Chapter 32

“Yes……”

I glanced at Kwanach. The redness of his face was getting worse. I was afraid he was going to collapse.

His lips wavered for a long time, then he finally spoke up.

“Did you sleep well last night?”

He tried his best to find a suitable topic. But I just froze again. I didn’t sleep well at all.

Should I lie to lighten the mood?

Or should I be frank that I didn’t go to sleep until dawn, and that I just tossed and turned in the big empty bed because he didn’t come?

It seemed that Kwanach had already heard everything I said in front of Jaxor. The shame of being beaten once is no match for the shame of being beaten twice. I felt a surge of courage that I wouldn’t normally have.

“No, I did not sleep well.”

Kwanach flinched his thick shoulders at my answer. He spoke in a slightly more aggressive tone than before.

“Why? Were you not feeling well?”

“… you didn’t come…….”

“What?”

Kwanach looked at me with a tense, stiff face.

“Why didn’t you come? I’ve been waiting for you. I waited until past midnight. The bed was wide and cold. Are you angry with me? Is it a lot?”

I tried to draw out some of my true feelings, and then it was easy. Words poured out constantly.

I was a little out of breath as I spoke at an uncharacteristic speed. The shame of whining like a child came belatedly.

I bit my lip and sullenly let the heat flood my face. I knew I had said something useless. I was just about to ask him to forget it.

The hardened Kwanach pulled me into his arms with a murky breath.

“Oh Usphere.”

He hugged me tightly. I nuzzled my face into his chest.

Kwanach lowered his head and kissed my head. Eventually, I heard a locked voice.

“No, I’m not angry. It is because I am an ugly and clumsy man.”

“Why do you say that when you’re not?”

It was the one word I could say in my own way, though my voice was muffled by being trapped in Kwanach’s chest.

Diaquit, whom I contacted this morning, Jaxor whom I met earlier, and now even Kwanach himself. Why was everyone so nervous that they couldn’t bring down Kwanach?

I didn’t like it. I may have been intimidated because I was in front of Jaxor, but my feelings for Kwanach were sincere.

“…… I’m sure you’ve heard it all…..what I said earlier.”

Kwanach’s ribcage shook violently, but no answer was heard. I lifted my face from his chest and looked at him.

Once again, I could feel the difference in size between me and Kwanach. As he gave his arms more strength, I seemed to be unable to breathe under the weight of his hard muscles.

I bent my neck quite a bit and asked him again.

“Did you hear or not?”

It was only then that Kwanach replied, flinching his eyes.

“Yes…..I heard you.”

“Did I say you were ugly to me?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Then?”

“I’m sorry….”

Kwanach’s face was bright red. His pitch-black pupils wavered as he faced me.

His heart was beating very fast. The sound of his intense heartbeat shook my ears.

This man must have a heart twice as big as the rest of us. His chest was loud and hot.

“You …… I don’t always know what to do with you….”

Kwanach mumbled in a loud voice and leaned my waist back without warning.

I was struck by the illusion of a huge body leaning towards me. Before long, Kwanach’s hot, firm lips engulfed me.

“Ah……”

His firm arms supported my back. A hot tongue penetrated my lips.

A gentle heat rose up from the depths of my stomach all at once. It was overwhelming, as it always was, but today was the only time it was a happy heat.

I struggled to follow the kiss with my hands gently on Kwanach’s chest.

Kwanach sucked in my saliva like a thirsty man. My mouth tingled from too much ravaging.

The short-lived kiss ended, and Kwanach slowly straightened me up. I breathed heavily, and said with moist, red lips.

“It’s …… hot.”

“Yes……”

Kwanach coughed and said in a low voice.

“I thought you were angry with me when I said I didn’t want you to develop the drug.”

“I’m not angry, I’m just a little sad.”

“I know you have a good heart.”

His face was stained with guilt. Nevertheless, he never uttered permission to develop a drug.

It was then that a good idea suddenly occurred to me.

“Um, Kwanach…… If you’re worried that I might get involved in a conflict of interest, why don’t we proceed in complete secrecy?”

“In secret?”

“We don’t circulate the sclerosis drug in the name of the imperial family, we’ll make it anonymously. It won’t increase the support of the imperial family right now, but it will help the people.”

I didn’t take a break from my words, but took a step back and looked at Kwanach’s face.

“Of course, that is if you agree and Simon and I succeed in developing the medicine.”

Kwanach stared at me. His arms were still holding my back.

“Do you think you can make it?”

“I can’t be sure, but I’d like to try.”

“I don’t know.”

Kwanach seemed to be shaking. He was less decisive than before. I moved my hands, excited and impatient, and grabbed onto his shoulders.

