Frictionless tension. Yeah, that’s the best way I could put it. A frictionless tension, taking the familiar route home with Ash in silence.

A nervousness layered with a calmness. A feeling of unease that rang hollow… like there’s a raging thunderstorm inside me that would never once threaten to strike.

I didn’t think it was even possible to feel such a heavy sinking pressure while also simultaneously feeling as light as a feather. 

Familiar landmarks soon began to crop up in the nearing horizon. For some reason, the sight of half-harvested fields was incomplete. Dad should already be there, toiling away at the slightest crack of dawn. He was late, and the sun was only gonna continue to rise higher and higher… so he’s either gonna be very late, or on the other hand, can’t be late if you ain’t never gonna show in the first place.

He doesn’t oversleep, Dad never falls sick, but I do know a certain someone that was deathly prone to fitting into both criteria… still, first time for everything, I’m just gonna hope that Dad won’t be late for too long now.

Another prominent landmark drew close, if only all for the wrong reasons… I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much dread just staring at our Barnhouse, it’s to the point I didn’t even wanna go back inside there… but I had to, I needed to… if only just to assess, to check.

“Ash,” With detouring steps, I shuffled closer and closer to its bolted giant doors, and slowly twisted the lock loose, the rusted hinges slowly swinging itself ajar. “Wait outside for me, okay?” 

The look in her eyes, Ash shared the same aversion as I did, the same dread as she peered her gaze into the dark, foreboding interior beyond, but nevertheless, she relented with a bow, suggesting caution and care with a simple smile. 

I didn’t waste any time to allow my eyes to acclimatize, I went in, hearing the echoes of my feet reverberating, as well as the controlled calm in my voice as I asked the ominous silence, “Are you there?” 

The silence was quick to answer back, a faint movement within the darkness at the furthest edge of the room. 

“That depends,” it said in a husk, feeble, and yet polite whisper. “Who exactly are you calling for?”

I smelt him long before I ever saw him. The smell of accumulated sweat, waste, and rancid leftovers was a pervasive stench that clung to clothes all the way into his skin, and when I did see him, a hunched, slumped silhouette unmoving, Harry barely even resembled a man, more a corpse than anything living.

Futile as it was, I was really holding out hope that someone else would have answered me back, and it wouldn’t be… it wouldn’t be him. Impossible, I know. I guess I’m just getting really tired looking into Harry’s kind face only to find someone else entirely staring right back.

His sunken, hollowed eyes slowly scanned right from left to right, and then as his gaze fell, I realized it wasn’t me he was trying to see.

“Where is Eshlywn? Is she outside?” 

“I’m afraid that’s none of your business.” I immediately said. 

“And I’m afraid you’re wrong about that,” He retorted just as fast. “Still I like to think you know that already, and you’re just trying to be petty. That’s okay, you’ll come to see things my way soon enough.”

Oh, how I wanted so bad to tell just how wrong he was about that. But I knew I shouldn’t. Stooping down to his level wouldn’t do anything, so I tried to ignore all the unpleasantness of the situation, keeping myself composed, asking once more, “How are you doing?” 

“Better, much better,” He replied, a pleasant smile showing stained teeth. “I’m remembering more, feeling myself more… honestly, I’m coming along quite nicely, actually.”

That I could see… unfortunately.

“How far along are you?”

“You can’t tell?” He crooked his eyes. “Or are you just ignoring how I sound, how I’m behaving? Don’t I remind you of him? of me? I know I can leave quite the impression on people. I’m at the finish line, so close to reaching… just a little more, I just need a little more time.”

“I see.” 

“Oh, you don’t sound too happy to hear that,” Harry remarked, his comforting elderly voice distorted to his skewed tones. “Can’t imagine why, you’re the one making this happen, after all. In the end, it’s you I have to thank, right? You saved me from being killed by the Succubus, the Matriarch, even from your dear darling Mother, Terestra… honestly, if we had met differently, and if it weren’t for the fact you’re the offspring of that omnipotent whore, I think I would have genuinely wanted you as a friend. Like that girl Amanda, she was a nice friend to me too.” 

