Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
As the winds blew strongly, Yong’er turned around with tears in her eyes. “Mother? What’s wrong?”
Yushu forced a smile and replied, “Nothing much. It’s just the wind.”
The wind suddenly subsided. Yushu looked up in suspicion, seeing an upright figure standing above her, blocking the wind off. A cliff was situated in front. The man stood there as his sleeves were lifted by the wind. The snowflakes fluttered about. Although he stood near her, he seemed ever so distant.
“Mother? Mother? What’s wrong?” Yong’er called out to her desperately, seeing that she was in a daze.
Yushu, knowing that she had wandered off emotionally, turned around and said, “It’s nothing. Yong’er, pay your respects to your father.”
The child opened his eyes wide and said, “I already did.”
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Yushu nodded and threw the last bunch of hell bank notes into the furnace. She bowed three times and stood up.
“Are you done?” a low voice boomed out from the front. Yushu looked down and nodded. Yan Xun continued, “Let’s go together then.”
Yushu, not daring to object, nodded honestly and obliged.
Yan Xun walked up and held Yong’er’s hand as he smiled and asked, “You know how to ride a horse already?” Over ten guards rushed forward to clear up the sacrificial offerings, while others flanked and guarded both sides.
Yong’er entered and exited the palace frequently. As Yan Xun treated him well, he was not daunted by the fact that he was the most powerful man in the world. He held his hand and looked up, answering with a smile, “Yes, Uncle Jiang taught me. However, I’m still too young. I can’t ride big horses, but only small ponies.”
Yan Xun laughed and replied, “When your father was your age, he didn’t know how to ride a horse. You’re better than him.”
“Ah? Is that true?” Yong’er was stunned as his eyes widened. “Was Father that stupid?”
Yan Xun continued joyfully, “Your father could do everything else from poetry to reading. It’s just that he didn’t know how to ride a horse. He got his skills from me.”
“Wow, doesn’t that make Your Majesty my father’s teacher? Your Majesty, can you teach me? I want to ride a big horse. I don’t want to ride a small pony anymore. That small horse that Uncle Jiang used to teach me is too lousy. It doesn’t know how to run. It can only walk.”
“You’re still too young for that. However, I can teach you something else.”
“Your Majesty, what else do you know? Cricket fights?”
“I know a lot more.”
“Your Majesty, you’re bluffing. My cricket is invincible. Even the second prince’s cricket had its leg bitten off by mine.”
…
On the narrow stone pavement, the two of them walked together side by side, as they chatted joyfully in the snowy weather. Yushu followed behind as she looked at the two of them. Dreamily, she thought of her husband. If he was still alive, this would have probably been him in Yan Xun’s place right now. Perhaps, in his free time, he would have brought Yong’er out for a stroll, telling him about stories of how his friends messed up when they were young, then bragging about his smartness when he was young. Perhaps, it would have been like this.
She suddenly felt sad. Although she was an innocent lady who only knew how to take care of her husband and child, she was not oblivious to what was happening outside.
These years, in particular, the most recent period of two years, many other princes were born, but the emperor did not particularly dote on one son. Subconsciously, she understood that as the Yan empire had been recently established, the political scene within had not stabilized. There were still small-scale conflicts in the north. Furthermore, Yan had promised that its future ruler would be the son of the Empress. Hence, even if the empress had not given birth yet, the emperor could not get too close to any of his other sons, for fear of gossip. After all, the officials of Song still held some power in court.
His biological sons had probably not seen him speaking in such a gentle manner. Although his biological sons were right in front of him, he could not get close to them. Perhaps, his heart was sad as well.
Yushu sighed to herself. A group of birds flew over from the forests, their wings making rustling sounds. She looked up as the icy wind blew onto her face. Sounds of laughter drifted from the front.
In a palace far away, Nalan Hongye threw a flower letterhead into the fire, watching it turn to ashes. Suddenly, she seemingly heard the winds from the southeastern directions. She was dressed in a striking outfit as she stood upright. However, her shoulders started to sag as she felt increasingly fatigued. The sunlight shone on her body, revealing the specks of dust flying about in mid-air.
Everything was changing, but her lonely shadow remained as lonely even after all these years.
“Xuan Mo, it’s been another year.” She managed a quick, silent smile.
It was windy outside. The physician which took her pulse had just left when Aunt Yun visited her. She bowed to Nalan Hongye, but did not get up.
Nalan Hongye smiled bitterly and asked, “Aunt, what’s wrong?”
Aunt Yun was getting on in years. Her hair had turned white, while her face had turned wrinkly. Her eyes looked lifeless usually, but at this moment, they brightened up. She looked sharply at Nalan Hongye and said in a low voice, “Your Majesty has visited Yanxi Mountains again.”
Nalan Hongye smiled quietly, nodded, and answered, “Xuan Mo has contributed greatly to the empire. Your Majesty is showing appreciation to his officials. Isn’t this a good thing?”
