Chapter 31 Dew—Part Four

After he summoned Wen Ning, Wei WuXian’s state of mind was somewhat confused, so it was hard for him to be continuously alert. And, if Lan WangJi didn’t want someone to notice his arrival, he could do it without any difficulty. Thus, as he turned around and saw the even colder face under the moonlight, his heart almost skipped a beat.

He didn’t know how long Lan WangJi had been here for or if he had seen and heard what he was doing. If Lan WangJi had never been drunk in the beginning and followed him all the way here, the situation would be even more awkward, especially with him not saying anything to Lan WangJi’s face and sneaking out to summon Wen Ning after Lan WangJi fell asleep.

Lan WangJi crossed his arms in front of him and held Bichen in them. His expression was particularly stiff. Wei WuXian had never seen him with such an obviously displeased expression on his face before. He felt that he needed to speak first and explain the situation, ease the atmosphere, “Ahem, HanGuang-Jun.”

Lan WangJi did not reply.

Standing in front of Wen Ning, Wei WuXian stared across at Lan WangJi. He touched his chin and, for some reason, felt exceptionally guilty.

Lan WangJi finally let down the hands that held Bichen and walked a few steps forward. Seeing that he went toward Wen Ning with a sword in his hand, Wei WuXian thought that he was going to kill Wen Ning, Oh no. Don’t tell me that Lan Zhan really pretended to be drunk so that he could kill Wen Ning after I summon him. Of course. Nobody actually gets drunk after just a bowl.

He blurted, “HanGuang-Jun, listen to me…”

With a loud smack, Lan WangJi hit Wen Ning.

Although it sounded quite strong, it didn’t actually do any damage. Wen Ning only staggered a few steps backward after the blow. He wobbled a bit and regained his balance, standing properly again with a blank face.

Wen Ning wasn’t in a state as easily angered as when he flipped out in the past, but his temper wasn’t too good either. During the night at Dafan Mountain, nobody could lay a sword on him before everyone was knocked down—he even held someone by his neck. If Wei WuXian didn’t stop him, he would’ve strangled every single one of the people at the scene. Yet, although Lan WangJi smacked him once, his head was still lowered, appearing as if he didn’t dare to resist. Wei WuXian thought that this was a bit strange, but he nevertheless felt relieved. If Wen Ning returned the strike and the two started fighting, it’d be even harder to intervene.

As if he didn’t think one smack was enough to express his rage, Lan WangJi pushed Wen Ning to about thirty feet away.

He spoke to Wen Ning in an annoyed voice, “Go away.”

Wei WuXian finally noticed that something was wrong.

Both the smack and the push, both his speech and actions were unusually… childish.

After he pushed Wen Ning so that he was far away enough, Lan WangJi seemed as if he was finally satisfied. He turned around walked over to Wei WuXian.

Wei WuXian looked at him scrutinizingly.

There wasn’t anything wrong with Lan WangJi’s face and expression.. He was even more serious, proper, flawless than usual. His face wasn’t flushed, his breathing wasn’t short. He walked around steadily with confidence. It looked like that he was still the calm, righteous cultivator, HanGuang-Jun.

But, as he looked down, he found that Lan WangJi’s boots were put on the wrong feet.

Before he left, he took Lan WangJi’s boots off and tossed them beside the bed. And, now, Lan WangJi’s left boot was on his right foot, while his right boot was on his left foot.

HanGuang-Ju, the prominent cultivator who valued manners greatly, would never have went outside with his clothes like this.

Wei WuXian asked tentatively, “HanGuang-Jun, what number is this?”

He made the number two with his fingers. Lan WangJi didn’t answer and reached his hands out. With one on the left and one on the right, he solemnly wrapped his hands around both of Wei WuXian’s fingers.

With a clang, Bichen fell to the ground due to its master’s negligence.

Wei WuXian, “…”

This definitely wasn’t the normal Lan Zhan!

Wei WuXian, “HanGuang-Jun, are you drunk?”

Lan WangJi, “No.”

Drunk people usually didn’t admit that they were drunk. Wei WuXian took his fingers back. Lan WangJi attentively maintained his gesture of how he grasped Wei WuXian’s fingers, with both of his hands in loose fists. Wei WuXian was utterly speechless. Standing amid the chilly night breeze, he removed his gaze from Lan WangJi, and looked up at the moon.

Most people became drunk before they slept, while Lan WangJi slept before he became drunk. And, when he was drunk, he looked no different from how he usually was, which was why it was hard to tell.

In the past, Wei WuXian had countless friends to drink with. He had seen hundreds and thousands of ways people acted when they were drunk. Some wailed loudly, others giggled idiotically, some flounced about, others collapsed immediately, some were determined in taking their own lives, others whimpered, “Why are you leaving me?” However, this was his first time seeing someone like Lan WangJi, who didn’t make any noise, looked decent, yet acted strangely.

The corners of his lips twitched. Trying not to laugh, he picked up Bichen from the ground and carried into onto his back, “Okay. Let’s go back.”

