I was sitting on a sofa, waiting for Tomose. Her mom went to call her from her own room. I asked her mother to pass the notes instead of me. But that idea wasn’t to her liking.

And here I was waiting in a room, which seemed like the living room. Tomose’s home was bigger than my apartment. Her room was upstairs, from what I assumed.

I had a table in front of me with the remotes of the TV lying on them. This certainly sparked a slight memory of my past when I used to live with my family.

What will I say to her?

I thought about it for the first time in my life. What would I say to someone who’s emotional state is like Tomose right now?

“Sakamaki-san, she won’t come down so you can just go into her room. I’ll prepare you some tea.”

“Ah, no need for all these, Mrs Tomose. I will just give her the notes and then leave.” I stood up from the sofa.

“You’re a really polite kid, Sakamaki-san.” She smiled and seemed like she would make that tea.

Since she said I can go to her room, I guess Tomose allowed it. Also, it was really weird calling both of them Tomose. I’m going to call her Saki from now on.

I walked towards the door and stood near the door like a stupid person. I was really awkward. This was my first time in a girl’s house. I was nervous.

Mrs Tomose noticed me and understood why I was standing like a stone. She smiled and gestured upstairs. So her room was indeed upstairs.

I bowed to her and went up the stairs and turned left. Door of the first room was slightly open, which was Saki’s room, I assumed.

I walked up in front of it and knocked on it gently.

“Come in.” Saki’s voice came from inside.

I pushed the knob and the smell of her room hit my nose. You know like everyone’s room has a distinct smell.

I never thought my life would progress this drastically in a course of one month.

“Hello, Saki-san” I greeted her as usual.

She was sitting on her bed, legs hanging at the edge. She was swaying her feet which showed her restlessness.

“S… Saki?” Me using her first name startled her.

“Yeah, actually I’m calling your mom Mrs. Tomose, and then calling you Tomose would be awkward.” I laughed.

I’m so stupid.

“Ah, don’t worry. It’s just you never used my first name.” She smiled.

“So take these.” I handed her the notes.

“Thank you.”

Our failed attempt to talk with each other. There was some tension building up between us.

“So-” “Why don’t you sit?” We both said in unison.

“No actua-” “What were you sa-” We again said in unison and interrupted each other. We both laughed awkwardly.

I’m sure Saki was embarrassed because of the scene and how she reacted. That’s why she is being awkward while talking with me.

“Go ahead.” I said.

“You sit down.” She smiled. I gestured to her that I was fine and moved towards the bookshelf beside her bed.

“You can continue.” I said, while looking at her collection of books.

“So, I have little to say.” She shrugged.

“You have a lot of books.” I commented. “But these are academic books.” I sighed.

“Yeah, I’m not much of a reader.” Her voice wasn’t like it was two days ago. Neither was it as cheerful as it was a week or two ago.

I guess this is how she really sounds. Her voice wasn’t pretentious anymore.

“Saki-san, I know what question you have right now. Go ahead.” I glanced at her.

As she was about to say something, her mom came in with the tea and snacks. Snacks were unexpected. But I don’t mind, as long as I can eat.

“You mom is really nice.” I said, picking up a biscuit.

“Yes, she is… Both of my parents are.” She smiled warmly. She took a sip of the tea, her eyes locked on the floor. She zones out really quickly.

“It must be a good feeling having loving parents.” Shit, I thought it out loud.

“What?”

“Nevermind, what were you saying before your mom came in?”

She looked at me intensely.

“I want an answer in yes or no. Nothing else.” She was persistent.

I know where this is going.

“Do you think I did it?”

“No,” I replied instantly.

“That was fast.” She was amazed at the confidence in my voice.

“Then why didn’t you say anything at that time?”

“As Kana-san said, it wasn’t my place to speak.”

“But- I felt so terrible, I was going to cry.”

“I know.”

“The- there I go again, always talking about myself.” She said in a low voice.

She seems like she wants to say many things, but her brain can’t process so many things at once.

“Thank you for trying to stand up for me then.” She was looking at the floor again.

Today was the day I will say what has been on my mind for so long.

“Look at me,” I ordered her. She looked at me in confusion.

“If you want to cry, you can. If you want to talk about yourself all day long, you can. I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again, stop others from controlling your life.”

“I know, but-” She tried to say something.

“So what if they are your friends? If your friends are trying to control you, then they aren’t your friends. Sorry to break it to you.” It was ironic that I was saying this.

“I never thought that you wrote the letter. Because I believed in you. The Saki-san I know can’t do something like that.”

“What are-”

“To be honest, you know me. I don’t care what others’ think of you. I believe in you and I will stand by your side. I know it sounds weird coming from a guy who wasn’t even talking to you a month ago. But it’s up to you.”

She was staring at me. Her eyes looked like they were on the verge of crying.

“It’s okay to confide in someone after being strong for so long. I gave her a warm smile.

“B… But I don’t deserve this.” Her voice was shaking.

“It’s alright, I’m always there for you to confide in me.”

She started crying, but there was no sound. Only tears rolling down her pale cheeks, and the cup in her hands shaking frequently.

I walked up to her and took the cup from her because it might spill at any point.

I turned around to place it on the table but felt her touch my hand. I looked at her and she was looking at me with her teary eyes.

“Will you always be by my side?” I didn’t know how to respond to that question so I nodded with a small smile. No one has ever asked me to stay by their side.

“Yo-You are not lying, right?”

“Why would I?” I flipped the palm and gently cradled her hand. I can’t tell if she was blushing because I held her hand or because she was crying.

Probably the latter.

“Bu-But you… like Matsushita-san.” She said in a soft voice.

I laughed. “Who told you that?”

Well, she has seen me hanging out with Kana and she is indeed close to me, but Saki has the wrong idea about it.

“You two are always so close to each other.” She said, rubbing her eyes with her other hand.

I hope her mom doesn’t barge in right now or I’m as dead as the dead sea.

“She’s just a friend.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re popular with girls.” She sniffed, and her voice was sore.

“Saki-san, would you believe me if I said I loved you?”

“Wh-What!? Stop joking around.” She started moving her legs faster. She was definitely restless.

I said nothing, just stared into her eyes. I don’t know what to say. This was my first time confessing to a girl.