Chapter 48

***

“…… huh?”

My head, which had been foggy from the squealing and the heat, became increasingly blurry. It was like a thick fog.

I can’t believe he married me wasn’t for the children.

Of course, I thought he wanted my blood, which was filled with magical power, and visited a remote place like the Kingdom of Achaia to propose an alliance.

So I figured I wasn’t the target of the deal he wanted. There’s a reason for that.

How nervous I was to make sure he didn’t find out about my lies. I even prolonged our consummation by faking I was weak.

Kwanach clutched my face and made me look at him. I could feel the moisture pooling in the corners of my eyes hardening and falling downward.

I opened my mouth absentmindedly.

“I naturally assumed that you married me because of your successor to the empire. But, I can’t have children, so in the end I’m not needed by you. …….”

Kwanach gasped, interrupting me.

“No, it’s not. Never.”

“Why ……?”

“Why?”

Kwanach’s eyes crinkled up as if he was hurt. A shuddering breath flooded out from between his lips.

“Don’t say that, Usphere. My heart is torn just hearing it. It’s because I didn’t say anything that you have such a misunderstanding…. ….”

Kwanach let out a heavy sigh before slowly approaching me. Our heated lips briefly interlocked and fell.

Kwanach said, gazing at me.

“I’ve never thought of you as a means so far.”

“…….”

“I married you because I wanted you, Usphere.”

My lips opened helplessly without realizing it.

It felt like my body was caving in underneath me, even though I was sitting there leaning against Kwanach. My heart pounded and skipped a beat.

He wanted me as a person.

The whisper was so hot and sweet that my whole body melted. Did anyone ever treat me like this in my previous life and this life combined?

The reason why I was treated differently in this life was because I fulfilled my duties as an Awakener. Unlike my previous life when I was a failure, I had power.

The title of the kingdom’s shield preceded the name Usphere Catatel.

But I took it for granted. I wasn’t disappointed. I was a person born with many rights and corresponding duties.

I came from a line of rulers. It was a life that had no choice but to value gender-related obligations rather than names.

“……you wanted me?”

Kwanach, however, was not like the rest of them. Could there be a more heartfelt confession of love than this?

Suddenly, I remembered what Kwanach said in the carriage on our wedding day. He had said that he wanted a true marriage.

Now that I’ve revealed the lies I’ve been hiding, I felt like I knew what such a relationship was. Kwanach was felt clearer and closer than ever before.

Still, I couldn’t believe what he said completely, so I asked in a agitated voice

“But you still have to have an heir. I was actually researching how to have a child on my own. I don’t know for sure, but it may not be impossible at all.”

“That’s okay. Just don’t take it too far. I could just choose someone competent to rule and declare to him. What’s the problem?”

“But…….”

“It’s not in my character to be obsessed to have an heir. Even if the child is my son doesn’t mean he’s capable, but he inherited the throne and that’s what past dynasties have become.”

It was Kwanach’s idea, abolishing slavery and building a new empire. Kwanach said as he gently patted my cheek and neck.

“You have nothing to worry about, and you don’t have to feel guilty about what anyone says around you. I will make their tongues useless to you forever.”

“No, it is only natural to worry that the emperor will have no heir….”

“Didn’t you say it was my fault that made you misunderstood?”

Kwanach had a tendency to try to take the blame for everything. It seemed to be a habit. Is that why I keep leaning on Kwanach like a baby?

Because no matter what I do, he always says okay.

With a small sigh, I rested my weak neck on Kwanach’s shoulder.

“Has your fever risen again? I really need to call the doctor. Lie down, please.”

Kwanach led me gently and laid me on the bed.

He was right, my health was getting worse again. My body, which was trying to compensate for my energy, wanted to sleep constantly. My eyelids began to droop more and more heavily.

But there was still so much I wanted to ask Kwanach. I exhaled and looked at him. I overcame my overflowing fatigue and opened my mouth.

“Kwanach…… by the way, if we didn’t know each other until our wedding day, how did you know about me and marry me…ackack… did you decide?”