It was quiet in the palace. Aunt Yun knelt at her original position as she looked at her quietly, without saying a word. Her look was not stern, but it managed to wipe the facade that Nalan Hongye had put up.
She sighed helplessly and answered with a bitter smile, “Aunt, what do you want? I’m doing well now. Your Majesty has not gone back on his word. Why are you inviting extra trouble?”
“But, Your Majesty hates you!” Aunt Yun suddenly exclaimed, agitated. “He hates you for monopolizing Lord Xuan’s military power, for mobilizing his personal troops, for dispatching him to the Eastern seas, for intercepting Lord Xuan’s last letter to him. He thinks that Lord Xuan is his real buddy that has helped him all these years. He has hated you all this while. Don’t you realize?”
“Yes, he hates me to the core.” Nalan Hongye smiled with joy as she continued, “Aunt, look. He’s not a heartless person. He still treats me, his sworn brother, well.”
“Princess!” Aunt Yun could no longer contain her anger as she got to her feet, supporting herself with her crutch.
Nalan Hongye coughed lightly twice, sighed helplessly, and replied, “Aunt, you’re getting old. Why is your temper still so fiery?”
Aunt Yun remained silent and looked at her firmly.
Nalan Hongye maintained her smile, which was bittersweet.
“Aunt, what do you want me to do? Use this as a bargaining chip and get some favors from Your Majesty? Aunt, what do you take me for? A person that loses her dignity when the country falls?”
Aunt Yun was stunned. The candlelight shone on her old face, revealing a helpless vicissitude.
“I am not living for myself, but for the thousands of people associated with the royal family. With the title of empress, and Your Majesty’s affection towards Xuan Mo, our officials will not have an overly hard time.”
Aunt Yun frowned and argued, “If Your Majesty knows the truth, he will treat you well. There’s no difference.”
“There’s a difference.” Nalan Hongye turned around and smiled.
“You know it too.”
The smoke from the incense circled around in the air. As night fell, the palace appeared desolate and cold. She turned around and walked, step by step, into the palace, not turning back.
“Xuan Mo and he are good friends, and only so. Once the relationship changes from brotherly love to romantic love, it ceases to exist.”
The golden palace gates opened with a creak. Nalan Hongye stood upright in the lonely palace as she looked at the scenery in front of her. She clenched and unclenched her fists, seemingly letting go and acknowledging some things.
She told herself, What if you told him? He wouldn’t love you, but feel like he owes you only.
It turned out that admitting this truth was such a simple thing to do.
She was a kind and classy lady, talented as always. All her life, she had embroiled herself in the political scene, manipulating other people. She knew that everything she did for her self-interests and then hiding it thereafter was because even if she revealed everything, she would not be able to get his concern and care.
Rather than receive his feelings of gratefulness and guilt and continuing to fight for his attention, she chose to let him, and herself, off.
She understood long ago that some things in this world could not be forced. She knew that the human heart was the strongest shackle in this world. Just like Xuan Mo towards her and her towards Yan Xun, the feelings were all the same. Once they were trapped, they would be unable to break free.
“Princess! If you want to protect the officials of Song, the best way is to give birth to a child! Five years! It’s been five years!”
As the palace doors closed, Aunt Yun’s agitated voice was drowned out. Wen Yuan took her leave with the other servants, leaving her all alone once again. She walked calmly to one side, taking her seat as she used her hand to support herself against a golden pillar, pouring out some liquid for herself. As the black colored medicine flowed out, she swallowed it mouthful by mouthful, disregarding the fact that it was bitter. The medicine was still warm, as rings of smoke rose from the cup. She brushed her fingertips against the flower patterns on the cup, which was warm to the touch, just like her wedding night, where she touched his skin.
“I only have buddies on an equal footing, not a husband who has his heart full of other women. I am the eldest princess of Song, Nalan Hongye.”
In the silence, a low voice boomed out. She opened up her eyes as tears streamed down her face onto her wrists. There were only two drops. She sat there like this for an entire night.
The next day, Aunt Yun passed away due to illness. Yan Xun decreed personally that Aunt Yun was to be posthumously promoted from a second level official to a third level official. As she was unmarried, her mother’s family was rewarded with riches, enough for her descendants to live their lives in luxury.
On the day of Aunt Yun’s funeral, Nalan Hongye stood on the top of the western city gates of Zhen Huang. She was dressed in a dark-colored outfit, complemented with a golden crown on her head. She looked at the entourage making its way out of the city, towards the south.
The deceased returned to their hometown, marking a closure to their lives. Five years ago, Aunt Yun left her hometown, together with Nalan Hongye, for this snowy land. Presently, her princess had grown up. She was no longer the young child who would cry in her embrace. She could finally let go of everything and leave in peace.
That evening, it snowed again. Her maidservants draped a thick cloak over her, but she still felt cold. Her face appeared pale and frail as she stood alone on top of the city gates, like a frozen statue.