Volume 16, Chapter 4: Intro – Dark Clouds

Ringringringring.

At my ear, the alarm clock that I had kept for 10 years rang.

I wordlessly extended my hand, roughly and apathetically pushing the button and ending the ringing.

Because I used too much force it fell from my table. Ring! It rang for the last time. It has been trained by me on countless occasions, so it’s not weak enough to be destroyed by something of this degree.

“…Already 6 huh…”

In the end I welcomed morning without being able to sleep for more than two hours. I didn’t remember why I changed to the pajamas I was stripping out of. Then I headed towards the sink in my underwear. On the way I picked up my clock and realized that the cover that had been sealed with cellophane tape was opened and a battery had fallen out.

“Looks like I was a bit too rough. I’ll be careful tomorrow so forgive me.”

After that, I carried my feet to the mirror.

“I’m making a, heavy face…”

It’s not too bad, but I can’t show my face in front of the students like this. I’ve been having particularly rough sleep here for the past few days, and a layer of eye bags is standing out.

I carefully washed my face and arranged cosmetic products that I don’t usually use. The fact that I’m out of form… no, I can’t let the students know the fact that I’m cranky.

As I was taking the bottle of skin lotion in my hand, I unintentionally made eye contact with myself in the mirror.

“How unsightly.”

For whatever reason I touched my cheek.

The sensation and flexibility that was conveyed from my fingertips was incomparable to my student days.

“I’ve grown old too.”

No more than over 10 years, but still over 10 years.

I was inevitably made to realize that every tomorrow only amounted to such.

“Such a thing, is a trifling problem huh…”

It’s not as if I’ve even grasped the flow of time by now. I have always understood.

I started moving again, opened the bottle and started applying makeup.

It will arrive someday.

I’ve understood that from the moment I decided to become a teacher.

I should understand, but the truth is that I haven’t been able to prepare.

“Calm down. This isn’t my fight. It’s different from the situation of that time. This class can also clear this without incident. Yes, that should be right. It’s useless to be nervous.”

Feeling her quickened heartbeat, she reminded herself that this was about other people.

Such a shallow thought didn’t make it through, and her heart throbbed even faster.

At this rate her body wouldn’t hold out until the special exam ended. Think of what’s ahead.

“Resolve myself…”

She pushed both of her palms onto the mirror, glared at her reflection and whispered.