Oh, I hate this feeling. I hated it more than anything else. Pain, I can deal with, but this… this sinking feeling – doing nothing.

I hated doing nothing.

Lying here, resting here, I have no input, no oversight. I felt like I was in a hospital, pacing up and down outside the operating room door, unable to do anything to help, just waiting… hoping for some good news to come barging through those doors.

Would rather go back to breaking barriers than spend another minute doing nothing except counting every passing minute.

Especially with Sammy the way she was now – conflicted – staring nowhere but seeing too much all the same… pacing those same white corridors as I was.

Yeah, I can’t take this anymore.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

Sammy so quickly snapped out of her deep somber stupor it was almost scary… I barely even did anything yet, and yet somehow she still knew.

“Can… speak…” I wheezed, lifting my head an inch upward. “Can see…”

“But can’t move, barely,” She said in a huff, her blurry outline springing from the chair and gently pushing me back down on the bed. “Would it kill you to just rest? Do you need me to hold out a mirror? You look like crap.”

“I feel… like crap,” I said, all my efforts rendered futile by her hand pressing against my chest. “Let go, Sammy…”

“Seriously. The way you are…  you’re really thinking of going?” 

“I am going.”

“Yeah, the hell you are,” Sammy said, breath heavy with exasperation. “For once, just this once, can you not make me worry? Is it too much to ask you to do that for me?”

“I need… to know, Sammy.”

“And you will!” She shouted in a whisper. “In an hour! two! What’s the difference between now and later?!”

“I don’t know now…”

“Stop it. Stop being stubborn. Look where that got you. You keep going… I’m scared… like, where else will it take you?” 

Sammy being worried wasn’t anything unusual.. skinned knees and elbows, and she’d be the first one to sarcastically replace my bandages. What was unusual, however, was how overtly blatant she was expressing that worry.

I could feel it… her fingers quivering on my skin, and that nervous, strained look in her eyes there… straying far from her usual detached, callous expression. There was barely any strength in her voice as well…

Must have really given her quite the scare. If she’s really that worried, then…

“Come with me.”

Her gaze grew tenser, her brows slanting sharply down. “I seriously hope you didn’t just say that.”

“I did.”

“Then I’m gonna pretend you didn’t,” She shook her head at me. “I said not to make me worry, and your solution is to have me tag along?”

“You want… to keep an eye on me…” I said slowly, forcing my voice out my throat. “So… keep an eye on me.”

“Yeah and I can do that so much more easily in here on top seeing absolutely no reason for both of us to be present there. Plus, there, over there, it’s like… “

Sammy didn’t finish. She didn’t have to. I knew her gripe, her reluctance… coming with me also meant confronting her again. The big bad antagonist responsible for all this. But if anything, frankly… it was just all the more reason that she should.

“Talk to her…” I said feebly, lips barely moving. “You can’t… ignore her forever, Sammy.”

“I know,” She said, looking away. “But I damn wish that I could.”

I stared at her face, blurred, obscured, but somehow, still clear as day.

“No you don’t,” I said, slowly lifting her hand from my chest and holding it in mine. “Come… let’s go and see mom.”

Beyond all expectations, Sammy actually came around, though very, very reluctantly and resentfully as she would vehemently express to me many times over the course of the time it took for me to get my feet on the ground.

The hardest part was getting the sleeping Ash to let go of my hand. The way she held me… it was as if she was terrified I might suddenly slip away from her grasp and so she grabbed on, as tightly, as desperately as she could, that even in slumber, there was no chance of letting me go.

But you can let go, Ash. It’s fine. I’m fine now. All thanks to you. The whole reason I am even able to move again quicker than I should.

I didn’t dare wake her, not when her skin was almost as deathly pale as mine. Hypocritically, I know… but my pain, my discomfort, I can handle no problem.

Hers? Not so much.

When I did finally manage to pry my hand free, immediately ever so slightly she squirmed in place, ears twitching, her once peaceful expression showing unrest, as if sensing something missing.

“It’s okay,” I whispered to the white blur in front of me. “I’ll be back soon.”

Then like magic, the twitching stopped, the squirming halted, and once more she began slumbering at ease.

“That’s kinda creepy,” remarked a dim brown smudge standing beneath the open doorway. “But sure, it works, whatever.”

It took some getting used to trying to stand again, it was just like back then – rehabilitating back at home after clearing the Blight – the feeling in my body was the same as before.

Luckily, since this wasn’t my first time, I adapted quickly, and soon I was taking my first steps forward while using everything in reach as a makeshift crutch – little sister included.

“You’re heavy, you know,” Sammy muttered, begrudgingly limping me across the hallway. “There’s still the staircase too, what’s the plan there?” 

I just sighed. “Hope.”

By some miracle though, we managed to reach the ground floor without any incident, and once there, it was only a beeline towards the front door, easy enough.

But then a whiff of smoke coming from the living room had me straying my steps at a steep angle to the side, and peering from the hall, the smell only grew stronger, more pervasive, and that’s when  I noticed the large murky outline sitting alone on the armchair.

And apparently, it noticed me too, heaving out a large audible breath, that only intensified the stench

“You’re awake, you’re moving…” It spoke, he spoke… speaking in a familiar blunt, fatherly voice. “Samantha, I told you he shouldn’t be moving.”

Beside me, I heard Sammy let out a little scoff. 

“Right, because for sure he’s gonna listen to me… look, even if I didn’t help him, he’d just tumble his way down here all the same – ‘least this way there’s no broken bones to fix too.”

“I’m fine by the way,” I weakly muttered, “Thanks for asking.”

Our previous conversation was still fresh in my mind, and no doubt, it was just as fresh in his too.

Even without my blurred eyesight, deciphering Dad’s expression was still just as much of a mystery as it always was.

“I’m happy that you are,” He responded, that aforementioned happiness lost in his monotone voice. “But I’ll be even happier if you’re better. Go back. Go rest.”

“Not until I know Harry will be just fine.”

“He will be,” Dad said, pausing, exhaling. “Now that you’ve done enough… he will be…”

“Would rather see for myself, actually.”

He grunted. “Of course you would.”

“You’re not going to stop me?”

“I want you healed, I want not to see you hunching here in front of me, I want you not in pain, I want a lot of things,” He said stoically. “But that’s not what you want, so… go.”

Anybody else said that, and I’d assume they just weren’t in their best mood. But in this case, this was just dad being dad.

Except for that stench around him, that stench, as irritating as ever… especially since it’s here. I’ve never smelt it here.

“I thought you only do that outside, in the car,” I said, wrinkling my nose and recoiling a step back. “The house… it’s not healthy for mom, right?”

“Air freshener,” He replied, exhaling out again and the smell growing thicker. “I’m stressed, that’s all. You can go.”

I didn’t go just yet.

“Any particular reason why?”

“No,” He said. “Go.”

And being told the second time, I finally got the message. To the front door, I go.

It took longer than I’d like to admit to align myself to the proper direction, but with some minor readjustments from Sammy, I managed just fine.

Yet, two steps in, the smell grew thicker, his breath blew louder.

“I think you’re wrong,” He said. “I still think you’re wrong. Killing him, considering everything, I still think that would be for the best. Even now.”

I didn’t stop to hear him out, in fact, I was already inches away from the door, fingers wrapped around the knob, turning, hinges squeaking… he spoke again.

“That being said,” His voice faintly resounded. “You would have made for a far better Hero than I could ever be…”