Chapter 64: Honeymoon Prep

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John placed down his controller and stretched. After that, he pulled out a Dk Pep 2-liter bottle from his minifridge and cracked it open. Taking a long sip, he glanced at the screen in front of him.

Since it was a giant television that took up the entire wall of a floor, there was plenty of screen real estate to use. As a result, John decided to split it up to monitor different things.

At the moment, he had it split into quadrants. The top left was John Titor, still streaming random speedruns of retro games and trolling by blowing people’s minds with insane speedtech. The rest were the viewpoints of the Yakuza shadow servants roaming around Tokyo.

To make sure things didn’t get too messy, John had laid down some formations around the three to enforce rules similar to the video game. Concealment spells that would prevent enemies from finding them unless the Yakuza legends got too close or started the encounter. A small ‘domain’ that prevented people from dying to blatantly lethal wounds and only get knocked out. Things like that.

John glanced at the time and muttered, “Almost four now, huh?”

The day flew by faster than expected.

Of course, he *had* been spending most of it helping to clean up the city with the Yakuza legends and running errands to help people in need.

It was just like in the game, except real life. And the best part was that since those three were technically real people instead of just his personal shadow servants, John didn’t accumulate karma!

In short…

“A genius. And with everything else that I planned-” He suddenly cut himself off, narrowing his eyes to look up at the ceiling- No, at the cosmos beyond it. “…You almost got me there. Sneaky.”

It would be terrible if his plans were foiled because he listed them out. No, better to conceal them until they occurred later on.

Anyway…

John glanced at the top left corner of his screen and said, “Hey, ‘John’. Remember to not stream too long. We can’t have people start questioning us too much.”

The man in the white lab coat nodded, in the middle of controlling a ninja trying to cutdown a demon head before it damaged him. But he didn’t reply to John’s question out loud. Instead, the man used a mental transmission.

‘I got it. Then should I stop around five?’

“That should be fine. Nine hours is a bit long, but it’s fairly reasonable. Remember to private the stream afterwards though… And stop trolling people so much. They might really start thinking we’re time travelers.”

‘But we are?’

“John.”

‘Fine, John. I’ll tone it down a bit.’

John nodded and then stood up to walk around for a bit. He technically didn’t need to do that considering his physique and nature, but since it let John pretend he was just a normal guy like back in the good old days he did it anyway.

Sipping his Dk Pep, the off-brand version of the off-brand soda that a certain time-traveling mad scientist enjoyed, John took a look at how the other Yakuza legends were going about their business.

John had been mostly controlling Majim- Er, Maji, for the past few hours, so he was curious about what the other two were up to.

Saji seemed to have gone to a gym since the last time John checked. The powerfully built man had obtained a membership with the money John gave him and looked to be in the middle of training his physique.

Of course, since the man was actually a superhuman construct, it wouldn’t *really* make him stronger. But, like how John was taking a break, it seemed to help Saji pass the time and enjoy life.

“Mm… I guess I can tweak that.”

John hated seeing efforts go unrewarded, so he tweaked Saji’s body a bit to be able to improve with diligent training.

The man would still have to put in superhuman effort to exhaust his body and push beyond the limits and it’d be marginal results, but the effort wouldn’t be worthless at least.

As for Kiri… the legendary Dragon Yakuza seemed to be running around doing random errands. At the moment, the man in the gray blazer was… delivering pizza on a bike?

John blinked and muttered, “I guess some things don’t change even between worlds, huh?”

It looked like the guy was involved in one of those wacky chain of events for a side quest. How and why he got into it, John didn’t really know. But the man seemed to be enjoying himself at least, judging from how he was humming as he rode around.

John took another sip from his soda and then walked over to his microwave. Pressing a few buttons to conjure and warm up a cheeseburger and fries, he sat back down on his chair and pressed a button on his controller.

John Titor, Saji, and Kiri’s video feeds vanished. After that, the feed showing Maji filled the screen.

Since John had been away from the controller, Maji had started roaming around on his own, idly staring at the people passing by.

Due to the fact that the Seiryuu were running around looking for the three Yakuza legends and that Maji was, quite frankly, the most distinctive of the group due to his eyepatch and typical snakeskin jacket, John had swapped out his attire.

