Chapter 11

I did not hesitate and walked slowly toward him without lowering my head. His gaze followed every step I took. ‘Why was it so hard for me to act like this before?’ I stood by the window and reached out my hand to him.

Due to the bright sunlight, his blue eyes looked glowing. He just stared sharply at my hand. Then, he looked up and met my eyes.

….This is a bit dangerous. Revealed between his smooth golden fringe, his blue eyes were as clear as a lake. Although his complexion was pale due to his illness, his look was still aesthetically brilliant. So, I decided to remember this. If one day my anger turns into murderous thoughts, I should look at his face. My anger would certainly disappear like how the snow melts when the spring comes.

“Amoide.” I called his name again. How many times had I called his name since I came into this room? I called his name repeatedly as if I was calling my pet cat or puppy.

He just silently stared at me.

Strangely, I felt relieved that at least he didn’t ignore me. So, I called him again. “Amoide.”

As if muttering, his mouth moved slightly. There was a mix of emotions reflected in his narrowed eyes.

‘Oh, this is fun.’ I smiled inwardly. Every time I called his name, I enjoyed the unexpected reaction he showed. It felt like I was watching a beautiful yet arrogant cat twitching its ears while basking in the sun, ignoring its owner’s call. It was like a magic spell. I thought he’d get mad at me for calling his name cheekily, but it didn’t turn out that way.

“Ahem.” I cleared my throat. “How are you feeling?”

“As you can see.” He answered halfheartedly. His annoyed tone sounded like he was saying, “You already see me sitting here just fine, so why are you still asking whether I’m fine or not?” to me.

“I’m glad that you look well. I was worried about whether you still can’t get out of bed.” I smiled brightly as I made eye contact with him.

On the contrary, fine wrinkles appeared between his eyes.

‘Do you hate to see me smiling that much?’ ….I wanted to ask that, but I held it in. And I finally got to the point. “Amoide, would you like to take a walk with me?”

As soon as he heard my words, his expression abruptly changed as if he was looking at a strange insect.

Oh, did I push too much? I was so immersed in thoughts about my plan that I forgot to make the conversation flow naturally.

As I was about to open my mouth again, he talked first, “Did you eventually become crazy?”

My favorable impression toward him was crushed instantly. “No, I’m not.” I answered with a smile. Even if more harsh words came out of his mouth after this, I was confident that I would neither be shocked nor feel hurt. The courage to be disliked, the courage to be disliked.

[ T/N: apparently, this is the title of a bestseller motivational book in Asia, written by two Japanese authors. ]

After repeating these words to myself about ten times, I brought up the next words. “The weather is nice today, so let’s go for a walk.”

At the moment, his expression subtly changed, and his lips moved as if he was trying to say something. “…O.”

“Sorry?” Trying to hear his voice that was barely audible, I tilted my head and asked. “Amoide, what did you say just now?”

When I asked him, he muttered under his breath, “What kind of nonsense is this again…”

‘I can handle this much.’ I responded to his quiet voice with a smile. “It’s not nonsense. I just want to go for a walk with you. We’re a married couple, aren’t we?”

“…Married couple?” He frowned at the words that I used brazenly.

Ah, that expression again.

“Are you claiming that we’re a married couple now?”

“Of course, we are a married couple, not siblings, right?”

Amoide seemed to be lost for words at my bright answer.

“Oh dear, are you feeling sick?” I looked at his expression and asked tactfully.

“….No, I’m okay.” He waved his hand and distanced himself from me.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, so stay away.”

“Then, go for a walk with me.” I pestered him once again.

“I don’t want to.”

Looking at him rejecting me without hesitation, I retracted the hand that I previously held out toward him. ‘Yeah, of course, he’s gonna be like this.’ I didn’t expect it to be easy in the first place. ‘It’s okay. It’s really okay. I won’t give up after failing once.’

“Tell me what you’re up to.”

“Actually, it’s a trick to make you healthy again.”

“What?”

I could see the fine lines appearing on his forehead. Unknowingly, I flinched for a moment. Nevertheless, I immediately smile to appear calm. “It means your body is now in my hands.”

“My body….what are you going to do?”

