Professional Substitute – The Past – YanMingXiu’s POV 2

The world is so vast… ZhouXiang disappeared from then on. Everyone thought that ZhouXiang is dead. But as long has he didn’t see ZhouXiang’s corpse, his heart held onto that glimmer of hope. This hope is like the sparks of fire in his heart. The more the sparks accumulates, the thicker it is, and it is only waiting for the day to start a prairie fire.

He entered into an unprecedented hopeless predicament. Under the unfathomable uncertainly of whether ZhouXiang is dead or alive, with nobody able to provide him with a definitive answer to this question, he became manically depressed. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink, and couldn’t sleep. He felt that the sky above his head had collapsed.

This man (ZhouXiang), whom he had never paid attention to… this man whom he thought would continue to stay by his side without needing him to put in much effort…after he (ZhouXiang) had completely disappeared is when he (YanMingXiu) realized how important this person (ZhouXiang) was to himself.

He began to remember every little bit of his past memories with ZhouXiang, repeating over and over again, not missing any details. In fact, he even tirelessly tried to recall every word that ZhouXiang said, his expression when he said it. The more he remembered, the more he felt ZhouXiang’s goodness and the more he felt his heart cracking.

During that time, it didn’t matter whether it was day or night. Every single moment was endless despair. He really wished that he could open his eyes and find that it was all but a nightmare. He only needed to reach his hand out and could touch ZhouXiang’s warm body. He will turn his body over and embrace him tightly…this time, he will definitely not let go.

He was really willing to give up everything that he has, only if ZhouXiang could stand in front of him healthily.

He felt that his life is over.

He didn’t understand how a person (himself) could be stupid to such an extent to have only come to the realization of someone so important and precious to him after he had irreparably lost him (ZhouXiang).

Why did it have to wait till after he could no longer find ZhouXiang for him to dare admit that he had unknowingly fallen for ZhouXiang, that he had already gotten use to ZhouXiang being a fixture in his world. He had already regarded ZhouXiang as a part of his life that could not be separated.

It is all too late.

All that he now understood and what he had to endure in the future have no practical meaning…because no matter how painful and hopeless he is, ZhouXiang would never know. No matter how remorseful he is, he had no way to turn back time.

He even wanted to disappear along with ZhouXiang, as long as he could go to where ZhouXiang is now, this is also a good thought.

He didn’t know how many days of uttered darkness passed. He could no longer feel the passage of time or any changes around him. His heart is already dead. What is the meaning of everything in the outside world?

Unable to determine how much time had passed, a monk appeared in front of him.

During this lengthy period of time, a lot of people came and went around him. He felt a bit weak but he couldn’t hear their voices nor see their faces. He didn’t want to hear nor did he want to see, but the appearance of this monk clearly appeared in his mind. The voice of this monk is like the sunrise passing through the dense fog, penetrating his ears.

He knew this monk. This person is his brother’s master, JiKong Master. He has seen him once. He is an extremely wise person.

A thought came to his mind at this time.

When it is impossible to find ZhouXiang through any scientific or theoretical means, he began to depend on supernatural or religious powers. He thought that maybe this monk has a way, maybe there is really a….

JiKong Master didn’t do much. After sitting down, he merely said softly, “He is not dead.”

Just this sentence alone is enough to make him crazy. He rushed toward JiKong Master. He couldn’t speak. His throat painfully felt as if it was burning, not being able to utter a single sound. He could only glare fixedly at this grand master, requesting him to continue.

JiKong Master touched his beads, his voice natural, “He is not dead, nor is he alive. I have been entrusted by your brother and can only tell you this much. Do what you need to do. Make the best of it.”

He gripped tightly onto JiKong Master’s clothes, getting emotionally choked up. He does not understand what, “Not dead, nor is he alive” meant. But he believes… he believes that ZhouXiang is not dead. He had always believed that ZhouXiang is not dead, and now that he got confirmation from one other person, he is definitely more convinced.

He didn’t care what “nor is he alive” meant. Even if ZhouXiang is in a vegetative state, he still must find him. As long as ZhouXiang is not dead, as long as he can still feel ZhouXiang’s body temperature, or even a bit of the clothes he’s wearing… it is enough for him.

As long as ZhouXiang is not dead!

He will use all the patience in his life to find and wait for ZhouXiang. ZhouXiang is alive. ZhouXiang is not dead. ZhouXiang will not leave him. As long as he is willing to wait, ZhouXiang will one day return to him.

He started to be enlivened day after day.

His older brother brought him back to Beijing and stayed with him for two months. He finally became completely “normal” for a bit. As for making his brother worried about him for more than three months, it wasn’t that he didn’t feel guilty. Even though he remained dispirited most days and have completely lost his soul, he still appeared to be “normal” in front of his older brother.

After his older brother left feeling a bit relief, he contacted a friend whom had opened an entertainment company and told the friend that he wanted to take on filming roles and advertisements, that he wanted to be a star.

His friend was very shocked. The friend couldn’t understand why he would do that, but at the same time, he was unexpectedly pleased.

His thought was very simple. He wanted to make himself more famous, the more famous the better. He wanted ZhouXiang to be able to see him on TV no matter where he (ZhouXiang) is in the world.

Even if ZhouXiang hated him and is not willing to reconcile with him, as long as he appears day after day, perhaps ZhouXiang will change his mind. If ZhouXiang is alive, he will definitely return to his side one day.

He must be persistent on this, and wait for ZhouXiang’s return. This is the biggest motivation supporting him.

Although on those days without ZhouXiang, he is deeply immersed in yearning and remorse. The pain is endless, but he can’t collapse. ZhouXiang is not dead. ZhouXiang can’t be dead. One day he will surely come back. He must wait until that day. Because that day exist, it is worthy for him to painfully endure and continue to live on without ZhouXiang.

He began to frantically take on advertising and commercial activities. His family and friends could not understand his intentions but he didn’t need anyone to understand. He only needed one person to be able to see him in every corners of the world.

One year passed … two years passed.

There was still no news of ZhouXiang. He didn’t know how he endured the more than seven hundred days and nights. This far away immeasurable hope is the only driving force supporting him.

In this world, it’s likely that he is the only person that still stubbornly insisted that ZhouXiang is not dead. He didn’t know where this perseverance came from but he firmly believes that as long as his heart is still beating, he will believe that ZhouXiang is not dead.

One day, his schedule couldn’t be adjusted and he had to shoot an advertisement at 7:00 in the evening. When he walked into the shooting location, the moment the elevator opened, a man stood in front of his eyes.

The person was an ordinary man. Normally he would not take a second look at someone looking so ordinary. But when the two men are standing not more than two meters apart, his heart felt an inexplicable huge shock… as if there is something with this person that is stopping him from going forward, desperately pulling him in at the same time. When their eyes collided, his entire body could not move from this electrical shock, his heart becoming excruciatingly painful, so painful that he could hardly stand still.

This person’s expression, he can’t describe it thus far. This expression is far too deep, too depressing, as if there is endless sadness and suffering. The influence of this mournful emotion is so great that it literally rendered him motionless. He could pass through this invisible barrier and feel this person’s pain, at the same time, he actually felt even more painful.

Who is this person!

Why does his entire body feel so unsettled! This apparent striking familiarity is like an invisible hand, tightly gripping onto his throat. At this very moment, he thought of the person who had made him felt such agonizing excruciating pain that he wished he was dead – ZhouXiang.

Their eyes interlocked but it was just a matter of a moment. And then, the person walked past him.

He grabbed the man almost without thinking.

“Who are you?” he asked gritting his teeth.

“Who exactly are you?!”