Chapter 69

I am thankful for him for healing my throat, and I could say that it made me really happy because it was a rather unexpected kindness offered by the tyrant himself. It was something I will be grateful for the rest of my life.

Which was why I made sure to cooperate in any way I can, considering the fact that being here was more frustrating compared to staying in the imperial palace. Being stuck in one room all the time proved to be suffocating. At least there were a few people back in the imperial palace who knew my face, unlike here where I felt like a trapped bird.

Here in the central temple, the emperor and Lina were the only ones I could talk to and because of this poorly constructed bedroom that had no personal bathroom, I had to go out on my own to look for one and I can’t even begin to explain how nerve wracking it was!

And thank goodness I made it back to my room.

Thoughts after thoughts filled my mind and anger soon followed suit. What does he want me to do? Fuming on my spot, I clenched my fists so tightly my nails marked my skin. I couldn’t seem to get anything right. There was nothing I could do here. Aside from the frustrating measures I had to follow, I felt like I was also slowly losing myself in the process. It turns out there was nothing different from the cage I’m trapped in now to the one I’m trapped in back in my previous life.

I am not a doll!

Unable to rein in my overwhelming emotions, big tears began to fall from my eyes in a downpour.

“Iona?”

The emperor was visibly uneasy at seeing me cry. He tried to reach out to me but I hastily stood up from my seat and shun away from his touch.

Don’t touch me! My balled fists were shaking at my sides. I bit my lower lip, but I knew I had to tell the truth. This was the only way we’d be able to fix the misunderstanding that’s engulfing us both. I didn’t know how much more angry the tyrant would get, but I have to do this not only for my own life, but for the lives of other people here in the Temple as well.

I had so much to say and I don’t know where to start. But I decided to say the first thing that came into my mind, “I didn’t run away, Your Majesty.”

My voice came out broken and raspy. I didn’t put much thought in my words since it was what I truly felt anyway,

“I only went out because I had to go to the bathroom. I was going to come back right away. I am aware of my role as a doll of His Majesty, so you don’t have to worry about me running away.” I stopped, taking in a lungful of air before continuing, “I’ll faithfully abide by my duties as a doll until you no longer need me anymore.”

When the words I’ve been meaning to say finally came tumbling out, I briefly shut my mouth and took another deep breath. My trembling arms were starting to ache, either from being extremely nervous or angry, I’m not entirely sure.

The emperor looked at me with a surprised look on his face. His eyes were wide open, and his mouth was slightly agape. It seemed like I caught him off guard with my reaction.

I flushed under his intent staring. Why does he look so shocked? Was my sudden behavior that surprising? Is it because I am not a real doll?

I only pretended to be a doll, specifically someone else, just to survive. It’s not who I truly am, and to be honest, I am still angry from the way he was still treating me like a doll while calling my name.

Wasn’t he aware that all this time I am only acting as someone else? It doesn’t matter whether you believed it or not, but I am not a doll!

Uncontrollable anger filled my depths and my limbs began to shake again. The feelings I kept deep inside were swirling, wanting to come out in the open like a devastating storm. My heart felt cold, and it was so hard to breathe.

You call me by name and yet you still treat me like a doll. Even if I’m worried sick about you, it doesn’t matter since none of it won’t mean anything to you.

I rubbed my tears roughly with the back of my hand. My chest has been aching ever since I saw him today.

Why on earth did I volunteer to stay by his side?

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