Rather than the appearance of the Mad Dog of Shimano in his later years, John had restored the man’s eye and given him an expensive suit and tie outfit, similar to that person’s younger days as a cabaret owner.

Maji cracked his neck as he walked around. He didn’t say anything out loud but his thoughts were transmitted through the television with subtitles, like an internal monologue in a cutscene.

‘Really… This is a strange experience, Boss. I mean, I know I’ve got a reputation for being insane, but actually hearing voices in my head and feeling someone lead me around is something else.’

The microwave beeped, signaling that John’s food was finished. He flicked his wrist, causing the microwave to open and summoned the plate holding the cheeseburger and fries onto his table. After grabbing a few fries and tossing them in his mouth, John nodded and said, “Don’t blame you. Took me a while to get used to that too.”

‘Are you… eating right now, Boss?’

“Yes? Why, did you want some?”

‘Nah. I’m good. Just wondering.’ Maji walked around, his hands tucked into his pockets while he glanced at the people passing him by. ‘This place hasn’t changed that much in the past ten years, huh?’

“Ten years?” John frowned. “Just how much do you remember anyway, Majim- I mean, Maji? And do you know anything about me?”

‘Can’t say for sure. My head’s in a bit of a mess right now… The others are probably in the same boat.’ Maji came to a stop, glancing up at the sky, thinking. ‘I know that the One-Eyed Demon Guy whose powers I’m using is someone you used to play as in a video game. But I remember living here too. The problem is that both of us are similar. That demon guy and me.’

“Mm… I figured that was the case. It’d be impossible for you two to fuse otherwise.”

John’s shadow servants might be just constructs, but they were still ‘his’ powers. Nothing would be able to interfere with it unless he allowed it… or unless they were the same type of thing to begin with.

After all, the nature of his shadow servants were to make a hollow shell and give it some powers to do what he envisioned. But if there was something that perfectly fit that hollow shell, like how water could take the form of a cup, a spirit could inhabit the shadow servant too.

Of course, John could always dissolve them so there wasn’t a risk of rebellion or anything. But he was curious about how something like this happened in the first place.

‘Hey, Boss. Mind making it so that I can talk out loud? It’s weird to just think and hear a response in my head.’

“Oh, sure.” John nodded and conjured a headset before placing it on and connecting it to the controller. At the same time, he waved his hand, causing a formation to appear around Maji, concealing his presence.

“Thanks, Boss.” Maji rolled his neck and said, “As for knowing you… Can’t say I know too much. All I know is that you’re pretty much a god. And that you apparently have women problems.”

John blinked and then he narrowed his eyes. “How the hell do you know that?”

Maji chuckled. “Well, you confirmed it just now. And also your face. That sort of mug gets all the ladies, especially when backed with money and power. You’ve got both in spades, right?”

John rolled his eyes and took a bite from his burger. “You’re too smart for your own good.”

Maji smirked and said, “Lucky I’ve got a boss that won’t bite my head off for lip, right?”

“Tch. You’re lucky I like you guys. If it was anyone else I’d have shown up and thrown hands by now.”

“Sure, sure. That’s what all the pretty boys say.” Maji chuckled. “But enough playing around.” His face became serious and he said, “Is there anything you need to know? We’ve been checking out the city, but it looks like the Seiryuu aren’t gonna do anything too wild. Least it looks like the Torabu are keeping ’em in check.”

John nodded and said, “How strong is that Shin guy? I checked him out with Kiri, and he seems to be pretty ridiculous.”

Maji frowned. “Shin, huh? Yeah, that bastard’s pretty insane.” He rubbed his neck and said, “He took Kiri head on and beat him, then crushed Saji with his bare hands. I managed to stab the guy’s heart with a knife as he did that, but he ripped my head off right after. Seems like that bastard lived through it too.”

Ah. That explained the wound over Shin’s heart.

Maji rounded a street corner and said, “He’s crazy strong. If it wasn’t for the fact that he’s a demon in human skin, I’d even respect the guy. But someone that kills people in cold blood, innocent or not… That gets under the skin of even a heartless bastard like me, you know?”

John sighed. “Then it looks like I really do have to deal with him, huh?”