“I just got permission from mother.”

“What permission?”

Since we got our emotions under control, it was time for me to explain to him logically. “Amoide, you have to get a certain amount of sunlight every day to be healthy.”

“….” He furtively glanced at the bright sunlight through the window and nodded slightly.

I quickly added my words. “Breathe the fresh air. Instead of this hard floor, step on the soil and enjoy the flower scents outside.” ‘Rather than lying in bed waiting for your death.’ Seeing him not budging at all, I tried encouraging him more, “All these moments are precious. Later, if you die, you can’t…”

At his sudden glare, I quickly changed my words. “It rained last night. The garden soil smells so good. The phytoncides are also coming out of the trees…” At that moment, I made eye contact with Amoide, who looked at me with cold eyes. “Well, anyway, they’re good for your health. Don’t just stay in the room and let’s go outside, okay?”

[ T/N: Phytoncide is a substance emitted by plants & trees and generally means the aroma of the forest. It is related to forest therapy. ]

Looking at me persistently prodding him, Amoide stood up from the window sill with an unfathomable expression. I was looking down at him before, but when he stood up, I felt like I was shrinking. And in an instant, it became dark. Did the sun go down already?

“…”

The sun was still up. However, his large shoulders and back blocked all of the sunlight. His silhouette was more pronounced with the backlight. I always knew he had a big body frame, but I realized it once again when I saw him like this. His face was barely visible because of the backlight. I only felt that he was staring at me.

“You must have been in a hurry.” A quiet voice broke the silence.

‘What the hell is he talking about?’ I looked at him with a confused look. “…about what?” ‘In a hurry? About what?’ Somehow, I thought the conversation didn’t make sense. There must be some misunderstanding going on here.

His words began to gush at me like heavy rain. “Why can’t you just say it directly? Since when have we had such a good relationship and walked arm in arm? Don’t you think so?” His voice was sharp like a savage predator. He looked at me as if he was disillusioned by the world.

“I-I just…” I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t open my mouth because of this sudden change of atmosphere. “It’s for your body.”

“So, you ask me to go for a walk just for my health?”

I barely nodded a few times at his question.

“Are you changing your way now?” There was a burst of laughter coming out of his mouth.

“What do you mean?” I asked again because I really didn’t understand.

“Bearing my child. I told you not to tell mother that I’m not going to sleep with you because I won’t ask for more.”

“…”

I did. At least within the duke’s mansion, it appeared that he and I spent hot nights together regularly. If it turned out that I was no different than before I got married, I would be kicked out by the duchess right away that day. And that would cut off all financial support for my younger siblings.

“I did, right? Should I just have a child instead?” He took a step closer.

I was just standing there, but I felt intimidated as his huge body got close. “I-I…” Things were going in an unexpected direction. Before I could figure out what happened, I was already stepping back.

Tuk. A hard wall touched my back. I was pushed all the way here by him. There was a hard wall behind me and a man with threatening eyes in front of me. “Uh, look Amoide, I’m sorry. Next time…” I tried to sneak away by twisting my body.

But at that moment, I was caught by a pair of firm hands. With his hands on my shoulders,

it felt like I was stuck to the wall. Locked between him and the wall, I looked up at his face. The force he exerted on my shoulders made me doubt whether it came from a sickly person. ‘Are you really sick?’

‘Just what on earth gets on his nerves?’ I trembled in fear like a mouse standing in front of a cat. It wasn’t once or twice he looked at me with an annoyed face before, but it was my first time seeing him get this angry. ‘Why? Is it just because I asked you to go for a walk?’ I couldn’t understand this situation. “Uhm… Amoide, listen to me. I’m just…”

“What plot did you come up with mother again?”

“Sorry?”

“It’s probably because I collapsed yesterday.”

‘What are you talking about?’

“Why? Since I don’t seem to have much time left to live, you want to have a baby right now?”

“N-no…” I shook my head wildly.

But he didn’t seem to pay attention to my words.

“I don’t mean to…” At that moment, I tried to raise my hand to stop him. “Ouch.” The stabbing pain made me scream a little.

Only then, Amoide loosened his grip.