Chu Yun was stunned still by A-Xiang’s distress, but Xiao Zai immediately kicked himself into action. He picked up A-Xiang into his arms and rushed back into the little house.

The elderly woman went pale the moment she saw Xiao Zai walk in into the house. In a surprising show of strength she cleared everything off the table with a sweep or her arm, so that Xiao Zai could deposit A-Xiang there.

Chu Yun watched as he propped her on her side and massaged her back, all the while speaking softly, “It’s okay, A-Xiang is fine, breathe slowly in and out, look Granny Han is here too.”

His tone was mellow and even, his hands steady on A-Xiang’s back. 

Chu Yun was paralysed by fear, standing in the doorway uselessly. He desperately wanted to help, but had no idea how.

Slowly, under the stream of Xiao Zai’s reassuring words, A-Xiang’s breathing slowed down, and that terrible, rattling sound stopped.

Her small chest still heaved up and down frantically, but some colour had returned to her face. 

“Gege,” she asked, her voice thin and raspy, “I’m okay now, don’t worry.” She reached towards Xiao Zai’s face with her small hand, and something in Chu Yun’s chest seized.

Xiao Zai grabbed her hand and kissed her palm loudly, making silly smacking sounds until she giggled.

Granny Han let out a relieved laugh and clapped her hands together. “I’m going to make something for us to eat. Young miss must be tired after all the excitement.”

—

They ate steamed rabbit meat buns, washed down with some herbal tea Granny Han picked from the little garden in front of the house.

A-Xiang was bubbly and chatty through the entire meal, talking with her brother about everything new she had learned in his absence, every once in a while she would try to rope in Chu Yun into the conversation. He always answered but he was still reeling from the earlier shock. 

He couldn’t get the image of A-Xiang struggling to breathe out of his mind.

Eventually, Xiao Zai announced they had to go, but would be back soon to pay A-Xiang a visit.

“Will papa come, too?” she asked, looping her thin arms around Xiao Zai’s neck. 

“He will, I’ll tell him you miss him.”

A-Xiang beamed. “Granny Han said my calligraphy is improving, and I want to show papa!”

Chu Yun said his goodbyes as well, still shaken up from what he’d seen. A-Xiang was very lively, and well-spoken, but she couldn’t be older than six years. The unfairness of such a small child dealing with such serious health issues, on top of the injustice of her birth, struck him.

On the trip back, Xiao Zai kept pace with Chu Yun, keeping to a steady trot. 

Chu Yun was lost in his thoughts, but eventually he couldn’t hold in his curiosity any longer. “A-Xiang…is her condition serious?”

He knew before Xiao Zai nodded, that it was. There was no way for someone to choke like that on their own breath if it wasn’t serious.

“She’s been very frail since birth,” Xiao Zai said, his grip steady on the reins, and his gaze focused on the horizon. “The physicians don’t know what’s wrong with her, and despite several attempts no one has found a cure.”

He sighed. “Some medicine helps keep her breathing issues in check, but she still gets these ‘spells’…as our dam calls them.”

Chu Yun imagined that A-Xiang was unable to walk for reasons related to her breathing condition as well, but he didn’t probe. It was obvious that despite the brave face he put in front of her, Xiao Zai was shaken up as well.

“Do they happen often?”

“Only when she’s very anxious, or very excited,” he smiled sadly. “She was happy you came, she loves meeting new people.”

Chu Yun felt terrible that his presence had set off another of A-Xiang’s crisis. “I’m sorry, I-“

He was clutching the reins tightly between his stiff fingers when a warm hand settled over his. Chu Yun was surprised to see Xiao Zai reach towards him from his seat on the saddle. 

He smiled at the confused look on Chu Yun’s face.

“It’s not your fault, it wouldn’t be fair to deprive her of the things that make her happy just because of her illness,” he shook his head. “That wouldn’t be a life at all. She’s already….” he cut himself short but Chu Yun could guess at the rest of his sentence.

“Is that village a place to keep bastard children out of sight?” Chu Yun winced at the way the words sounded, but there really wasn’t a way to make them any kinder. 

A muscle jumped in Xiao Zai’s jaw, but he nodded. He turned to look at Chu Yun, the elegant lines of his neck exposed. “I took you to meet A-Xiang so that you know I trust you. Gu Wei knows about it, and accepted it. Please know that A-Xiang is very special to us both.”

Chu Yun hummed. It was obvious from the way he handled her. “Who is her sire?”

Xiao Zai’s hands tightened on the reins until his knuckles turned white. “That’s not important, and please don’t ask my dam about it.”

Chu Yun doubted Gu Wei would tell him anything even if he did, but he had his own ideas. All signs pointed to A-Xiang being the First Prince’s daughter. If the First Prince knew about her existence or not, was a different story.

—

Xiao Zai was putting both their horses away when Chu Yun surprised him by bringing up his rut.

“It’s tomorrow, right?” 

Xiao Zai nodded, and amended, “Tomorrow night.”

Something passed over Chu Yun’s face, as if he was having a silent conversation with himself, and then he lifted his eyes and met Xiao Zai’s. “What do you usually…do?”

Xiao Zai grit his teeth. “Nothing, I handle it.”

Chu Yun sucked his lower lip between his teeth, as if in commiseration. “I’ll go to your room, I’ll help you.”

Xiao Zai looked away from his fox eyes and his red lips, shaking his head to clear his muddied thoughts.. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”