His mother’s words stayed with Chu Yun long after she had left. He always thought he and Chu Hean were close, as close as any siblings could be. But now that he thought about it, it had been a long time since they had a conversation about something that wasn’t the mundanes comings and goings of the palace, or gossip from the capital.

Compared with the day before, the mood in the estate was very subdued, with many of the servants stopping all conversations when they saw Chu Yun approach.

He wanted to go see Chu Hean, but he knew he would be meeting with the physician soon, and didn’t want to disturb him.

Chu Yun was sitting on the sill of one of the moon windows in the main courtyard, lost in his own thoughts, when his father approached him. At first he had thought that being surrounded by nature would calm his troubled mind, when that didn’t happen, he just stayed where he was for lack of a better place to go. Xiao Zai might be anywhere in the palace, and Chu Yun didn’t want to bump into him.

“What are you doing here?” his father asked, taking a seat next to Chu Yun. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Your brother is fine, his season is over, and he wants to talk with you.”

Chu Yun nodded. “I’ll go see him.”

Before he could stand up his father held him back by the crook of his arm. “How are things in Zui? Have you been treated well?”

He considered mentioning that the Zui king was making him and Xiao Zai live in the dilapidated estate of a traitor, and that Xiao Zai’s dam-father was possible responsible for the late Queen Consort’s death.

In the end he didn’t want to worry his father. “I can’t complain, Xiao Zai isn’t favoured but he treats me well.”

His father sighed, letting out a huge, relieved breath. “You know, this business with your brother, it got me worried…I’m glad he isn’t being cruel to you, but you need to remember you’re at a disadvantage.”

He patted the back of Chu Yun’s hand. “I know you’re proud, but you need to keep your head down next to those wolves. We still don’t know what merited this marriage, and your uncle well..,” he shook his head, “beside the gifts for your dowry we haven’t heard from him.”

That wasn’t surprising to Chu Yun, his uncle was merely glad to have removed him. There was nothing else to be said between them.

“We’re very proud of you, you know?” his father said suddenly, his voice oddly heavy. “I’ve often wondered if I and your mother have spoiled you too much, but you accepted your duty with dignity and honoured our family.”

“Papa…,”Chu Yun’s voice trembled. He wished he wasn’t a married man so he could hug his father and let him pet his head, as he had done so often when Chu Yun was younger.

His father rubbed the bridge of his noise to wipe away the water lining his eyes discreetly. “This isn’t what we wanted for you, and I suspect it wasn’t what you wanted either, but I hope you can find a modicum of happiness in the life fate laid out for you.”

Chu Yun nodded. “I will, papa, I’ll find a way.”

His father patted the back of his hand again. “Good, that’s good,” he cleared his throat, schooling his features back into neutrality. “Well, go check on your brother, he’ll be happy to see you.”

—

Chu Yun found his brother resting in bed, covered in his duvet up to the nose, and surrounded by all kinds of food.

“Dage, I’m so embarrassed,” he said as soon as he saw Chu Yun, and pulled the duvet further up his nose. “I need to apologise to you and brother-in-law for my behaviour yesterday.”

Chu Yun took a seat next to him on the bed, making him scoot a little to the side to give him space. “Does that mean that he didn’t do anything…I mean, he didn’t try to uh…”

His brother shook his head, grimacing. “No, ah, I’m afraid I was the one who approached him, I have no idea why. I remember he was very adamant I leave.”

To Chu Yun’s surprise, hearing those words out of Chu Hean’s mouth lifted a great weight off his shoulders. He slumped bonelessly against the headboard with a loud sigh.

“Good, that means I won’t have to kill him.” Actually, it meant that he owed Xiao Zai an apology, but he was so relieved that even the prospect of grovelling wasn’t that terrible.

“I’m really sorry to have caused trouble, and you’re almost leaving too,” Chu Hean’s face fell. “Maybe I should have stayed at the academy instead of coming here during my season.”

The mention of the academy immediately perked Chu Yun’s interest. “Mother tells me you’re really interested in your classes lately.”

Chu Hean hummed noncommittally. “I think it’s not a good for me to be near alphas, maybe I should spend more time at the academy like the other disciples.”

That came out of nowhere. Chu Yun looked searchingly into Chu Hean’s sweet peach blossom eyes. “Be honest with me. Did you go out and find Xiao Zai on purpose yesterday?”

Chu Hean looked up at him, his eyes wide and guileless. “Of course not, but maybe I lose control of my pheromones around alphas? Who knows, I’ve heard some other omegas complain about it.” He sighed. “All the more reason to stay up at the academy, right?”

“Right,” Chu Yun agreed, standing up from the bed. “Well, I’ll let you rest. We’ll see each other later.”

Chu Yun left his brother’s room in a complicated mood. In all their years together, Chu Yun had no memory of Chu Hean ever lying to him, yet he was sure he’d just done it now.

He just didn’t understand why.

He owed Xiao Zai more than an apology, but he needed to find him first.