Chapter 35 I’ll Tell You Now

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Xia Feng seldom left work on time, but tonight he had the rare opportunity to leave early. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t wait to see Yu Dong, so he drove to her radio station and listened to her broadcast.

As Yu Dong said her closing remarks, Xia Feng’s eyes kept straying towards the building doors. Finally, he saw Yu Dong walking out with a scarf around her neck.

“Yu Dong!” Xia Feng got out of his car and waved at Yu Dong with a smile.

At first, Yu Dong looked around cautiously, but when she realized that it was Xia Feng, she ran towards him.

“How come you’re here?” Yu Dong asked.

“I just felt that I haven’t picked you up in a while.” Xia Feng adjusted Yu Dong’s scarf that had become undone due to her haste.

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“I drive myself to work every night, why do I need you to pick me up?” Yu Dong laughed.

“But I want to!” Perhaps it was because of the dim lighting, but Yu Dong felt that Xia Feng’s eyes looked very gentle tonight.

Yu Dong didn’t know if it was the way Xia Feng looked at her, or if this atmosphere was lacking ambiguity, but she became somewhat uncomfortable. She lowered her head, scuffing the ground with her shoes.

A woman’s feelings were strange. When they don’t like someone they can boldly flirt with the person, but with someone they like, they would get nervous and shy.

Yu Dong had started to care about Xia Feng, so she began to overthink things.

She began to like Xia Feng more and more, if one day this relationship doesn’t meet her expectations, she would be devastated. Yu Dong had long been worried about this.

But she never thought about this idea for very long, as she felt uneasy at the mere thought of it.

So like in her previous life, she would exhaust all her strength so that she wouldn’t have the energy to think such depressing thoughts.

Yu Dong truly didn’t want to be pessimistic, she didn’t want to lose Xia Feng, didn’t want to treat him as an objective. She just wanted to be happy with him.

“What are you thinking of?” Xia Feng lightly knocked on Yu Dong’s head.

“Ah…” Yu Dong raised her head, and her round eyes were bright. “I’m not thinking of anything.”

“Then what are you doing with your head down?” Xia Feng obviously didn’t believe such an obvious lie.

“I was laughing.”

Xia Feng looked at her, puzzled.

Yu Dong smiled and said: “You came to pick me up so I’m happy. But I don’t want you to know and find out that I’m so easily flattered.”

“You…” Xia Feng couldn’t help but laugh. He took Yu Dong’s hands and asked, “Are you feeling cold?”

Yu Dong shook her head.

“Let’s go take a walk!” Xia Feng said.

Yu Dong was a little surprised at this but she didn’t refuse; Xia Feng must have something he wanted to say.

The streets were quiet, they were particularly empty at this early hour. Occasionally, a taxi would pass by them, deliberately slowing down to see if they needed a cab.

Xia Feng, holding Yu Dong’s hand, walked along the straight road aimlessly.

“I haven’t gone out walking like this for a long time.” Xia Feng suddenly said. “It’s so quiet!”

“Do you like the silence?” Yu Dong asked.

“It feels calm!” Xia Feng thought that he could somewhat enjoy this kind of tranquility.

“But I don’t like it very much.” Yu Dong looked at the distant neon signs, her voice a little bleak, “It makes me feel lonely.”

She didn’t know why, but at this moment Yu Dong felt a heavy sense of desolation. She felt like a lost bird, trying to find its way home, like a wanderer who had been away for a long time.

Tightening his hold on Yu Dong’s hand, Xia Feng turned towards her and said,  “I’ll accompany you.”

“Un!” It might’ve been because her past life was tainting her current emotions, but Yu Dong’s answer was somewhat strained.

“Today the hospital asked us to submit the duty sheet for the upcoming New Year’s holiday.” Xia Feng changed the topic, “I’m not going to be on duty this year.”

Yu Dong brightened at this. “Then you can relax and rest.”

“Yeah!” Xia Feng nodded, then asked her carefully, “So…can we take this chance and visit my father-in-law and mother-in-law?”

Yu Dong froze at this. Her eyes widened in shock and there was some joy, but her expression also held a complex look as she gazed at Xia Feng.

“What’s wrong?” Xia Feng asked softly, “Are you unwilling?”

Yu Dong hurriedly shook her head. “I’ve been waiting for you to take the initiative and mention this yourself.”

This time it was Xia Feng’s turn to be stunned. He was a little guilty as he told Yu Dong: “Sorry, I was being incompetent, I should have asked earlier.”

Yu Dong shook his head again.

“If I forget important things like this in the future, you must remind me.” Xia Feng said.

“I don’t think you’ve properly thought this through!” Yu Dong said. After all, they didn’t get married because they fell in love. Yu Dong wasn’t sure Xia Feng’s feelings for her had reached this level of intimacy.

Properly thought this through? He had always thought that any misgivings he had during the early days of their relationship were well-hidden. Xia Feng now realized that Yu Dong had actually known about them the whole time and simply didn’t pressure him.

Yes, she had always been mindful to the feelings of the people around her; trying to do what she wants to do but never forcing her ideals unto others.

“Yu Dong, you know…is there anything you want to ask me?” Xia Feng held both of Yu Dong’s hands and looked at her in the eye.

Perhaps his warm hands tightly holding hers gave her the necessary courage.

“You…do you like me?” Yu Dong asked, her eyes stormy.

Ever since Yu Dong realized that she really liked Xia Feng, she had become more and more afraid to ask this question. If he answered no, Yu Dong can no longer stay at his side.