Read between the lines, he was trying to get a rise outta me. Don’t let him, you didn’t come here to fight him. Just check on him.

“You didn’t eat your food last night,” I pointed out, looking down at my feet at a tray of food teeming with ants and flies. 

“Why would I?” In the darkness, I saw him lurch forward, suddenly wheezing and coughing, each sounding more weakly than the last. “A weaker body, a weaker soul, a stronger me in the end.” 

“Not if he dies first,” I said to him, hearing him collect himself with faint breaths. “What good are you to yourself if he’s dead?”

“No, no,” Harry feebly shook his head, his stare plunging to the ground, his head too heavy to even lift anymore. “See, I’m not gonna die, I won’t let myself die. I have too much to live for. I’ll survive. I’ll be me, and once I am… he said he’ll come for me when I’m me.”

“And you really think I’m just gonna let you take over Harry completely?” I asked, my disdain unable to be suppressed. 

“But you are,” He stated, smiling amusedly despite the strain. “You are, aren’t you? Come on, we’ve been through this before, you won’t kill me.”

“You don’t know that completely.”

“Maybe, right, I don’t know, true. I’m just hoping, the same as you. Except unlike you, I’ve already seen you choke on the choice twice. You refused then, you’ll refuse still. Maybe you’ll tell yourself you won’t, maybe you’re confident you won’t choke, that you’ll have the resolve when it comes down to it, but tell me… do you know that yourself completely? 

Still trying to provoke a reaction, it’s like he lives and breathes just for the sole purpose of pissing me the fuck off.

“Guess we’ll see, won’t we? If it comes to that,” I said coolly. “Or maybe we won’t. I’m thinking we won’t.” 

Harry gave a breathy wheezing chuckle at that. “Yeah, we’ll see…” He whispered, his body swaying threatening to collapse. “In the meantime, go on, shoo, go do what you think is right… I’ll just be here, sitting, knowing that I am.” 

“You think this is right?” I asked, feeling my brows furrow. “What you’re doing to this man, that’s what you think is right? A global blightfall, what part of any of that is right to you?” 

“I don’t know what you want from me. You want to be regretful, is that it?” Harry scoffed. “To lament over everything I’ve done, I won’t. Everything I’ve done, everything I wlll do, it’s all for getting it back. I’ll have it all back again.” 

“Have what back?” 

“Everything,” He said. “Everything I’ve lost, everything your bitch of a mother took from me. I’ll get it all back.” 

The way he spoke, so enfeebled, so weak, yet brimming with so much resolve, with determination. It was unnerving. But he’s never spoken this much about his intentions before, I need to keep him talking, I need to know more.

“How?” I asked quietly. “Your realm’s already gone. I don’t like it as much as you do, but your world’s destroyed.” 

“Is it now? Don’t think I’ve noticed that?” Harry looked me in the eye, mustering the last of his strength to even do so, to form a smile one last time. “But hey, guess we’ll just have to see about that too then.” 

I really, really do not like the way he spoke.

“Jay,” I called him. “Just what is it are you planning to do?” 

“I’m already doing it, you see,” He said, gasping for breath. “As you waste your time with me, as you waste your energy, I’m out there… doing what must be done, doing what is right.” 

“Cut the bullshit, stop preaching the good word,” I said, a little annoyed now. “Just tell me you’re really doing.”

Really, I didn’t know what I expected pressing him. Like he was just gonna unveil his master plan so easily to me. I already tried, every time I talked to him, whether it was him, or the real him, he always refused to let me in on his grand scheme… 

And this time, seeing his eyes slowly flutter close, it was no different.

“You’ll see,” He murmured, a small smile lingering on his expression as his consciousness ebbed away.. “In time, my friend, you’ll see.”