it was winter and I went to sleep in the guest room. I kept feeling that the guest room seemed to be colder and as hardly anyone slept in that room, there was a musty smell… I feel cold and my mom came to give me some blankets. After that, she hugged me and cried bitterly…”