She was so afraid that she would end up experiencing her past life again.

Her rebirth made Yu Dong’s body younger, but her soul was still scarred by 10 years’ worth of loneliness. Sometimes, as a person grows older, they become more and more fragile!

“Look at me!” Xia Feng lifted Yu Dong’s face with both hands. The lights of the distant neon signs were reflected in Yu Dong’s eyes.

“I like you!” Xia Feng said earnestly, “I admit that I’ve been confused, surprised, and even worried at times, but you…you’re a girl people can’t help but like.”

“You’re only 22 years old, you’re supposed to be having the time of your life. But I can’t understand why I feel such heartache for you, especially when I come home and find you asleep on the sofa with all the lights on, curled up into a tight ball.”

The neon reflected in Yu Dong’s eyes blurred as she burst into tears. She felt that her lonely wandering soul had finally found a warm harbor.

“Don’t cry!” Xia Feng said in a panic, his hands trying to wipe away her tears. It was no use though, the more tears he swept away, the more they fell and he had no other choice but to bring Yu Dong into his arms.

Originally her tears were just for Xia Feng, but as she leaned on his shoulder, she cried for love, for loneliness, for the past 10 years of fruitlessly waiting.

There will always be people in this world who cling to the idea of true love. To believe that somewhere out there, a person made for them is looking too.

So Yu Dong waited year after year, looking for her other half. Many years were lost, yet she still didn’t find that person. Through the loneliness and the criticism, as she grew older, she continued to wait, alone.

“Well, I guess just let it all out!” Xia Feng eventually gave up on coaxing Yu Dong and just let her vent.

Xia Feng didn’t actually know why Yu Dong suddenly cried so hard, but he wanted to be with her and hold her as she did so.

Yu Dong didn’t know how long she cried. She felt as if she had returned to the day she was reborn, having cried so hard she felt dehydrated and faint.

After letting all those emotions out, Yu Dong was embarrassed, eyes red like a shy rabbit.

“Your face is swollen!” Xia Feng’s face showed an obvious fondness.

“Swollen and beautiful!” Yu Dong’s voice was still rough from crying.

“Yes, you’re the prettiest!” Xia Feng indulged her as he took her hand again. “Let’s go back!”

“Wait a minute! I have something to tell you,” Yu Dong held Xia Feng back.

“Yes?” Xia Feng stopped, turning back to Yu Dong.

“You should know that I like you!” Yu Dong blushed at her words, but she firmly continued, “I like you too. I wanted to tell you.”

From Yu Dong’s past actions this was obvious to Xia Feng, but this sentence, when said so resolutely, still made his heart tremble.

This wasn’t the first time Xia Feng had kissed Yu Dong, but at this moment, he desired this like never before. It was if they could reach the deepest parts of the other’s heart through tender lips and lingering tounges.

At this silent street, past the bare trees and dim streetlights, this kissing couple was the last thing that could be seen that night.

It’s easy to accept someone else’s love for you because their feelings are their own.

But your own love is much harder to grasp because you know exactly how you feel.

(T/N: She’s saying other people’s feelings isn’t up to her, but dealing with your own feelings is way harder because you know exactly how much you love someone?)

Human beings are the simplest, yet most complex being in the world. They can easily compromise yet are also very persistent.

But no matter what, I hope you have, or will have the happiness everyone deserves!

……..

On the way home, Yu Dong fell asleep. Perhaps all that crying tired her out.

Xia Feng stared at the road ahead, his thoughts filled with nothing but a crying Yu Dong.

It seems that Yu Dong has a past that didn’t quite fit her young age. Her tears didn’t come from frustration or any lovesickness.

It came from a mentality that could only be built from years of experience.

I don’t know what hurt you, but from now on, I’ll be here to protect you.

Xia Feng gently carried Yu Dong out of the passenger seat. The change in temperature had Yu Dong unconsciously burrowing into Xia Feng’s arms. He held her a little tighter as he slowly walked towards the elevator.

When he got to their front door, Xia Feng found that he couldn’t open the door with Yu Dong in his arms. He didn’t want to put Yu Dong down, so he could only wake her up.

“Yu Dong.” Xia Feng gently called out.

“Un~” Yu Dong’s eyes were still unfocused as she asked: “Are we home yet?”

“We’re here, come lean against me, I need to open the door.” Xia Feng said.

Yu Dong instead shuffled around, taking the key from Xia Feng’s pocket, saying: “I”ll open it!”

Xia Feng carried Yu Dong into her bedroom, safely tucking her in.

As he fixed her blanket, he sees Yu Dong looking at him so Xia Feng smiled and said: “Go ahead and sleep.”

“Xia Feng, I suddenly feel a sense of belonging.” Yu Dong said.

Xia Feng’s hand that held her blanket went stiff, his heart becoming distressed. You were uneasy all this time, It seems that he didn’t put enough effort.

“So how long will this sense if belonging last?” Xia Feng chuckled.

“Um…I hope it’ll last until we’re too old to walk.” Yu Dong thought about it then replied.

“I’m afraid I’ll be relying on you to lead me then.” Xia Feng laughed.

“Yes, after all, you’re so much older than me.” Yu Dong laughed with him.

“Thank you in advance!”

After listening to this, Yu Dong grinned.

“Good night!” Xia Feng left a kiss on Yu Dong’s forehead before he stood up.

I’m sorry I said it so late, but I’m telling you now: I like you!

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This chapter was really hard for me to translate for some reason. Anyway, yay they confirmed their feelings to each other.