When I coughed, Kwanach shouted and called the doctor. He hesitated for a moment.

“That’s…..”

“Have we met before?” (Usphere.)

“You don’t have to know …….” (Kwanach)

Kwanach looked away from me with a puzzled expression.

“It was a long time ago. You don’t have to remember it. I hope you don’t remember me from that time. It was very ugly.”

Kwanach was reluctant to divulge his past.

Kwanach and ugliness were two words that didn’t go well together at all.

What on earth…Did I ever meet him? When?

I tried to search my memory, but it was unclear.

This was not the only question. What is he going to do about Roman and Diaquit, will he do a full investigation on the Guilier, what about the nobles who were locked up, how will he calm their discontent……

There were a lot of political issues that needed to be resolved. I wish I could have been of more help to Kwanach.

Of course, I knew that Kwanach was a very wise man, but he had led the revolution to victory with his wild, animal senses, and his talent was only specialized in war.

This time, when I saw how furious and politically overwhelmed he had become, I thought I would have to stand by his side and put my head together with him.

But the sleep that was pouring in could not quite prevail, I closed my eyes, as if I fainted.

* * * *

I came to my senses and spent another five days just lying in bed.

I noticed something was wrong.

I had come back to life from a near-death crisis and spent most of the day asleep. And sometimes I woke up, but Kwanach wasn’t around.

This was proof that the situation at the Imperial Palace was tense. Eventually, though, Kwanach went into the bedroom.

I wanted to know how the case was going, but every time I asked a question, the answer I got from Kwanach was always the same.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m taking care of it.”

He didn’t tell me. No, he seemed to be deliberately hiding the situation.

I couldn’t stand it, so I asked Simon and Marianne about it, but they just answered that they didn’t know anything.

Why don’t they let me know anything?

We confessed to each other and I thought our hearts were connected. Every time we met for a little while, Kwanach was extremely kind and affectionate. I couldn’t have been happier.

But somewhere, little by little, our relationship was getting awkward.

Fortunately, after the fifth day, I were able to move a little. I was so frustrated that I staggered to the door and opened it.

“Your Majesty! You can’t leave!”

“What is this?”

The corridor in front of the bedroom was packed with numerous guards. It was truly a thorough surveillance and security. The soldiers were fully armed, as if it was war time.

While I was in a daze, Marianne hurried led me back to the bed.

“Marianne, let go of me.”

“Please forgive my rudeness, Your Majesty.”

I was still too sick to overcome the strength of Marianne, who was bigger than me. I had to sit motionless on the bed again, pulled by Marianne’s hand.

“Marianne, what’s wrong?”

Marianne let go of me and bowed deeply.

“I was under strict orders from the Emperor to never let the Empress go outside.”

I let out a small sigh and touched my forehead.

“I see. I can understand His Majesty’s concern since I was injured…He doesn’t want me to overdo it, but I need to know what’s going on outside.”

Marianne didn’t reply, but kept biting her lip.

“‘Am I supposed to just lie here, knowing nothing?”

“…….”

“Marianne!”

I called her urgently, and Marianne squeezed her eyes shut and opened them.

“It was also the Emperor’s order not to say anything.”

“To me? Why?”

“The emperor is …..”

Marianne had a complicated look on her face.

“He’s changed a bit since you collapsed.”

“What do you mean?”

SKwanach’s eyes, which were full of madness, flashed through my mind suddenly.

“He’s always anxious, and his temper has grown fierce. I think it’s because he’s afraid of losing Her Majesty. That’s why he doesn’t want you to step into any political situations.”

“Still. You can’t treat me like a child and leave me alone without saying anything.”

“With all due respect, I think so too. But the situation is….His Majesty is just anxious.”

“What’s the situation?”

“…….”

“Marianne, please.”

When I abandoned my dignity as an empress and spoke to Marianne as if I were begging her, she opened her mouth after a moment of hesitation.

“Roman is gone…..”