Eager to see where that extra mile will take me, she says… with a dash of wonder, a hint of optimism, and just a pinch of support in that pondering statement to me.

Talking was exhausting, I could see it in her eyes, even if she never shows it, and she’d already reached somewhat of a limit… I should let her rest.

“I’m gonna go now,” I said, careful not to bounce the bed as I rose up to my feet. “Back to work…”

“Shame you can’t stay and keep your mother company like you used to,” She said with an overtly sorrowful sigh. “My darling son finally returns home, and I barely have the chance to spend any time with him.”

Obviously, she was joking, but there’s rarely ever any humor without a touch of truth, that smile of hers pretty much says it all.

“There aren’t any new romance movies lately either,” She remarked, genuinely disappointed now. “But maybe we could just rewatch a favorite if you’re free.”

I grunted a non-answer, taking a step back towards the door. “Maybe next time.”

“Ah, next time,” Another sigh, another smile, watching as I twist open the handle, and step out into the hallway.  “You better, or I’ll just have to replace you with Adalia as my new movie-watching partner.”

Speaking of Adalia…

I glanced at the pitch darkness lurking in the corner of the room, “Keep an eye on her for me, will you?”

The darkness shifted, nodded. 

“I will… be… here…” spoke a faint whisper from seemingly nowhere. “I will… stay…”

“Thanks.”

“Do your… best…” This time, I saw it again. Those gray murky dots staring stagnant in the dark, staring at me in a way that vaguely resembled fondness. “Please… don’t hurt… too… much…”

Frankly, I’d prefer it if I didn’t have to hurt myself at all, but in any case…

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

After closing the door and barely sounding a creak, I made my way downstairs again, only to find the snobbish slob of the stairs nowhere to be seen, along with Ash… but a quick sniff of the air, revealed a sizzling, mouthwatering trail of bacon leading into the kitchen.

I let my nose guide me, and turning the corner, I quickly managed to find them both. 

Sammy pulled up a chair at the kitchen table, wolfing down the contents on a plate left only with crumbs, meanwhile on apron duty, Ash was busy slaving away at stoveside, meticulously perfecting her second or maybe third serving of breakfast.

Oh, this girl… the literal flesh and bone incarnate of laziness.

“Sammy, you’re a big, big girl already, aren’t you?” I called out to her, staring somber. “I taught you how to cook for yourself like a thousand times.”

She paused, cheeks bulging like a squirrel in striped pajamas, looking over at me with bright blue squirrely eyes. 

“Well, she’s the bigger girl, ain’t she? Probably by a good century or two at least,” She replied, downing her meal with a gulp of orange. “Besides, with cooking skills like hers, why the hell squander it? She’s miles better than you.”

The day an instance comes where my little sister does not belittle me every chance she gets will be a glorious day indeed. Till then, I guess I’ll just have to bear with it, clinging to pallid hope for that fateful day.

Quietly, smiling sweetly, Ash handed me a plate of my own, a sandwich consisting of all my favorite pieces and condiments, before settling down onto the table herself, eagerly shaking the contents of a box of cereal down onto a bowl in front of her. 

“I am more than happy to put my skills to use, especially if it is to yours or Lady Samantha’s delight,” She said, before nudging her head at me, her ears twitching once. “So eat, Master. I sense you’ve a long day ahead of you, haven’t you? It is vital you do not expend yourself too much.” 

“Mmm, speaking of expending…” Sammy mumbled, smacking her lips. “How’s, um… Mom, is she doing alright up there? Heard her coughing again, made me wonder.” 

So indifferent, so unbothered the way she asked about her… and yet even so, somehow, try as she might, she utterly failed at concealing her apprehension, her worry. Impressively enough, she’s almost as terrible a liar as I am. 

“Oh, y’know,” I responded, shrugging, taking a bite of my sandwich. “She is how she is. Good ol’ Mom.” 

I was nearly overwhelmed by the explosion of flavor in my mouth, I nearly missed her little begrudging eye-roll towards me. “You know what I mean.” 