“Can we?”

Kwanach bit his lips and said.

“Yes.”

“Are you giving me permission?”

While my voice grew louder and higher, Kwanach said in an even more bitterly low voice.

“Permission. I beg your pardon……. I can’t believe you asked me for permission.”

“Because you’re the Emperor. Of course.”

Kwanach sighed a long sigh and hugged me. My head sank into his chest. His large palms wrapped around me, caressing back.

Kwanach murmured in a murky voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know why you’re apologizing again, but then it’s been resolved, hasn’t it? Are you coming tonight….?”

“Did you miss me?”

I was embarrassed, but I didn’t want to run away now. I nodded my head in Kwanach’s embrace.

“I don’t know many people here yet. You, that’s why you have to be there for me. …….”

I wondered if I should speak so frankly. I was ashamed of myself, but I wasn’t afraid to reveal my true feelings in front of Kwanach.

Unlike his fierce impression, Kwanach was a man who gave me a sense of stability as we got along. His great embrace hid me  completely, and his kindness fully embraced me.

He kissed my hair twice and said in a low voice,

“Yes. I will always be there for you.”

In a determined voice.

* * * *

Kwanach opened the map of the Imperial Palace design in his office. He took  Usphere back  after the chance encounter in the greenhouse garden.

He was lost in deep thought.

In order for Usphere and Simon to secretly produce a drug for sclerosis, they needed a secluded place. If the two of them met often enough in public, word would certainly get out.

That was  when he came up with the idea of the secret passageway that he had built when he designed the Imperial Palace.

Of course, he wasn’t going to leave Usphere alone with the man, so he was going to make sure he attended to it as well.

Kwanach wrapped the map around him and placed his large hand on his forehead. He had many things to process, but his mind was dizzy from all the complicated thoughts from earlier.

It was because of Usphere’s words that he had overheard. They were scrambling his mind.

“I have great respect and care for you, Your Majesty.”

“This way we can help the people.”

These were the words that came out of her beautiful lips. The more he thought about it, the more swollen his heart became.

He always thought Usphere hated this marriage. It was an unfamiliar homeland that she came to be sold under the nomenclature of marriage alliance. Furthermore, her husband was of lowly birth.

It was greed and ignorance that desired her heart, he thought. But Kwanach has always accomplished what the world has said was presumptuous.

Kwanach remembered it clearly. It was the first time he met her, the first time he desired her heart that should not have been desired by a despicable slave.

Since that day, he asked around, calling out to everyone around him.

“What do I have to do to marry the princess of a country?”

“Marry a princess? What are you talking about? The princess will marry the prince. We live by licking the toes of those humans.”

He couldn’t be a prince.

Kwanach did not even know his father’s name. All he knew for sure was that his father was not the king.

There was only one way left, then.

He would have to become king himself.

Kwanach sighed and clenched his fist. He wanted to put that angelic woman in his grip. Usphere came this far without knowing his ugly desire.

He swore that he would understand and endure even if she hated him.

‘But, you …….’

Instead of disliking him, she just wrapped him in her kindness. It was easy to dislike a strange land, but rather than that, she showed a more resolute and compassionate ruler.

Seeing this, Kwanach thought that Usphere was more suitable for the emperor’s throne, for he who had won the throne through his own personal desires was only shiny on the surface, but empty inside.

Usphere Catatel Radon was a strong and perceptive person, despite appearances.

But sometimes he couldn’t help his anxious mind, and yesterday he showed his ugly side to Usphere.

When he closed his eyes, he remembered the past vividly.

The origin of his anxiety, the beginning of that miserable time.

The arrow that flew in the carriage, the drooping body with an arrow stuck in its chest, the white dress stained red……

Kwanach shook his head as if to shake off the afterimage of the tragedy.

‘No, this time……I’ve taken care of everything this time. She’s not going to die…I’ll never that happen.’

Kwanach’s hand began to cramp slightly. His thoughts drifted in fragments. It was like the devil whispering in his ear.

“Are you sure about this? Do you think you can protect her? You’ve already failed once.”

“No.”

Kwanach closed and opened his eyes with a gloomy glaze. His shaking eyes were filled with a cold determination.

The pen snapped in his hand with a strong force. The sharp remnants of the broken pen dug into his skin, causing a small abrasion.

Blood streaked across his palm, but Kwanach didn’t moan once, silently staring at his blood. Then he reminded himself once more.

“In this life, I will protect her. By any means necessary, even if it means having this hand painted with countless amounts of blood.”

****

*Oh my gosh, such a great chapter. Kwanach knew about the past!!!!