Samael had told me he and I would travel alone. He also asked the maidservants for me to have a change of clothes in a much simpler dress.

Yet, as a born peasant, there’s nothing simple in these clothes. Well, it looked a bit plain, unlike the dresses I had been wearing.

But they were still pretty. Perhaps, in the eyes of the nobles, they’re simple? I still couldn’t understand what was the norm among nobles.

Not that I had encountered one aside from Sam. 

“What are you thinking?” I snapped back when I heard Sam inquired.

We were currently riding a horse at a very slow pace. Sam holding the reins while I sat in front of him; my feet on the horse’s rear.

Slowly, I looked up at him. 

“I was thinking how come this dress is considered simple.” I replied.

“Because the price is different.” Sam glanced down at me briefly before he looked ahead.

“Huh?”

“The clothes you usually wear were made of finer silks. Hence, the price was higher. As for that flat dress on which I can say simpler to tear apart if I wanted to, the price was close, but it gave you a look of those middle-class ladies.”

Sam explained without batting me an eye. Was that other part necessary to his explanation? But it, indeed, required fewer layers of inner clothes.

“Don’t think about it. I simply don’t want you to stand out too much — although I knew you would, even if you’re covered with mud.” 

He added. I furrowed my brows. A peasant never stood out. However, I took his words as wearing those clothes would make me stand out in a field where peasants live.

“Also, if you can, don’t tell where you were and who you were with for safety purposes.” 

“Huh?”

“I offended a lot of noble families lately. They might touch you.” Again, Samael cast me a brief glance and smiled.

“Touch… me?” I didn’t understand the severity of his claims as he smiled.

Was he serious or not? I could not tell. Sam… he was like a puzzle who made me often believe I already solved, but not really.

“You never seen me mad?” He queried with his eyes ahead.

I bit my lips. There was this distinct feeling in his tone, which sent a slight shiver down my spine.

How long has it been since I felt this kind of fear again? 

I stared at him, wondering if I truly know this man? Sometimes, he was gentle and considerate — affectionate, if I may add.

However, there were times… times I mostly ignored, that he still scared me. Not that I fear him; I fear that I’m turning a blind eye just because it was him.

I don’t think fear was the term anymore. Rather, he worries me.

I barely have a vague idea of what Sam had been doing for the past weeks. But there were times he appeared exhausted and in distress.

I never asked him. I pretended not to notice. But, I wondered… was avoiding to raise a question helped?

Now that I think about it, I never helped him. He had changed my life; provided me education, dress me, fed me, and kept his words.

But what did I offer in return? Nothing. He never asked me for anything, either.

Just… why was he marrying me? 

With every book I read, it made me question my purpose as well. The more I learned, the more I questioned myself, and the more I wanted to help.

But how? How could I be useful?

“Do I look that good to be stared at for a long time?” He said, snapping me back from my depressing thoughts.

“I would appreciate it if you look at me with lust, though.”

He added. Sam slowly gaze down and smirked.

“How would I look at you with lust if I haven’t known or felt it?”

Normally, I would ignore his nonsense blunder. I didn’t know what gotten into me to ask such an odd question.

Perhaps it was the will to help him in some sort of way.

Suddenly, Sam pulled the reins, causing me to hold tightly on his chest. When it halted, I slowly raised my curious gaze.

Sam was narrowing his eyes in disbelief at what he had heard.

“My lady, did you know I’m faster than this horse, even at full speed?” He asked.

I furrowed my brows at the sudden and out of context question. “huh?”

“We can comeback to the mansion in no time. I’m saying, you shouldn’t tease me like that.” Sam solemnly uttered under his breath, his eyes blazing with desire.

But… I’m not teasing him. I’m merely curious.

Yet my thoughts remained in my head as I nodded. Sam rocked his head back and forth lightly.

“Goodness…” Sam let out a heavy sigh from his mouth. He tilted his head back, looking up.

“Are you alright, my lord?” I asked, seeing him breathed heavily.

“I was,” He paused as he slowly gazed down. His fiery gaze instantly locked with mine. 

Slowly, his thumb and fingers held my chin.

“Until you gave me some sort of idea.” He huffed huskily. “Look at me.”

Sam stilled my chin, his gaze drawing me in. Deep crimson eyes… dangerously mesmerizing.

I couldn’t look away. Not that I wanted to. Deep down, I wanted to know what those eyes were telling me all this time.

“This is how you look someone with lust.” He stressed, and I gulped.

“But, you always…” I trailed as I bit my tongue.

“Exactly. Even if I purely adore you, I’m still a man and had primal needs.” 

Sam added in the same airy tone. Out of habit, I bit my lower lip lightly.

“Was lust a primal need?” I asked, that came out as a whisper. 

I saw him take a deep breath, as if he needed to calm himself. Why?

“Lil,” After a long inhale and deep exhale, Sam called. “Even if it is, don’t fret about it.”

He added, staring deep into my eyes. When I heard that, I clasped on his chest tightly.

I gazed down. Biting my lips to remind myself to think twice of what I was about to speak.

“But… I want to help.” I replied timidly. I just wanted to help him and be useful to him, no matter how little it was.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, silly.”

I might not, but I’m willing.

“Teach me.” I tugged him lightly, raising my head. Firm resolved flickered across my eyes as my tone determined.