I trembled at somebody’s chilly voice. Apparently dragged by her, he looked around, frowning deeply. Suddenly, he fixed his eyes on me with irritation and disdain. His cool eyes seemed to ask me if I was going to dare to ruin the party for her, which made me shrink back.
“I’m honored to see the Sun of the Empire, Your Majesty.”
“I’m honored to see the Moon of the Empire, Your ….Oops!”
Oh my goodness! I didn’t want to show my ugliness to him, but I spaced out because I felt nauseated. Colorful lights and various colors were going round and round before my eyes. I felt like I would vomit what I had in the morning, so I took a deep breath to calm down somehow.
Duke Lars, looking at him and me alternately, stepped forward. After looking at the empress coldly, he reluctantly smiled at her.
“Congratulations, Your Majesty!”
“Congratulations?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I think she is pregnant. If it’s true, it’s certainly something you have to celebrate. As you know, there have only been a few offspring in the imperial family from generation to generation. Indeed, this is a big event for celebration.”
“Pregnant?”
Am I pregnant? He looked at me with surprise, but Duke Lars was faintly smiling. Some looked at me with joy, some with astonishment, and others with incredulousness and anger.
At that moment, someone squatted down with a scream. The tiara that had decorated her dark hair rolled down to the floor. She was now looking up at me blankly.
Her arrogant attitude beat me. Can’t she feel others looking at her with disdain and contempt?
I couldn’t find any trace of pride and dignity as the most noble woman in the empire.
The emperor hugged her, who flopped down, and raised her up. Then he immediately smiled lightly at me. I was thrilled at his first smile at me. My heart began to pound when I thought that he might care for me a little more than before.
“It looks like you’re pregnant. What a happy event!”
“I’m honored to hear that, Your Majesty.”
My heart was thrilled at his unexpected words and actions for a moment, but as soon as I met his eyes, I quickly realized that he didn’t say that because he was genuinely happy.
He is the ruler of the Castina Empire with a population of 20 million. Just like me who received training as the emperor’s wife, he received more rigorous education as the only successor of the emperor as soon as he was born. Obviously, he, the only heir to the empire, was speaking to me warmly, conscious of my family and factions, based on his logical thinking. I could confirm it in his cold eyes, contrary to his lips with a warm smile.
“Isn’t it great that I came to hear you’re pregnant on the one-year anniversary of her crowning as the empress? I’m so happy.”
The nobles around him bowed and shouted congratulations to the emperor.
“Congratulations, Your Majesty! ”
But I could not show any reaction because of his chilly and confusing gaze on me.
I could not take my eyes off his cold eyes and her eyes mixed with jealousy and treachery.
Looking at me for a while, he said with a voice that contained no emotion at all, “It looks like you don’t feel well. Why don’t you go and take a break?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Let me leave now.”
“Although I should escort you to your residence, I can’t leave his place as today’s host. So, please understand me. I will see you soon.”
“…I’m honored to hear that, Your Majesty.”
Obviously, he was letting me get out of this place. I went back to the palace after bowing to him, who was still cold to me, and her casting a cold glance at me. I heard from the royal doctor sent by the emperor that I was officially pregnant.
Taking off my heavy dress, I lay in bed wearing something comfortable and stroked my belly.
I was very confused. Pregnant? I felt I didn’t feel good because I overworked myself these days. I thought I lost my appetite due to the heavy workload and heightened tension. I thought I felt dizzy because I hadn’t been eating well. All my assumptions were false.
So, is a baby in my womb now?
Baby…His and my baby.
I had a dream. I dreamed that as the late emperor had only one child after great difficulty, Rub, his only successor, felt lonely like me all the time. Although he despised and hated me so much, I once dreamed that if I had his child, he would treat me warmly. But dreams were just dreams.
In reality, he was so cold to me. I didn’t care even if she betrayed me when she told me she wanted to get along with me as a sister. What really saddened me was his chilly reaction when he heard that I was pregnant with his baby. I felt I was so stupid because I could not give up the ray of hope that I had for him. I became deeply skeptical about myself because I found myself still waiting for him earnestly, although I knew he said out of courtesy that he was happy about my pregnancy.
***
Although he told me that he would see me sooner or later, he didn’t visit me even after a week or two. I was a little puzzled because I knew that he kept his promises, no matter what.
I believed that he would certainly come to see me, no matter how much he hated me and my pregnancy. He needed to talk with me at least once to cope with this situation somehow.
I kept waiting for him, but he didn’t come.
Instead, an unexpected person visited me. Even though he hadn’t seen me for a long time, he just looked at me without saying anything. He was none other than my father, one of the empire’s founding fathers, and the head of Monique family, who was called the spear of the empire and the most loyal subject of the imperial family.
As the head of my family, my father once led the regular imperial knights, staying loyal to the imperial family for generations. Unlike other aristocrats who sometimes criticized and checked the succeeding emperors’ tyranny, my family showed absolute loyalty to the imperial family, no matter what. As the head of the Monique family, my father was also a very old-fashioned and blunt knight. The day after I entered the palace as the emperor’s concubine, he volunteered to be dispatched to the border areas, saying that his family members’ rise was not good for the emperor’s governance.
My father, who came to see me after hearing that I was pregnant, did not say anything when he saw me haggard due to morning sickness that had only grown worse. He just took some of my work. Although I didn’t expect much, I couldn’t hide my bitterness as he didn’t show any concern towards me.
Late in the morning one day, three weeks after the banquet, the emperor finally called me.
Because I had bad morning sickness and dizziness in the morning, I really wanted to take a rest, but I had no choice but to head to the Central Palace to see him.
I looked up at the sky where dark clouds were gathering. When I passed through the dark garden because there was no light, I saw a huge building that looked gray under a shade.
Was it because it was cloudy? I felt unusually heavy today.
“Sit down there.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
The moment I sat down, I felt dizzy again. Because of dizziness, I began to feel nauseated.
I barely pulled myself together. After taking a deep breath, I looked at him.
“Let me get to the point.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“I won’t say that the baby in your worm is not mine. Given that you are a highly proud woman, I think it’s my baby.
“… ”
“But keep this in mind. I’m going to choose my successor among the babies that the empress will deliver later. Do you understand? ”
His voice was cold. Every word that he spat out was cold to the ear. When I flinched, he continued coldly, “Why are you not replying? It doesn’t matter how many babies you have or how smart they are. Your child will never be my successor. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I’ll keep it in mind, Your Majesty.”
“If you got it, get out. I expect you won’t make any fuss over this matter.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Then, let me leave…”
I couldn’t talk back when he was using such harsh language. I barely stood up when I felt dizzy again. At that moment, the world went round and round before my eyes.
Oh, no. The moment I fell, losing my balance, someone quickly grabbed me.
When I barely raised my head, calming down my nausea, I saw him holding me and him stiffening with a hardened expression.
“Rub? Tia? ”