Chapter 38

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s true anyway.”

“No, it’s not. You’ll be healthy again soon, and you’ll definitely return to the knight order,” I said hurriedly. “I’ll make sure you get better.”

He stared at me wordlessly.

“Why…”

I raised my head at his sudden low tone. Against the orange sunset filtering through the window, his blue eyes were piercing.

“Why are you doing all this for me?”

“….”

“I’ve been wondering about it. Just why are you doing this?”

He was speaking in a relaxed, languid tone, and yet I felt like I wanted to hide. The way he was looking at me was so intense that it felt like I was being interrogated.

“So? Have you come to a conclusion?”

I purposely raised my chin as I asked, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the guilt gnawing at me.

“…I haven’t a clue,” he confessed, squinting at me. “I’m more annoyed because I couldn’t figure you out. What’s wrong with you all of a sudden? Unless you’re really thinking about getting pregnant.”

He glared at me, and as if I was a deer caught in the headlights, I froze.

“….”

I couldn’t answer him to satisfy his curiosity.

To be honest, I didn’t even know where to start.

If I told him the entire story from point A to Z, he’d probably treat me like a crazy person. But, in any case, what I was doing for him right now was already making him think that I’d gone coo-coo.

From his point of view, I knew that he didn’t want kids, but I can also see how baffled he was at my constant attempts to seemingly convince him otherwise.

To save his life, I must first gain his trust. However, the contract was getting in the way because I couldn’t tell him about it.

What else could I do to gain his faith without mentioning the contract? No matter how much I racked my brain, the answer wouldn’t come to me easily.

“I just want you to live long and well. That’s really all. Please believe me.”

…It was an excuse that no one would believe, but it was the only one up my sleeve.

“Is that really all?”

I couldn’t help but smile as he asked me.

“Well, I’ll need to go now.”

Though as I got up, he hurriedly reached out to grab my hand. Long fingers gently wrapped around the bandage.

“Does it still hurt?”

I was at a loss for words again. This time, my heart was heavy for a different reason.

‘Is it bothering you that much?’

How would he react if he found out that I was only half-acting about the pain by now? What would happen to me?

…Let’s not worry in advance because that’s not going to happen.

“I’m wearing a bandage because it still hurts.”

Nonetheless, the truth was, the swelling and the bruise had subsided a lot. My bones weren’t broken, so I’d be able to remove the bandage soon.

“Are you being treated?”

“Of course.”

“When can you remove the bandage?”

“Well, I think I heard that I still need to keep it on for some time.”

“You heard?”

His eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes. I heard.”

Why was he listening to my words so carefully…

“Now that you mention it, I remember that I need to drop by the clinic. Then, I’ll get going.”

But, the hand that gripped mine did not let go. And, it wasn’t easy to pull out my hand even though it didn’t seem like he was exerting any force.

“Amoide?”

Embarrassed for some reason, I called his name. Then, slowly, his hand relaxed over mine and let go.

“….”

I glanced furtively at him as I held my hand closer to my chest.

Turning a blind eye to his penetrating gaze, I scurried out of the room.

* * * 

Click.

As the door closed, the bewildered Selena disappeared as well.

Amoide stared at the closed door for a long time, as if to continue looking at the woman who had just left. She was so easy to read. She was so expressive that everything she was thinking showed up on her face.

Besides, it seemed like she was totally unaware of this fact.

[ “You must have been bored without me.” ]

As she asked this question, her eyes sparkled. It was ridiculous. Why did she look like that? Just why?

At first, Amoide thought she was just acting. She’d show those expressions a few times, pretending in front of him. Then time would pass, and she would stop acting.

Still, why was this woman so eager about things related to him?

Why didn’t she stop hovering around him despite all the harsh words he threw at her?

There were so many questions hovering in his mind that he couldn’t answer…

[ The Young Madam is out today. ]

At breakfast this morning, despite the splendid dishes splayed in front of him on the table, he looked down on them with indifferent eyes.

[ She’s been coming every day, so it’s hectic, but you can focus quietly on your meal today, sire. ]

Emma seemed excited. As she said, mealtime was really quiet.

