After Bai Ye left, I packed up the medicine and went to find Chu Xi. Because she was the daughter of Mount Hua’s Gatekeeper, her room is at the eastern side of the summit, the best location to absorb spiritual power from the universe and accelerate cultivation progress.

I was almost at her door when I heard a man’s voice coming from the room: “Trust me, Xi-er, this technique will help your spiritual power grow faster than you can ever imagine!”

My steps halted. A secret technique? Heaven knew how much I wanted to improve and stop being a powerless shame compared to Bai Ye. I stood quietly by the door and listened, hoping to hear more.

“Li Yuxian! You are so shameless!” Chu Xi exclaimed, but her tone didn’t sound angry. She was using the typical sweet and coy voice that she used to talk to everyone else except me.

Li Yuxian was one of the Gatekeeper’s disciples. He was very talented, and Chu Xi had always been fond of him. I didn’t know why Chu Xi would call him shameless for discussing cultivation techniques with her though.

“Xi-er,” Li Yuxian cooed, “it’ll just be between you and me. No one else will find out! Besides, don’t you always want to impress all the masters with your progress? Make people like Bai Ye regret not taking you as their disciple?”

Those words must have hit the right spot. Chu Xi went quiet, and after a moment, she sounded like she was speaking through clenched teeth: “Of course I want Bai Ye to regret it. No matter talent, beauty, status, Yun Qing-er is not even a comparison to me! I should’ve been Bai Ye’s only disciple!”

“Then make him realize his worst mistake in life. Let him see what he missed out on!” Li Yuxian said. “I can help you. This technique is the ultimate way to balance your yin-yang and purify your spiritual power. You’ll see a huge improvement in no time.”

Chu Xi seemed to be considering. “But what if my father finds out?” she asked. “What if …”

“No one will find out, I promise,” Li Yuxian said. “Your father is considering our marriage, isn’t he? As long as we will be married eventually, no one else will know this little piece of history between us.”

Chu Xi still hesitated though. “I should push my father some more then,” she said, “to make sure he doesn’t change his mind.”

Li Yuxian chuckled, and I heard him kiss Chu Xi. Chu Xi chirped. Their breathing grew heavy, and their clothes rustled.

It was too embarrassing to hear. I thought I should probably leave, but I was worried that they might hear my footsteps and realize I had heard their conversation. So instead of leaving, I stepped up and knocked on the door, pretending that I just arrived and didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

Everything in the room suddenly quieted. Chu Xi opened the door after a short moment, blocking half of the doorway so I couldn’t see her full room. Her cheeks were still flushed, and when she saw it was me, the panic on her face changed to hot anger. “Yun Qing-er!” she shouted. “What are you doing here?”

“Your medicine,” I said, offering her the bottle I packed up earlier.

Chu Xi took the bottle, but her anger didn’t ease. “You’re always great at picking the right time to visit, aren’t you?” she snarled.

Before she slammed the door closed on me, I caught a glimpse of the old book lying on her desk: Liangyi Technique.

~ ~

I looked all over Bai Ye’s library the next day, but I couldn’t find any books named Liangyi Technique. Maybe Li Yuxian had stolen a forbidden book from the Gatekeeper?

The familiar scent of cedar drifted in the room as I heard footsteps approaching. “What are you looking for?” Bai Ye’s voice came from behind me.

I turned around, debating what to say. “I …” I was terrible at lying, and I never lied to Bai Ye, but it felt too embarrassing to tell him what I eavesdropped on my fellow disciples.

“I … overheard a technique that can help accelerate cultivation progress,” I forced the words out. “I want to improve, Master. I’ve been your disciple for five years already, but my advancement is barely worth mentioning. Others can make the same progress in mere months. I …”

Bai Ye frowned. “I’ve told you many times already, Qing-er. Everyone progresses at a different speed. You don’t need to compare yourself to others, as long as you are doing your best.”

“But my best is not enough!” I blurted out. “I … I feel unworthy of being your disciple, Master. I will be too ashamed of myself if things keep going like this. Please tell me how I can do better!”

My heart was pounding hard after I said those words. I had never spoken to Bai Ye so outwardly before. I was too afraid to tell him my insecurities, too afraid that he would either laugh it off or, worse yet, realize that I was right and take someone else as a new disciple instead.

Bai Ye stared at me. The look in his dark eyes showed his astonishment, but there was also a sudden sadness and some other emotions that I didn’t understand.

“Does your progress really bother you this much?” he asked. “That you’re willing to try a new technique without knowing how hard it is, or what price it might come with?”

“I’m willing to try anything,” I took a deep breath and replied, “as long as it will help.”

Bai Ye sighed. “I didn’t know this is how you’ve felt the whole time, Qing-er. I should’ve known better … I should’ve listened.”

The self-reproach in his tone surprised me. I opened my mouth to try to better explain myself, but he raised a hand and stopped me. “I’ll show you something tomorrow that will help you,” he said. “But don’t trust other people’s talks so easily next time, and don’t just go off and try new techniques yourself. Not every technique fits every person, and it could be dangerous if you pick the wrong one.”

“Yes, Master,” I said with a shudder after realizing the consequences belatedly.

“What is the technique that you overheard anyway?” Bai Ye asked.

“Liangyi Technique.”

“Liangyi?” his eyes widened. I thought I saw his face turn a bit white, then a bit red. At last he asked: “Do you know what type of technique that is?”

“No …” I answered. Bai Ye’s reaction confused me. “Is there something wrong with it?”

He cleared his throat in all seriousness.. “It’s a dual cultivation technique.”