Leaving someone like that around was just asking for trouble. Not to mention the fact that Sakura seemed to have a connection with the man… and that John was currently providing asylum to the daughter that man tried to kill.

Maji chuckled. “Didn’t think that gods could get nervous, Boss.”

“First off, I’m not a god. Those guys are heartless bastards who treat humans- No, mortals in general as just playthings or curiosities.”

Like that crazy goddess who kept insisting that she was ‘his’ after he had defeated her in combat.

Remembering that sent a shiver down John’s spine.

Thankfully, she had even less of a chance to show up than Yue since her authority was restricted to the Three Realms.

“Oh?” Maji raised an eyebrow and said, “If you’re not a god, then what are you, Boss?”

“I’m a human. Just one that happened to live a very, very, very, long time and accumulate a lot of various knickknacks.”

Maji snorted. “If you’re a human then I’m a goddamned saint.”

John shrugged. 

Not like he ever asked to end up like this. It just kind of… happened.

Though maybe he should have listened to his horoscope that day that he left for China. It *did* warn him about a life changing experience coming soon.

…Oh wait. That was why he went to China in the first place.

Damned ambiguous fortune telling… There was a reason why John hated karma and all of that destiny and fate baloney in the first place.

Maji walked around for a little more, staring at the surroundings with a wistful gaze.

John noticed and said, “Nostalgic?”

“Yeah.” Maji nodded and said, “Used to come here pretty often back in the day. Kamurocho’s where it’s at now, but Roppongi’s red light district back then was pretty wild too… I wonder how she’s doing these days?”

“What, lingering regrets?” John leaned back and took another bite from his burger. “If you’ve got any-“

“Nah.” Maji shook his head. “I worked out those knots eighteen years ago. Besides, Maji Yuurei’s become an actual ghost now, so I shouldn’t be going around showing my face. People might panic, ya know?”

“Maji Yuurei, huh?” It was different… but it also kind of fit. A ‘ghost’ instead of a ‘demon’.

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out, Boss.” Maji smirked and glanced back, stretching. “Now, your food’s probably getting cold and I’m just planning to hit the batting cages to adjust to my new eye. Pretty boring stuff. Why don’t you find something better to do in the meanwhile?”

John took another bite of his burger and nodded. “I do still have a few things I need to do…”

Like book that onsen vacation and honeymoon for him and his wife.

“Right?” Maji cracked his neck and said, “Leave us lesser men to handle this side of things and you go handle the more important stuff. I’ll let Kiri-chan and Saji know to call you if something comes up.”

“Mm… Alright. But don’t work too hard.”

“Heh. For a guy that’s basically a god, you’re pretty soft, Boss. But I guess that’s why I don’t mind wagging my tail as much…”

“Huh?”

Maji chuckled and then lifted his right hand to wave. “I’ll talk to ya later. Take care, Boss.”

With that, the connection cut off, turning the screen dark. And from the fact that the other feeds weren’t returning, it seemed that everyone else had gone about their own business as well.

John *could* see what they were doing right now if he wanted to. But he wasn’t the sort of person to micromanage everyone, so he let it be.

Instead, he waved his hand and pulled up the popular honeymoon spots in Japan.

“Let’s see… Hot springs, shrines, the sakura leaves… Well, it’s winter so the last one is out. And Yue wouldn’t care about shrines considering that she doesn’t like that sort of thing… so hot springs it is. In that case, the Ainzbern’s Valhalla Hot Spring is probably the best one, according to this tour guide pamphlet…” John muttered to himself, making plans to welcome his wife… and to apologize.

“Ah.” He stopped in the middle of reading an article and said, “Almost forgot.” He stood up and turned towards the general direction of the Seiryuu Alliance’s headquarters. “First, gotta cast a few misfortune spells on those guys. Can’t let them get a chance to screw things over for me while I’m prepping for Wifey.”

John waved his hand, causing a faint ripple to spread through the air. At the same time, he felt something intangible leave him. A bit of the accumulated bad karma and misfortune he’d obtained throughout the years and saved just to use in situations like these.

“Pick a god and pray, you guys. Though, considering that you’re ruining my stay on Earth, I doubt any are willing to risk my wrath…”