“Don’t I?” I mused, taking another bite. “Like you’d be at all satisfied if I tell you she’s doing fine. Why don’t you try taking a peek through the keyhole? If you’re sneaky enough, I’m sure she won’t catch you caring for her at all.” 

Not too sure if she’d take my advice to heart, but I couldn’t waste too much time worrying over family disputes at the moment. As soon as I was done with breakfast, I was out at the front lawn again, slowly lapping the house a fair few times as I prepared myself for the rigorous task ahead.

As she proclaimed, Ash kept a fair distance away, over yonder beneath the shade of a nearby tree, completely out of sight, but never out of mind… her mere presence a constant funnel of support and encouragement. 

I let my hand drift across the air, didn’t have to exert as much now… barely any focus, I could feel a ripple in my palm, the surface of my fingers… I was getting there, steadily, eventually… but just not quick enough, unfortunately. 

My first attempt of the day started just as the clock struck half-past ten. It was a promising start, the moment I raised both arms, already I could feel the air pushing right back at me. I hit a wall around five minutes in, which was normal – this was where I always stuck at, and this was where I would always try to force it.

Just a little more energy, a little more focus, and my hands sunk a slight inch deeper. A little more, and a little deeper again, with muscles tensing, cramping, slowly, gradually, it was almost like clockwork – so many hours invested, countless valiant attempts foiled, I knew just what to expect by now.

And I knew just what to expect next.

Deeper again, a push rippling the invisible, that sturdy wall slightly giving in, but as with every try, it refused to go without a fight – it pushed back, a million, billion jagged hands pushing back against mine, a relentless pricking sensation, stabbing, rending, burrowing itself deep into my fingertips, my palms, the pain surging from within. 

This was it, now I understood what this was, this pain… Mom’s constant agony. Jolting, searing, like being sliced apart by electric knives, like being lit ablaze by fire that wouldn’t smother, this was her pain, every second. This was… tolerable… this was… manageable.

It has to be.

Something squeaked inside me, my teeth, grinding each other to dust, heavy breaths turning to hiss, every exhale sputtering spit. Before, I would have pulled my arms away long before I got to this point, resigned myself to another failed attempt… but not this time, as much as I could, my fingers writhing from the million billion intangible cuts, I pushed on even more, that mantra in my head – focus, determination, intent. 

The wall rippled again, I could feel it dent, but all the same, I sensed an even sturdier layer beneath, a more ferocious defense determined to keep me at bay. It pushed back again – almost in unison, a single wave, a billion all at once, skewering, tearing, slicing, everywhere, everything, and I – 

I fell. 

The next thing I knew, I was fluttering my eyes wide open to the skies, gasping for breath I didn’t even know I lost, wanting to puke, wanting to faint, doing all I can to keep myself from the verge of it.

I can’t believe it. Was this seriously what Mom was experiencing? This pain, this sensation? And much more at that? How? I could hardly last a minute from it, and so easily she could smile despite it… for years and years… and I’m supposed to get used to this in less than a day’s worth of time?

It’s impossible…

Insanity.

“Master,” I blinked once, and Ash stared at me, her green eyes wrought with worry. “Can you move? Can you sit up?” 

I couldn’t, I didn’t have to check, I just knew. Every nerve was aflame in agony, every muscle refusing to untense – but despite it, I moved. I pulled myself up, doing my utmost to control my breath. 

“I can, I can…” I responded hoarsely, keeping my gaze to the ground, trying to keep a semblance of control. “I’m fine, I’m fine…” 

“Are you sure?” She asked, quietly. 

Briefly, my eyes glanced over at her, and there was reluctance, hesitation, a growing urge in her expression she was trying to hide. The desire to interject, to interrupt, this single instance, and she couldn’t bear seeing anymore – with firm resolve, she kept all suppressed. 

I breathed out again, clenching and unclenching my fingers. “I am now. I’m fine.” 

That worry remained, that desire lingered, but all the same, Ash stood up, and slowly, she stepped back. “Very well.” 

Once more, with a little bit of struggle, I got back into position, both arms raised forward in front of me again.

Don’t hurt too much, Adalia said… keep that in mind…

We’ll try this again…