“Listen to me well.”
“…”
“I have to go to the border for a while for urgent things. Wait for some time When I come back, I will take you back home. ”
His resolute expression and sparkling in his blue eyes looked so strange to me, I asked him with a trembling voice, “… Daddy?”
“Do you understand?”
“… Yes, I got it. You are coming back soon, right? ”
“Sure, I will. So, you must be firm and healthy until I come back. Do you understand?”
“Yes, yes, daddy.”
After getting my reassurances once more, he turned away with a faint smile. I just felt so nervous and even worried about him, watching him disappearing. Could I ask him not to go?
I hesitated again and again before shutting my mouth. I was certain he would be back soon because he was a man of his word. If I waited a little longer, he would certainly take me home soon. Then, I would ask him things like ‘What did you mean when you said you wished you had not married me off to him? Do you really think I was more important to you than the empire and the imperial family that you always made top priority?’
Three days after my father left for the border, the empress, who begged for the emperor’s approval for her outing and went out with two bodyguards, was attacked by an unidentified assailant. After that, she had a miscarriage.
It was the very next day that my father was arrested for treason as the mastermind behind the attack of the empress.
“Please save my father, Your Majesty. I’m begging you. ”
I thought charging him with treason was ridiculous. There was no chance that as the head of the family most loyal to the empire, he committed such a crime. However, the situation surrounding him was not good. Wicked rumors kept circulating.
Ironically, he visited my palace for the first time since I had a miscarriage. When I was nervous about the emperor’s possible rejection of my father’s request to see me, I begged the emperor to save his life.
“Save your father?”
“Please save his life, Your Majesty, considering our family’s dedication to the imperial family … I don’t want anything else. Please save his life, Your Majesty. ”
Looking at me with curiously sparkling eyes, he smiled a twisted smile.
“Okay? Then kneel down. ”
“Pardon?”
“You said you wanted to save your father’s life. Kneel down and bow to me. If you do so, let me consider it. ”
As his designanted wife from the start, I grew up as his better half as soon as I was born. I was educated to work with him on an equal footing as his partner. Therefore, I had a lot of pride that I was superior to anyone else, even those older than me. I was proud that as someone who learned demeanor and education from the best teacher, I was superior to Jiun, whose family or origin was not even known. Maybe the emperor wanted to test my conceitedness.
Only a few days ago, I might not have given up my high pride for my father who always put the imperial family before me. Even my father, who always supported the imperial family, would never have wanted me to do anything humiliating as a member of the imperial family.
But I was not in such a position now. I witnessed the emperor’s injustice, which my father confirmed to me. I thought of leaving the imperial palace with my father.
Pride? Dignity of the imperial family? None of that mattered to me. I had something that I wanted to check with my father. I wanted to ask him whether he thought of me as more precious than the imperial family, and whether he really loved me. And I wanted to act like a baby with him, which I hadn’t done for a long time.
Above all, I had to save my father’s life by all means.
The sweltering and hot energy rose, but I knelt in front of him with my lips tight. I slowly leaned down. Although I was raging with anger and frustration, I put up with it, biting my lip, and knelt before him. And I slowly lowered my forehead on the floor.
“Please save my father. I’m begging you earnestly, Your Majesty. ”
“Hahaha! Oh, I’m surprised how you, who are so arrogant and on such a high horse, can kneel before me! Ha ha ha ha ha!”
I was lying with my face down before him for a while, while he was laughing like crazy.
I began to feel cold all over my body, but clenched my teeth because I had something to do.
“Satisfy me like a lowly slave as much as you can. Then, I will save your father. ”
Didn’t he feel satisfied with my actions? I felt like it was the last straw when he treated me like a whore. I again bit my lips tightly even though I was quivering with rage.
‘Yeah, I can do this much for you if you want it. If you want my perfect obedience, let me do as you wish.’
I’ve kept self-esteem, pride and so much more for the past seventeen years. The moment I touched my forehead on the cold floor, what I had cherished for a long time fell down in my heart gradually. While swallowing hot tears, I repeated his name.
‘Daddy, daddy, daddy…’
That was the only hope left in my empty heart.
How much time has passed? I trembled with shame, but I barely opened my mouth with trembling lips.
“Are you satisfied now?”
“Well.”
“Are you going to save my father’s life as you promised?”
He opened his eyes and cast a sarcastic smile at him. I looked down, feeling nervous with an ominous foreboding.
“What a spectacle! You acted like the most arrogant and conceited woman in the world, but you are like any other vulgar woman who took off their clothes to get what you wanted. ”
“… ”
“Did you ask me to save your father?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Your father is dead. He was executed this morning. ”
What? I couldn’t believe my ears. When I stared at him sharply, he said mockingly, with lots of disdain on his face, “You’re surprisingly naive. Did you think I would save your father, who killed my baby and tried to kill my only woman? ”
‘What? You killed my father?’
I feigned laughter. I did not wish or dream about my father’s love until now. But it was the only hope I wanted to believe right now. He showed me that when I felt like I would fall because I was weary. As I hoped for it, I pocketed my pride. I gave up my pride, my self-esteem and everything, including my status. I gave up everything I should have received as the future empress only a year ago. Then, what did he say? He killed my father?
I took a rough breath. I couldn’t even confirm my father’s thoughts or feelings, who I wanted to save by risking everything I had.
‘You said my father killed your baby? According to your logic, you killed my baby. By killing my baby, you ruined my hope that I could live with you, and you ruined my past days by killing my father. You took everything from me. What a bad guy you are!’
I heard some buzzing sound in my ears. Fuming, I took out the hairpin from my ornaments. Looking at its sharp edge, I stabbed him without any hesitation.
“Argh.”
When I saw his red blood, I came to my senses suddenly. What did I do?
I reached out to him bleeding and groaning in pain, but the royal guards quickly came in and pulled me hard.
“Your Majesty!”
I saw the royal doctor rushing to him and the maids shocked to see him bleeding.
I met his blue eyes among them. While I was taken out roughly by them, I could not take my eyes away from him, dripping with blood.
I heard my heart was pounding hard. I felt some sort of feelings coming up from my heart.
What is this feeling that has nothing to do with any worry? Excitement, despair, resignation, and an unknown feeling. All kinds of feelings were swirling in my heart.
“Are you okay, Your Majesty?”
Among the crowded people around him, the royal doctor asked the emperor whether he felt okay. Dragged along by the royal guards, I was disappearing from him gradually.
Even though my heart was pounding hard, I could see his cynical smile on his face for the last time.
“As a result, I remove your title of a royal concubine…”
Where did it go wrong?
“All the properties, including the title and estate of the Marquis Monique shall be confiscated…”
Why am I here?
“On charges of attempting to kill the emperor…”
What did I do wrong?
“…You’ll be beheaded. ”
I’m only guilty of having loved you.