There was no one sitting in front of Amoide, chattering and nagging him to eat this and that.

Before, Selena used to be so intimidated by him that she always hid as soon as she would see him, seeming like he was trying not to catch his gaze as much as possible.

Whenever Amoide collapsed from a fever back then, she would always stand back and just look from a distance.

It was the same that day.

Among the others around him, with her hands clasped together as if she was praying, she couldn’t even get close as she had tears in her eyes.

It was always like that when he saw flashes of his surroundings in the midst of his severe fevers. She would always just stand back and watch from a certain distance, neither too close nor too far.

That’s how it was.

“….”

He glanced at his hand.

The small, pale hand that he held with his large, prominent hand until its bones were almost crushed.

He didn’t mean to do that.

[ Amoide, hang in there. ]

The memory was clear despite the pain that seemed to tear his whole body apart.

It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t an illusion…

The quiet voice, whispering for him to hang in there, and the small, warm hand that he held unconsciously. He relied on that hand. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was the truth.

When he opened his eyes, the first person he saw was Selena.

[ Get out. ]

He thought that would be the end of it. Frightened, terrified. After warning her during their first room sharing night, he thought she would never come near him again.

Although she changed completely some time ago.

[ Amoide, want to go on a stroll with me? ]

Just looking at her sticking her nose into everything, going around everywhere, was annoying him.

“Why the hell…”

He grabbed his hair and spat out a curse.

After that day, it felt like he was being shaken. He felt like an ant hill being poured over with water, filling up the well-structured tunnels that used to be sturdy and organized.

It wasn’t a pleasant experience.

When he saw Selena looking down on her own hand… and the moment those big, green eyes met with his gaze anxiously…

[ Why are you doing this to me? ]

This was a question that he wanted to ask himself. Not to Selena.

* * * 

“Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?”

As I walked across the garden with some urgency, I remembered what Amoide said.

“No, do you hate it when someone’s worrying about you? Anyway, you’re acting suspiciously.”

Continuing my steps and swinging my arm, Amoide was still looking pointedly at my bandaged hand.

“There’s nothing you should worry about.”

He’s been acting weird since earlier. Not a little, but a lot.

Did he eat something bad? Or…?

‘I heard people are about to die when they suddenly change.’

Ah. No, no. That’s not it!

Let’s not have such ominous thoughts. I shook my head from side to side to push down the bad ideas, struggling to clear my mind.

Meooow.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar cry. As I turned my head, I saw a black cat sitting in one corner and wiping his face with its front paw.

“Noir!”

The black cat immediately went closer to me and rubbed his head against my hand, purring louder.

“Noir, come here. It’s dangerous there.”

The snakes could go after Noir, so he should be evacuated from this place right away.

Regardless, where can I hide him…?

Where can I hide him in this vast Duchy?

I should look for a place where people don’t pass through often. A place where no one would care if a small animal wandered around.

As I thought hard, there was only one place that came to mind.

‘There’s really no other place.’

* * * 

“Hang in there a bit, okay?”

Meooow.

Like a good kitty, Noir answered me every time I spoke to him.

“I think this is the best place you can be in the world.”

The place where I brought Noir was at the isolated pavilion called ‘Moonlight Haven. The room was in a small building that had a total of about seven rooms, but there were traces of elaborate decoration everywhere.

No one was staying there now, and it was a rarely used building, so it’s pretty old and dilapidated.

When I first discovered this place, I was surprised to find such a place in the sparkling, glamorous Ducal estate. It’s been a while since I’ve been here, and since no one was living here, I’ll just need to manage it well and clean occasionally.

The main building, where Camilla made sure to keep it neat and tidy for Amoide, it was clear that the Duchy’s sparkly exterior could be seen only there and not here.

‘This place must have been so beautiful when it was first built.’

Now, it was difficult to even know what the walls’ original color was, and the outer walls were already covered with vines.

A thick layer of dust fell over the marble floor, and the ceilings and decorations were either worn out or broken.

One of the former Dukes of Efret, known widely as a doting husband, built this building for his wife. Now, as long as his ghost doesn’t come out and shake hands with me, then it’ll all be fine.