He definitely couldn’t let Lan WangJi roam around outside like this. Who knew what else he could do.

Luckily, it seemed that Lan WangJi was also quite easy-going when he was drunk. With an elegant nod, they went off. If someone passed by, they would’ve thought that these were two good friends strolling in the night and praised the refined act.

Behind them, Wen Ning silently followed. Just as Wei WuXian was about to speak to him, Lan WangJi whirled around and angrily smacked him once more. This time, it was on Wen Ning’s head.

Wen Ning’s head was even more lowered due to the smack. Even though his facial muscles were rigid and couldn’t make any sort of expressions, even though his eye whites couldn’t make any sort of gazes, for some reason, he still looked as if he had been wronged. Not knowing whether to frown or laugh, Wei WuXian grabbed Lan WangJi’s arm, “What are you hitting him for?”

Lan WangJi spoke to Wen Ning in a threatening tone that he definitely wouldn’t have used if he was awake, “Go away!”

Wei WuXian knew that he shouldn’t disobey someone who was drunk. He hurried, “Okay, okay. It’s up to you. I’ll make him go away if that’s what you want.” As he spoke, he took out his bamboo flute. But, before he even placed the flute to his lips, Lan WangJi quickly grabbed it, “Do not play for him.”

Wei WuXian teased, “Why are you so pushy?”

Lan WangJi repeated angrily, “Do not play for him!”

Wei WuXian discovered that, although people who were drunk often had a lot of things to say, as Lan WangJi usually didn’t like to speak, he would repeatedly say the same words after he drank. Seeing that Lan WangJi had never been too fond of demonic techniques, he might have not liked how he used his flute to control Wen Ning. Anyway, he had to pet him in the direction of his fur, of course, “Alright. I’m only going to play for you, okay?”

Lan WangJi announced his satisfaction with a mnn, but continued to play with the flute in his hands, unwilling to return it.

Wei WuXian could only whistle. He spoke to Wen Ning, “Keep on hiding. Make sure nobody finds you.”

Wen Ning seemed as if he really wanted to follow, but having received his commands and being scared that Lan WangJi would hit him a few more times, he slowly turned around. Dragging the chains behind him, he walked away dejectedly.

Wei WuXian turned to Lan WangJi, “Lan Zhan, now that you’re drunk, why doesn’t your face flush at all?”

Since Lan WangJi looked too normal, almost even more normal than Wei WuXian, he couldn’t help but to talk to him as if he was talking to an ordinary person. Yet, unexpectedly, after Lan WangJi heard this, he reached out, grabbed his shoulder, and pulled him into his arms.

Caught off guard, Wei WuXian’s head was slammed right into his chest.

As he recovered from the dizziness, Lan WangJi’s voice came from above, “The heartbeats.”

“What?”

Lan WangJi, “The face doesn’t show anything. Listen to the heartbeats.”

As he spoke, his chest vibrated from the low voice. A heart pulsated steadily and continuously. Thump, thump. It was a bit fast. Wei WuXian understood and looked up again, “I won’t be able to tell from your face, only if I listen to your heartbeat?”

Lan WangJi answered sincerely, “Mnn.”

Wei WuXian bent over in laughter.

Was Lan WangJi’s face so thick that the blush couldn’t even be seen? He wasn’t this sort of person, was he?

And, Lan WangJi was so honest after he was drunk. His actions and comments were also… bolder!

Since this was a rare occasion to see such an honest, open Lan WangJi, it would’ve been impossible for Wei WuXian to treat him with respect and not play any tricks.

He hurried Lan WangJi back to the inn. Entering the room, he held him down on the bed and took off the boots that were put on wrong. Guessing that he probably didn’t know how to wash his own face in such a state, he took off Lan WangJi’s forehead ribbon, and brought in a basin of hot water along with a towel. Wringing the towel out, he folded it into a square and gently rubbed Lan WangJi’s face.

During the process, Lan WangJi didn’t resist at all, obediently allowing his face to be kneaded in all kinds of directions. Aside from squinting when the towel went near his eyes, he stared at Wei WuXian without even blinking. Wei WuXian had a ton of amusing ideas inside his head. Seeing his clear gaze, he couldn’t help brushing a finger against Lan WangJi’s chin. He laughed, “Why are you looking at me? Am I good-looking?”

He just happened to have finished cleansing. Before Lan WangJi could answer, Wei WuXian tossed the towel into the basin, “Your face is clean now. Do you want to have some water first?”

Having heard no answer from behind him, he turned around only to see Lan WangJi holding the basin in his hands, his face already buried inside.

Wei WuXian almost paled from the shock. He grabbed the basin and moved it away at once, “I didn’t mean the water in here!”

Lan WangJi raised his head calmly. Transparent droplets of water rolled down his jaw, seeping into the front of his collars. Looking at him, Wei WuXian wasn’t sure how to describe what he was feeling right now, … Did he drink the water or did he not? Hopefully Lan Zhan doesn’t remember anything after he wakes up. Or else, for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t be able to face anyone.

