“CSILLE LAURETRÉ, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?” I froze on the spot. Oh no! Why does it always happen?

   I slowly move away from Princess Paislee and looks back at Prince Fraser. He’s standing at the door and glaring at me.

   I looked at Princess Paislee and pretended to be oblivious to what is happening. “Prince Fraser?”

   He walks towards me and grabs my arms. “What are you doing in Farren’s room, Csille?”

   I tried to let go from his grip, but every time I will do so, his grip will become tighter. “Prince Fraser, can you let me go? My arm is hurting.”

   He let go of me instantly. He looks at my arms and sighs. “I’m sorry, I- I.” He combs his hair and turns his back at me.

   “Prince Fraser, are you okay?” I tried to touch his arms, but he flinched and stepped back away from me.

   He shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he said before leaving the room. Leaving me confused about what just happened.

   Fraser? What is happening to you?

_____________

    I am currently in the garden. Enjoying the ray of the sun and the beauty of the flowers.

   Hmm, it’s really refreshing to recuperate with nature. I felt like I am being healed and cleansed. I walk towards the Camellia flowers. It’s the same kind of flowers Prince Fraser gave me before he went to his first training. I smiled at the thought and smelled it.

Prince Fraser? My smile immediately fades when I remember what happened in Princess Paislee’s room. Why did the Crown Prince act that way? I really don’t understand. No matter how I think about it, it still doesn’t make sense for me.

And the doctors, they all look suspicious. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think talking to my father will solve anything. If my father knows the identity of Princess Paislee, I don’t know what will happen to her.

I sit on the chair at the side of the garden. There is a chair and table there. I put the notebook I am holding on the table. It’s no the same notebook that the little girl gave me. It’s just an ordinary notebook.

I am planning to write what I’ve written in the notebook. I don’t know why but every time, I will think about what I write. I don’t remember everything. It’s probably because I am just sharing this body with the real Csille. And the brain tends to forget those memories that seem like unimportant to give space to new memories.

I started writing the scenes after the accident happened. What did happen afterward again?

Prince Fraser’s training got canceled, and the King ordered the Crown Prince and the Lauretré family to come back to the Capital. Prince Fraser and Sir Farren reside with the Lauretré family while waiting for the ship to arrive.

   Princess Paislee’s condition wasn’t supposed to be unstable. In the novel, she was shot in the appendix, but she didn’t lose too much blood to be unconscious. So, how come she become unstable?

   Two days after the accident, Princess Paislee will be conscious, and Prince Fraser will stay at her side to show gratitude to her. It’s two days now. Seeing how Prince Fraser gives attention to Farren, Csille will get mad. She will start to linger around Prince Fraser and will try not to let Prince Fraser be with Farren.

This makes Prince Fraser irritated with Csille. He will try his best to push Csille away from him. This will happen for a week. After the ship arrives, the Count and the Countess will scold Csille for bothering the Crown Prince. Because of this, Prince Fraser and Farren will have time to talk to each other.

After they come back to the Capital, the King will reward Farren, and he will become a knight in the Vrawyth. And since the summer break is already over, Prince Fraser and Csille will go back to the dormitory to continue their studies. Farren will accompany the Crown Prince and will enroll too at the Vrawyth High School of the Nobles.

   “Csille!” I got startled when I heard someone talk from behind me. I immediately close the notebook and hide it from my back.

   I look back and see Doctor Marcus standing behind me. Doctor Marcus? He walks towards me and sits on the chair in front of me. He starts to pour tea into the teacup and casually takes a sip at it.

   “Farren is conscious now. I thought you want to know that’s why I find you. What are you,” he looks at the thing I am hiding at my back.

   I immediately stand up. “It’s a good thing he’s awake now. I’ll better check on him. I will leave you alone then, Doctor Marcus.”

   Doctor Marcus was supposed to reply to me, but I immediately turn my back at him and walk as fast as I can.

   This Doctor Marcus isn’t good news. I better not talk to him in the meantime. I know he knows something. He definitely knows something, and he’s probably suspicious about me too. So, it’s better not to associate myself with him for the time being.

_____________

   “I’m okay, your majesty, Prince Fraser.” I heard Princess Paislee said with her manly voice.

   I was about to enter her room when I heard what she said. Prince Fraser? Prince Fraser is inside? So, my novel is really starting now. Then, would I lose control over my body again?

   Csille will bother Prince Fraser for the whole week. Jeez, if I know I will be Csille, I wouldn’t have written about this. I’m cringing by the thought of it.

   I was startled when Prince Fraser snapped out. It’s the same line. It’s a scene I’ve written in my novel. Prince Fraser got mad because Farren keeps saying, your majesty at him.

   “I told you to stop calling me your majesty. Fraser, it’s just Fraser. You could call me that.”

   I heard movements from the inside. Prince Fraser probably helps Farren to sit up. I want to look. This shouts bl! Just like in my novel. I really want to take a look. When I was writing this scene, I was so eager to see this in real life. My fujoshi heart couldn’t stand not looking at the scene.

    I tried to push the door, but my arms wouldn’t move. Of course, how could I forget? I’ve written this scene, so of course, I wouldn’t have full control over my body. But I just want to take a look at it. I want to see how Prince Fraser assists Farren to sit up, and then they will stare at each other. Oh, my fujoshi heart.

