RIKA

Gar and Aaryn continued their conversation quietly, and she left them to it, walking back into the cave, staring at the paper where she’d listed the addresses and names of her bosses and their headquarters. It had taken only a minute or two, and she’d taken it out to give it to them, only to find Gar and Aaryn arguing. Now she wanted to leave them to it, but she was at a loss. Rifling through the bag they’d brought, she found a few strips of dried beef that Gar had included and pulled one out to chew on it as she paced.

Nerves fluttered in her stomach, but she knew it was right for him to go. She’d been given little warning about the traverse, only warned that she had to be very determined in her mind to pass through safely. Her human counterparts knew little and understood less about what happened in that realm. All they knew was that some of their team had gone missing. And the one that had returned safely never wanted to cross again.

Rika had half-hoped the traverse would kill her, though she hadn’t wanted to admit her mind had been so weak. But once she made it through, shaking and terrified, she’d been greeted by this incredible land and then soon, these even more incredible people.

Gar.

Now, though the thought of the traverse made her want to vomit, she’d cross it every day if it meant being with him. She understood Aaryn’s fear though—probably more than he did. If he’d been listening to the Anima’s tales of that place…

She wouldn’t want to risk Gar that way, either.

A few minutes later, his heavy footsteps sounded in the cave—which meant he was letting her hear him so she wouldn’t be startled. He could move silently like a cat when he wanted to.

She realized she was just standing there in the middle of the floor, staring at the wall, and turned to face him, ready to tell him all the reasons he should go.

His eyes were already on hers when she turned, measuring her. His face clouded with the battle he fought within.

He walked to stand right in front of her, staring down at her, his hair falling to either side of his face as he reached for her gently, running his fingertips up and down her upper arms.

“He’s saying—”

“I know. I heard. You should go,” she said firmly, nodding. “You need to help him, Gar.”

“But this is our only day, Rika. It’s our only time. We can’t know—”

“I know. But you’re coming back, right? After? I’ll still be here.”

His brow pinched into lines and he searched her eyes. “I’ll be gone for hours. You’ll be here alone.”

Rika huffed. “You know I lived in this country for weeks by myself, right?”

“Yes, but…” he trailed off, frowning deeper.

“Don’t start mansplaining on me now,” she said, grinning, trying to keep this light for him.

But he only frowned harder. “What is… mainsplaying?”

Rika almost swallowed her tongue fighting the laugh. “Trust me, it happens,” she giggled. “I’ll tell you when you see it.”

He was still confused, but she sighed and reached for him, pulling herself into his chest and laying her ear against his ribs. His heart thrummed like a drum, echoing in his broad chest. When he spoke, his deep voice vibrated against her ear.

“Rika, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You aren’t going to, Gar,” she whispered, unwilling to admit she felt like that was exactly what was happening. “You’re going to go help that poor guy make sure he can get across, and then you’re going to come back and throw me into the bed and we’ll have some fun for as long as we can.”

He sighed deeply. She wasn’t sure why that idea had made him sad—had he been lying the night before? He had not liked—?

“I love you, Rika.”

“I love you, too, Gar. And trust me, that’s huge.”

When she pulled out of his chest, he kept her in his arms, his fingers combing her hair from her temples, down her back as he searched her gaze.

She wished she knew what he was looking for. Then she might be able to tell him if he’d ever find it.

“I’ll be as fast as I can,” he rumbled.

“You’ll be as safe as you can, please,” she corrected. “I want you here and safe with me. One hour either way isn’t going to make a difference if you’re hurt.”

He nodded but didn’t respond. She could see the rigid tension in his shoulders, the ways the tendons in his neck were beginning to stand out. Yet, his hands were still gentle on her, giving her goosebumps that made her want to demand he stay and throw her into the furs right then, but she held the words back.

Something was wrong with Gar, and it was making her tense.

“Please don’t worry,” she whispered, putting her hands to his chest and soaking up his warmth. “I’ll still be here when you get back.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise, Gar.” She tipped her head. “Are you really worried about that?”

He shrugged and his eyes finally darted away, down to the floor.

Rika frowned and put a hand to his jaw, turning his face so he’d meet her eyes again. “I’m in this, Gar. For better or worse. Whatever happens. I’m here with you, now. For goodness sake, I bailed on my entire life—my job, my money, everything—because being with you is… better.”

Something inside her chest flared to life, light curling around her heart as if its beating created something powerful that wanted to push through her veins. She pushed it back, frightened of the effect he had on her.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered. “Not by choice.”

Gar nodded and leaned down. His kiss was soft and gentle, but trembling with emotion. Rika clung to him, tasting his lips, letting her tongue dance with his, her belly curling with anticipation for being close to him again.

But finally, they broke apart and as he stroked her hair back one more time, his eyes had gone flat. He’d made up his mind. Against his own desires, he was going to leave her.

She didn’t know whether to be ecstatic that leaving her was something he had to fight himself to do, or irritated that he thought she couldn’t lay in a cave by herself for a few hours without his protection.

“I’ll be back. Don’t move,” he said, his voice dark with warning.

“I’ll be here..” She forced herself to smile, but Gar just grunted, took the paper she’d folded, turned on his heel, and left.