Wei WuXian used his sleeves to wipe off the drops of water on Lan WangJi’s jaw and put his arms around him, “HanGuang-Jun. Now, are you going to do whatever I tell you to do?”

Lan WangJi, “Mnn.”

Wei WuXian, “You’ll answer whatever I ask you?”

Wei WuXian put one knee on the bed and smirked, “Okay. Let me ask you. Have you… secretly tasted the Emperor’s Smile you hid in your room?”

Lan WangJi, “No.”

Wei WuXian, “Do you like rabbits?”

Lan WangJi, “Yes.”

Wei WuXian, “Have you ever violated any rules before?”

Lan WangJi, “Yes.”

Wei WuXian, “Have you ever liked anyone?”

Lan WangJi, “Yes.”

All of Wei WuXian’s questions were just for the sake of them, not that he really wanted to find out about Lan WangJi’s private matters. He simply wanted to know whether or not Lan WangJi would really answer whatever he asked. He continued, “How about Jiang Cheng?”

A frown, “Hmph.”

Wei WuXian, “How about Wen Ning?”

Indifference, “Huh.”

Wei WuXian grinned and pointed at himself, “How about this one?”

Lan WangJi, “Mine.”

“…”

Lan WangJi stared at him, slowly and articulately stating, “Mine.”

Wei WuXian suddenly understood.

He took Bichen off his back, thinking to himself, When I pointed at myself, Lan Zhan probably thought that “this one” meant Bichen.

He got off the bed and walked around the room with Bichen in his hand, from the left to the right, from the East to the West. As he had expected, Lan WangJi’s gaze closely followed wherever he walked, ever so sincere and straightforward, ever so blunt and bare.

Wei WuXian’s legs almost gave out under Lan WangJi’s heated gaze. He lifted Bichen in front of his eyes, “Do you want it?”

Lan WangJi, “I want it.”

As if he thought that this wasn’t enough to prove his desire, Lan WangJi grasped the hand that Wei WuXian held Bichen with and stared into his eyes with those light-colored pupils. Taking in a soft breath, he repeated his words, emphasizing every syllable, “… I want it.”

Wei WuXian knew that Lan WangJi was desperately drunk, that it wasn’t directed at him, yet those three words still crashed into him, taking away the strength in his arms and legs.

He thought to himself, Lan Zhan, what a person… If he’s so sincere, enthusiastic towards a girl, then what a man he’d be!

Recovering from the blow, Wei WuXian asked again, “How did you recognize me? Why did you help me?”

Lan WangJi opened his mouth. Wei WuXian shifted a bit closer, wanting to hear his answer. However, Lan WangJi’s expression suddenly changed. With a shove, he pushed Wei WuXian onto the bed.

The candlelight was snuffed out with a wave of his hand. Bichen was thrown onto the ground by its master again.

Wei WuXian’s sight spun dizzily from the shove. He thought that Lan WangJi woke up, “Lan Zhan?!”

A familiar place behind his back was tapped once. His entire body felt sore and numb and he couldn’t move at all, similar to the first night at the Cloud Recesses. Lan WangJi took his hand away, lay down beside him, and put the blanket over them, carefully tucking in the blanket corner on Wei WuXian’s side, “It is nine. Rest.”

So, after all, it was the scary bedtime routine of the Lan Sect.

With the interrogation having been cut off, Wei WuXian stared at the ceiling, “Can’t we rest and chat at the same time?”

Lan WangJi, “No.”

… Oh well. Someday, there’d be a chance to get Lan WangJi drunk again. The answer would be revealed sooner or later.

Wei WuXian, “Lan Zhan. Remove it. I got us two rooms. We don’t need to be crammed in the same bed.”

After pausing for a moment, Lan WangJi’s hand came over and, after fumbling around in the blanket for a while, started to slowly untie the ribbons holding his clothes together. Wei WuXian exclaimed, “Okay! Enough! I didn’t mean for you to remove it in this sense!!! Alright!!! Sure! I’m lying down and I’m sleeping!!!”

A dead silence filled the darkness.

After keeping quiet for a while, Wei WuXian spoke again, “I finally understand why your sect prohibits liquor. You collapse after just one bowl and can’t tell good liquor from bad liquor. If everyone from the Lan Sect is like this when they’re drunk, you deserve to be prohibited from drinking. Anyone who drinks should be beaten up.”

With closed eyes, Lan WangJi raised his hand and covered Wei WuXian’s mouth.

He shushed, “Shh.”

The breath that Wei WuXian was about to take got stuck between his chest and his mouth, unable to come up or go down.

It seemed that, ever since he came back, whenever he decided to tease Lan WangJi like how he did in the past, he always suffered from his own actions.

This shouldn’t have been the case! Where exactly did he go wrong?!

Translator’s Notes

Here’s a hilarious comment that I found, favored by the author herself:

Speaking of it, the name of Wei Ying’s (Wei WuXian’s) friend who weeps and asks “why are you leaving me?” when drunk is Luo BingHe, isn’t he?

(Confused, much? Check out the author’s first work, The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System)