“You’re the Crown Prince. How can I just casually call you Fraser?”

“You’re just like Csille. You don’t ever listen to me.” I heard him sigh. “Just call me Prince Fraser if it will make you comfortable. Just don’t call me your majesty.”

Princess Paislee agreed. I heard movements inside again. Prince Fraser is probably peeling some apples for Princess Paislee.

“Let me do that.”

“What? This? No, I could handle this. Just stay still and let me peel this for you. You’re probably hungry by now. I’ve asked the maid to cook some soup for you. For now, fill your hunger with this apple.”

   I heard peeling sounds. Omo, I really want to see it. Csille, let me peek, okay? Just for a minute, please. However, Csille doesn’t listen to me. I couldn’t still move my hands. Ugh, boomer. You’re such a boomer, Csille. You can’t even appreciate bl.

“Let me take that. I’ll just-” I heard Princess Paislee said. However, Prince Fraser cuts her off.

“No, let me feed you. Just stay put there.”

Omg! It’s the scene I’ve written. Ahh, I’m itching to see it live. Come on, Csille, let me just take a peek, okay? It’s bl! It’s bl! I’ve written this scene because I’m really a great fan of BL. Although I know Princess Paislee is a woman. Prince Fraser doesn’t know about this and still thought that Farren is really a man.

I was too engrossed listening to their conversation when I saw a maid walking up the stairs. I immediately walk towards my bedroom.

   Whoah! That was close. I thought Csille wouldn’t let me move. It’s a good thing that I can. But why? I thought I couldn’t move if I write it?

   I sit on the bed and think. Is it because in that scene it’s only Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee are in there. And I couldn’t move my hands because they thought I would do something against what I’ve written? But I just want to peek. I wouldn’t dare to disturb them. Like come on, it’s one of the greatest dreams of fujoshi’s to see their favorite characters interact. Although I know Princess Paislee is in disguise, I couldn’t contain my excitement. She is still in her male character. So, you could still consider it as BL. Ahhh, I want to see.

   What’s the next scene again? Oh, it’s when Prince Fraser spoon feed, Farren. I cover my face with my hands. Ahhh. It’s that scene. I need to see it. I badly want to see it.

“Csille, please cooperate with me this time. I beg of you.”

I immediately walk outside my room. I look around first to see if someone is around. All clear. I instantly walk towards Farren’s room and put my ears on the door. I could hear them talking. Oh, it’s happening.

“Prince Fraser, you don’t really need to do this. I could eat on my own.”

Omo, he’s really spoon feeding Farren. Ahh, Prince Fraser, why are you like that? You sound so cute together. I couldn’t take this. My fujoshi’s heart.

“Let me do this. The doctor said not to let you move too much or else your stitches will open up.” I heard Prince Fraser said.

Omo, he’s insisting. Oh, dom. I didn’t know he’s a dom. Farren just let Prince Fraser do it. I couldn’t see what’s happening inside, but I’ve written this scene so I could imagine it in my mind.

I heard the clicking of the spoon and the bowl. I tried to move my hand to push the door. And I did. I did push the door. I peek inside.

   I saw Farren sitting up and leaning on the bed post. While Prince Fraser is seated beside him and spoon feeding Farren. I look at Farren’s face, and it’s all flushed. I don’t know how Prince Fraser could continue feeding Farren without getting awkward.

   Like, come on, Farren’s face is so red that he looks like he puts a blush on. He’s flustered. I look at Prince Fraser. Unlike Farren’s reddish face, his face looks normal. He still has an expressionless face.

   I pout. He’s no fun. Come on, how could you not be affected by this? Are you even a man? The person you’re feeding is flustered, and here you are, still continue feeding him like it’s a normal thing.

   I looked up when I heard footsteps coming near me. I see some maids walking upstairs. I silently closed the door and walked towards my room like nothing happened.

   I jump on my bed and cover my face with a pillow. Ahhh, I shouted. My heart is beating so fast right now. That was fantastic! I couldn’t believe I could witness those bl scenes I’ve written.

If there’s one thing I don’t regret writing, it’s this scene and the other BL scenes. Come to think of it. It wasn’t that bad being a villainess. At least, I could see these interactions between the two leads.

I rolled on the bed. My mind keeps replaying the scene between Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee’s male disguise, Farren. They look so cute together. Ahh, I want to take a picture of them together and post it on my wall so I could see it every day.

I look at my study table and saw the notebook I was writing the scenes that would happen. I get up and walk towards the study table.

I pouted. The BL scenes are short lived. After that, Csille will get in between them. Bothering Prince Fraser and Farren everytime she will see them together. I couldn’t even understand why would Csille be jealous of Farren. If I were Csille, I would probably the first one supporting them.

“You’re no fun, Csille. That’s why Prince Fraser doesn’t want you.” I shake my head and sit on the chair. “Can you just let them be? I wanna see those BL interactions again.”

I slumped my head on the study table and closed my eyes. My mind suddenly remembers that silhouette man told me in my dreams.

  “It will happen. You can never change their destiny. You can never change your destiny.”

   I sigh and open my eyes. Okay, okay, I understand. But can you just let me enjoy these moments? It’s rare for me to see BL interactions in real life.